[SE] remember to breathe

Lena

The whole of the incident in the Tundra rankled at her nerves – despite not being involved with the action, those close to her had been immersed, embedded, wounded, and –

She didn’t want to think about the latter part, and swallowed down the remnants of everything else. It wasn’t the healthiest way to resolve trauma, bottling and containing, suppressing and stifling, but in these current times, she wasn’t certain what else to do. Lena didn’t rage at the world. She calmly stared into the rise and fall of tempests and tried her best to find footing; gently grabbing hold of others as she did so.

Which was why she’d sent word ahead, then knocked on the door of the residence Sohalia was currently staying at. “Hey, it’s Lena,” she called through the wooden frame, basket full of ingredients to try and comfort the anguish and fear away.

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

Oh, don’t worry, Lena. You’re not the only one haunted by the tundra incident.

When the knock came, it startled Soh out of a stupor in which she’d been reliving the ordeal once more, playing back every moment in her mind as though to search for something she might have done differently in order to protect Zavien and Alys’s companion. If she’d been stronger, faster, smarter - would it have made any difference? Even if she knew in her heart that she’d done all she could, she couldn’t help but wonder. It left her with shadows under her eyes and a weight upon her shoulders, both of which would be obvious when she answered the door.

Still, she tried on a smile, even if it felt foreign. ”Hey, Lena,” she said, gesturing towards the interior. ”Come on in. Kitchen’s straight back.” She stood aside for Lena to enter, then followed behind her friend.

Lena

Sohalia’s appearance didn’t surprise her – there was an indisputable weight across many shoulders now – and Lena knew better than to spring anything other than gentle accord across the boundaries. “Thanks for inviting me,” she countered quietly, beginning to make her way down the corridors and halls that she had never encountered. Questions of ‘how are you doing’ faltered at the back of her mind, and never dared slip past her lips, because the summation of everything could be weighted in such substantial grief, terror, and pain, that bringing it up wouldn’t have helped with anything.

Instead, it was all gentleness and softness, head tilting back as they entered the kitchen, and she began a casual inspection of the oven. “What did you feel like making?”

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

There was something solemn about their meeting today, some quiet undercurrent that hadn’t been there in their recent travels. Perhaps it was the reminder that, despite Soh’s plotting and planning, the Family had a way of ruining such things. She’d intended to retake and hold Stormbreak before, but now, after her injuries and Zavien’s death… well, she wasn’t inclined to make either of them more of a target for the Family. Her failure before her coup had even begun ate at her almost as much as her failure with the yeti.

In any case, she could always rely on Lena for calm companionship, and it was a comfortable kind of silence that they shared as they entered the kitchen. ”How about some brownies?” she suggested softly. ”I’ve been craving some chocolate.”

Lena

She swallowed down the rifts and barbs clinging to her throat; the solemn quiet lingering across both individuals. What had once been heroic had become harrowing, and both the tangible and intangible wounds lining the surface. She didn’t even dare mention the planned sedition; not when consequences stared them down so immensely. Any plans that had been in the Caretaker’s head seemed to have billowed away on the news of Zavien’s – so for now, they tended to things that appeared normal.

Her fingers didn’t shake as she set the oven timer on, nor did her smile feel forced. “Brownies sound amazing.” She went through her bag, pulling away ingredients – the list of potentials had been bagged and sealed and ready, no matter what they’d ended up deciding. Opting to glide through the kitchen area and find the utensils, bowls, and necessities, she tried to find the inquiries safest, comforting, rather than anything alarming. Instead she settled for something easy – as if they were talking about the weather instead of ghosting around the mangled events. “Do we want extra chocolate? I have some fudge portions that would go in it nicely.”

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

What Soh wouldn’t give to go back in time, to their last conversation, when things still seemed bright and hopeful. Of course, she had known then that their plans - and the world at large - were not without danger, but it had been a faraway, tomorrow’s problem sort of danger, the kind that didn’t require her to figure out how to live with it in the here and now. But in the aftermath of her own near-death experience and Zavien’s full-death one, it was impossible to ignore, and to Soh, their failed plans seemed to hang between the women as they prepared to bake.

Still, she was hesitant to bring it up, if only to find comfort in the lightness that Lena brought into the room. If the Caretaker was bothered, she did a much better job than Soh of hiding her more negative emotions. Still, the Luminary tried, putting on a thoughtful smile and considering their options. ”Extra chocolate sounds divine.” With that decided, she set about retrieving the bowls and utensils they would need to get started, bustling about the kitchen that she now knew as well as she’d once known her own.

Lena

Yesterday’s notions of sedition had become present day’s silence – an absence of all the cautious optimism and sketched, outlined plans; the rough drafts sewn into something Lena couldn’t quite place any longer. Not when everything had hit so perilously and dangerously close to home; their notions exposed to the cold and sinew and found sorely lacking – and she wouldn’t even be able to begin to put minds together to do anything else but venture into the Greatwood and look for flowers.

So she didn’t bring it up either, and they meandered around the thorns and eggshells. Nodding at the notions of extra chocolate, she snagged at the bowls and utensils provided, beginning to mix portions together. “Can you grab the eggs?” She mentioned, checking on the oven again to ensure it was still pre-heating, and then opting to place a light amount of vanilla into the brewing portions in the bowl. “And we’ll save some extras for us, mm?” She winked – trying to break apart all the awful melancholic thresholds roaming through her – and undoubtedly Sohalia too.

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

Sohalia grabbed the eggs and placed them near Lena, content to allow the Caretaker to take control of the baking. While Lena checked on the oven, the Luminary snagged a piece of chocolate from the pile, popping it into her mouth and allowing it to melt slowly rather than devouring it. When Lena turned back around, it would be to a friend with a face filled with innocence, as though she couldn’t possibly have stolen a morsel.

Grabbing the bowl and a whisk to make herself look busy, Soh began to stir the batter. ”Do you want the extra chocolate mixed in, or on top?” she asked, trying for the same air of lightness that Lena brought to the kitchen. ”Or maybe both?”

Lena

Lena wouldn’t have thought her friend partial to chocolate theft, so as it was, she remained painstakingly calm and kind, smiling in return as she began to mix wet and dry ingredients together in her own bowl – figuring combinations of both hers and Sohalia’s would yield plenty of brownies for themselves and those at the impending festival exchange. “Both,” she laughed in return, brows raised in some form of a mutual challenge.

From there, she snagged at the pan, extra chocolate mixed in her portions, and began to spoon the thickened batter out until it was even and smooth, which took quite a bit of concentration and focus. "When you're ready, we can put them in!" And definitely lick the bowl.

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

To be fair, it was hardly theft if it was all going to end up in their bellies regardless, and one little morsel wasn’t going to be enough to miss. At least, that’s what Soh told herself as she snagged at the piece, innocently waiting for Lena to answer before grinning in response. Did it feel a little like they were playing pretend, dancing around all that had happened since they last spoke? Yes, of course it did. But perhaps that was alright - perhaps, in fact, it was what they each needed in order to make it through the day.

And it got easier as time passed, particularly as the brownies were placed into the waiting oven and the bowl was shared between the two. ”Gods, I always forget how much I love brownie batter,” Soh admitted as she scraped the side of the bowl with a clean spoon. ”What’s your favorite dessert?”

Lena

Lena was decent at walking along eggshells and delicacies without looking downward; she’d practiced most of the time with her parents, and even more so in governmental affairs or avoidance of Dahlia. Even if it was mentally exhausting, she wasn’t about to wandering and meandering down a rabbit hole with Sohalia on the horrifying ventures in Halo – not when she was still processing the entire thing from the sidelines. She couldn’t justify asking a single question about it, let alone exposing a raw wound yet again.

So batter it was, and a light back and forth. Using her spoon to scrape the sides of the bowl, she hummed with delight. “Hmmm…it’s difficult to choose. I’m very partial to any kind of cheesecake though.” Taking another laden amount, she tilted her head. “What’s yours?”

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

Sohalia made a mental note of Lena’s love of cheesecake, planning to use it to prepare something special for her friend in the future. Perhaps if she did some digging, she could determine when Lena’s birthday was and send her some then. She doubted she’d be able to take it to the Caretaker, given that she was probably no longer welcome in Stormbreak. But surely someone would be able to deliver it to her…

”I like red velvet cake,” she divulged as she scraped another bit of batter. ”Although, to be honest, I’m not picky when it comes to dessert.” Chocolate, strawberry, cake, cookies, ice cream… she’d happily take them all. The only things she didn’t like much were those that had too many nuts mixed in or sprinkled on top.

Lena

“Oooh, red velvet,” Lena murmured, as if suddenly reminded of the wonderful concoction. “I’m not very picky either,” she laughed, finding it far easier to delve into those circumstances rather than meander around wallowing fixtures. “Have you tried red velvet cookies? I’ve only seen them around bakeries every so often – and anything pumpkin related in Leafchange, of course.” That should be easy to find, no matter where Sohalia was in that season, given the ample amounts of the vampire gourds.

Eventually, between the other bits of dessert concoctions and conversation, the smell of the baking brownies wafted through the home, and the Caretaker readied the oven mitts she’d brought with her. Giving a grin, her hand wrapped around the opening to the oven, glancing back at Sohalia. “Ready to check them?”

The universe listens to brave

Sohalia

It was all too easy to fall into the simple back and forth that she and Lena often defaulted to, and a welcome relief to not have to worry about the deeper implications of what had happened in Halo. Sohalia clapped her hands together as they prepared to check on the brownies, happily discarding her worries for another time. At least if she focused on baking, she could take a mental break from the load that threatened to drag her under.

When they checked, the brownies were indeed finished - perfectly fudgy, just as Soh liked them - and the women pulled them from the oven to cool before splitting them evenly between the two of them. And if Soh snuck one or two before the Feast, well, who was to know the difference?

fin