food in the woodsen

Zavien

Strike hands with me. The glass is brim.
The dew is on the heather.

The next round of beers go down easier than the first, tasting more like water by the second. Unlike with water, Zavien is now very drunk rather than overly hydrated. He's had nine? ten? twenty? beers? And a few shots? Eh? What does it matter? (At this point, very little.)

A sunburnt flush has taken residence on his face, his words running into each other like they're in a competition for loudest or fastest, no one knows. One arm is propped on the bar, gripping his (insert ambiguous number here) beer, while the other has firmly claimed Pip like a security blanket. 

It feels like they've been talking about Soh all night, and yet that's probably just the muddling of his mind, because he could have sworn they just had a conversation about whether Safrin would approve a quest for a dick shaped sword (they agreed that was more of a Sex Frey quest). So, when Koa finally brings up Soh again, Zavien throws his head back. "Duuuude. Igetit. Like, Iwasssn'teventheonewhoasskedLenaout. I wassooooscared." He laughs loudly, throwing down more of his beer in a practiced motion. As he swallows, he shakes his head, his longer-than-usual hair flopping to the side. "But, ya' knowwhat?" Leaning forward, he glances around like someone might catch his secret, even though he still says it loud enough for all to hear. "Bein'inlove'ssooomuchworser." His face scrunches in confusion. Is 'worser' a word?

Regardless, Zavien plows on. "I caretoomuch, ya' know? Like, I'mscaredt'lose 'er." He shrugs his shoulders, flopping his head onto his hand and pushing out his drink, a sunny, unfocused look on his face. "But thashowIknowIlove 'er, ya' know?"

And love is good, and life is long,
and friends are best together.

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

Koa's unfocused attention is as fixed as it possibly can be on Zavien, drinking in his friend's drunken ramblings as though they were pearls of wisdom from Vi himself. He nods sympathetically at the confession of terror, reaching to offer a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Except that Zav's arm seems to have teleported somehow, and Koa has to pause a second, screwing his face into a mildly constipated expression before trying again. This time his hand lands on his friend's elbow, and y'know what? Close enough.

"Bein' in love is worser," Koa agrees with a vehement nod, blinking as the world continues to bob even after his head's grown still. He'd been in love with Flora, he's pretty sure, and that had pretty much ruined his confidence, turned him into an insecure sad-sack who'd rather run screaming from his emotions than actually do something about it.  "Growin' up, they never said love was s'posed t'be scary. Like, I dunno man - is it even worth it, if it just makes you scared all the time?" Scared of being disappointed, scare of being rejected.

There's already enough to be scared of, these days.

Lowering himself to Zavien's level, he props his chin upon the table to better peer at his friend. "D'you really think there's a chance it's gonna not work? With Lena? Or like... is it just a bad blip cus' of y'know." He gestures vaguely to the world at large. "Everything."

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat

Zavien

Strike hands with me. The glass is brim.
The dew is on the heather.

Koa's movements are too slow and too fast all at once, swimming before his eyes. He thinks the hand is going to come up in a slap, then maybe a pat on the back, but it ultimately lands on his elbow, making him laugh. "Right?! I'dratherdieagain'anlosesomeoneIlove." Koa's one of them, and he's found that Lena falls very firmly in that category despite their short time together.

There's a strong scowl on his face. It's hard to think about this topic when sober, and even harder when drunk. He holds his drink to his head, a loud groan echoing in the din of the bar. His voice slows a little, slurring at the edges as he tries to think properly. "I dunno. It all hit at a bad time..." His death. His confession. Sol's departure. It all came so early in their relationship that he wasn't sure the budding flower would stand against the firestorm of misfortune.

Sitting up suddenly, he reaches for Koa, missing twice before grabbing at the front of his shirt, his eyes wild with desperation. "I wannit t'work!" Then his face falls, sadness pulling at his mouth as he drops his hand. "I jus' wish tha'was enough."

And love is good, and life is long,
and friends are best together.

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

"What?!" Koa's startle is a beat or two late, but it's taking him a lot of work to parse the conversation. Alarm spreads like moss over his face; he grabs for Zavien's elbow, gripping it urgently in his hand. "Woah, no, don't say that, man!" He shakes his head vehemently, then sucks in a breath as the motion dislodges a wave of nausea from his guts. "Don' even joke'bout that, man. No fuckin' dying, k? 'Specially over a girl. Nobody got time for that shit." Maybe not exactly what Zavien was saying, but it's the thing that Koa's decided to be worried about.

Suddenly his shirt is in Zavien's hands, even though it's actually a decent bit later. Koa blinks as his friend's face looms close in his vision, and without really considering it wraps his arms around Zavien, pulling him in for a hug. "I know," Koa slurs soothes mushily, rubbing his palm in what he intends to be calming circles across his friend's back. "It oughta be enough. But like... people are complicated. You can love someone with all your heart, but that doesn't mean you'll work." Koa knows this better than most, for better or for worse.

"You just gotta talk to her - like, forreal. Tell her what you're feeling, and what you need. You're, like, a fuckin' catch. Lena knows that." He nods emphatically, his chin bumping into Zavien's shoulderblade.

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat

Zavien

Strike hands with me. The glass is brim.
The dew is on the heather.

Koa's response has him jolting in his seat, his beer sloshing a little as he tries to squint through the haze of alcohol at his friend. He doesn't want to die again, but logic doesn't really make sense when the thoughts all run together. It makes the scrunch of his eyes look a lot like confusion as he says, "Idunnoman. Dyin'kindasucked, but atleas'myheartdidn'thurt." Sure, he'd been torn almost literally in two, skewered like an appetizer on the yeti's claws, but there was something different about the living kind of pain that dug deeper and hurt more, reaching the soul without needing more than a stray thought. 

Clinging to Koa like his own desperation, he doesn't fight the hug and leans his forehead on the Dragoon's shoulder as he lets out a low, drunken groan. "I know...." Because relationships aren't set in stone, and as much of a victory it was to start dating, that didn't mean it gets any easier to stay dating. No matter how much one side wants to make things work, sometimes things just don't work out. Or as Koa says: they don't work. 

It's a terrifying thought that Zavien doesn't want to address, the idea that the person he loves might not be able to give him what he needs to feel loved in return. But he sucks at words, at explaining what emotional thing he thinks he needs - so even if 'talking' sounds like the perfect solution, he doesn't even know how to go about doing it. 

Another low groan leaves him, and he's lucky Koa's holding his limp form as he wallows. "I wish it wass tha' easy..."

And love is good, and life is long,
and friends are best together.

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

"Mine did!" Koa counters vehemently, giving Zavien a rattling shake to drive his point home. Even if he hadn't actually known until after the fact, the knowledge of his buddy's death had devastated the boy. "Hate t'break it t'you, sayin' you'd rather die and leave the rest of us t'mourn than go through a breakup is shellfish as fuck." There's no real judgment or animosity in it, and any insult is tempered by the verbal mixup of the crux, but beneath the drunken incoherent is a vein of iron truth. Zavien can't die, not again. Koa doesn't have the bandwidth to deal with that shit.

To his credit, Koa only sags a little as Zavien becomes an almost deadweight, still patting an irregular but reassuring beat on his friend's back. "Me too, man," he agrees dolefully. "Me too." And then, because his natural state is hype man, he pushes Zavien back a bit - holding onto his friends shoulders and grinning pushing a grin across his flushed face. "But at least we've got each other, and we are fucking great."

With a final emphatic shake he lets Zavien go, signaling as he does for a waitress to bring them water. Or more alcohol, dealer's choice. Whatever they're delivered, he'll push a glass over to Zavien and raise his own in cheers. "To bros," he declares, clinking their cups. "Girls might be wonderful and impossible and soft and crazy and complicated, but bros will always have your back." Gripping Zavien's shoulder once again, Koa peers earnestly into the Dragoon's handsome face. "I'll always be your bro, bro," he promises.

And that's the last thing he remembers super clearly, the rest of the night fading into a pleasant, booze-fueled blur.

[fin]

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat