[RQ] long live all the magic we made

Sohalia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

There was something not quite settled in the way Soh's shoulders hunched ever so slightly when she bent to pick up a scattering of small shells the size of her thumbnail. Maybe Flora was right. Maybe this was just Soh doing what she did best: falling without considering the potential disaster she was running headlong into. Maybe she should have asked more questions, been more hesitant. She didn't have all the answers. It was too early, too new, for her to think past her infatuation to find the facts.

And yet... she trusted Zavien. Inexplicably, perhaps, but she did.

Tucking away the shells, she turned a small smile to Flora. "I know you do," she said warmly, nudging her friend affectionately with a shoulder. "And I appreciate it. I know you just want what's best for me. I promise I'll be careful." It was the best she could offer, especially now, when everything that had seemed so obvious before had faded to grey in the cold drizzle of the rain.

As for a double date, Soh made a face. "Ugh, I was hoping that was all water under the bridge." Her brows pinched together, concern obvious on her face. Flora was her best friend; Kaisel was Flora's husband. To date Soh and dislike her friends... that was a potential problem. She sighed, kicking a stone across the sand. "I just... want this to be everything it feels like it is," she admitted, voice small. "It feels good, Flora. I don't want anything to mess it up."

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

Flora

Flora lets out a soft, breathy laugh, the sound curling warm against the damp air as she shakes her head, sending a few loose curls slipping free from her braid to cling lightly against her temple. "I don’t think you necessarily need to be careful," she says, the words easy but deliberate, her tone gentling rather than warning. She hesitates just long enough to find the shape of what she means, then glances sidelong at Soh with a grin that’s both teasing and entirely sincere. "I think you just need to..." She cuts herself off with a quiet laugh, nudging Soh lightly with her shoulder before continuing. "I know you haven’t always been treated like it, but you’re a catch, babe." Her brows lift emphatically as if to underline the point, her expression bright and unapologetic.

"You deserve more than someone just being nice and listening and being good in bed." The words come out lightly, but there’s something firmer beneath them, something that refuses to let Soh shrink herself into something smaller than she is. Flora snickers then, unable to resist softening the edge of it as she bumps her friend again. "I’m not saying that isn’t Zavien," she adds quickly, grin tilting a little sideways, "but so far, most of what you’ve said about him could apply to literally anyone who isn’t, like..Koa or Jack." The names land with a kind of casual irreverence, like they’ve been downgraded from something significant into something vaguely annoying and no longer worth reverence.

She exhales dramatically after a moment, though the grin she flashes Soh takes the weight out of it. "I thought it was too," she says of the rodeo and Zavien's continued anger, one shoulder lifting in a small shrug. "He apologized to me, so I figured that was that, especially since it was ages ago now." 

Her gaze flicks back to Soh, softer this time, more understanding than teasing as the conversation shifts again. "No, I get that," Flora says quietly with a nod, before she slows slightly, her attention drifting toward the shoreline before returning to Soh, her expression thoughtful now, edged with something more personal. "But you’ve seen what it’s like when you don’t have to try so hard to make everything perfect," she continues, her voice steady even as something deeper moves beneath it. "When I was with Jack, I was always trying. Like, constantly. Trying to say the right thing, do the right thing, not be annoying, not be too much.." Her mouth twists slightly, a crooked, self-aware frown pulling at the corner of her lips as she glances briefly at Soh.

"Looking back, it’s so obvious how fucked up that was," she says, the words lighter than the thought behind them. Then she shrugs, one shoulder lifting as if to shake it off. "But I do get it. I get wanting to hold onto something that feels good, by making sure nothing could ever possibly knock it off balance." Her smile returns, softer now but no less certain. "But I just promise you," she adds, nudging Soh again, gentler this time, "when it’s the right person, even the imperfect, annoying, messy bits end up being part of what makes it feel right. You don’t have to smooth everything out for it to work."

There's somethin' warm about the winter when you come around
there's nothin' boujee 'bout you cozy as a hand me down

Code stolen from Queen Sky

Sohalia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

It was rare that talking to Flora made her feel worse instead of better, but this was one of those times. She listened to her best friend with a small crease in her brow, frowning at the sand as she searched for more shells to tuck away. It wasn't that she was upset with Flora, it was just that she wasn't sure she agreed with what she was saying. And yet, at the same time, a little voice in the back of her mind couldn't help but point out every question or comment that Flora had made and say, See? I told you so. If it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Or maybe that was just her fear, clinging on so tightly to the narrative that she wasn't good enough, that she couldn't help but mess things up.

The thing was, she wasn't sure she could tell the difference.

So she stayed silent, mulling it all over, as they continued to stride down the beach, linking arms with Flora to assure her friend that she wasn't mad, just... thoughtful. Flora made it sound like she was the catch, like Zavien was the lucky one here, but in reality? Soh thought it might just be the other way around.

Things at the rodeo troubled her, too, but she wasn't sure how to even begin to process that information, not without being able to ask Zavien about it. So she gnawed on her lip as she stooped to pick up a few shell shards. They weren't whole, but Soh hardly thought that mattered; the pieces were still beautiful, and they could still be useful in their own way. (And yes, dear reader, that is a metaphor.)

"But what if I do have to smooth things out?" Soh asked, lifting worried grey eyes to search Flora's. "Not because of anything Zavien's said or done, but... because all I manage to do is ruin what's good before it even has a chance to start. You remember what happened with Jude and Koa." Wincing, she tried not to cringe at the memory. "And I know Koa made some mistakes later, but it all started with what I did wrong." What if she did the same thing this time?

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

Flora

Flora feels it before Soh even says anything, that quiet shift in her, like the way the air changes just before a wave breaks. It’s subtle—just a slight tightening, a softness turning inward—but Flora’s known her too long not to recognise it. Her smile fades a touch at the edges, not disappearing so much as settling into something gentler, more careful. She nudges Soh lightly with her shoulder. "Hey," she says softly, her voice easing into something more deliberate. "I don’t mean to rain on your parade." Her mouth quirks, a small, apologetic smile pulling at one corner. "If you’re happy, I’m happy for you," she adds, the sincerity in it immediate and unguarded. "But I’d be a shit friend if I didn’t say anything."

Her gaze lingers on Soh for a moment, soft but steady, before her expression brightens just a fraction with fondness. "I’d way rather you come back and rub it in my face that everything’s perfect and that I was way off base," she says with a quiet laugh, "than watch you get hurt again and wish I’d said something."

She bends then, scooping up a few scattered shell fragments, turning them thoughtfully between her fingers before dropping them into the basket with a soft, uneven clatter. When she straightens, her lips press together briefly, shaping her thoughts before she lets them out. "Okay," she says, glancing sideways at Soh, her tone shifting into something more considered. "Let me put it this way." She exhales lightly, shoulders lifting and falling in a small shrug. "Things with Kai have always been amazing, but that doesn’t mean they’ve always been easy. We’ve been through some really messed up shit already, mostly because of Jack, but also just..Life. Running Torchline, drama with my family and friends.. Her mouth twists faintly, not quite a smile.

"There’ve been times I’ve completely come unglued," she continues, not shying away from it, "times I wasn’t on his side when I should’ve been, times I absolutely was not my best self." She glances at Soh then, her expression open, unguarded in a way that isn’t often visible beneath her usual sparkle. "And you know what?" she says quietly. "It didn’t break anything. If anything, it made us stronger. Because at the end of the day, it was still us. But if something had broken, if he'd walked away or if he made me feel like I was walking on eggshells I'd have known it wasn't right." She lets that sit for a moment before her head tilts slightly, her gaze intent but gentle.

"I know the instinct is to protect something good, especially at the beginning," she goes on, softer now, "to keep it in this perfect little bubble where nothing can touch it." Her nose wrinkles faintly. "But that’s exhausting. And it means you don’t get to actually be yourself." Her shoulder brushes Soh’s again, lighter this time. "And it also means it never really gets stronger," she adds. "Because strength doesn’t come from everything being perfect, it comes from seeing what happens when it’s not, and choosing each other anyway."

There's somethin' warm about the winter when you come around
there's nothin' boujee 'bout you cozy as a hand me down

Code stolen from Queen Sky

Sohalia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

The thing was, Soh was less concerned about herself being hurt and more concerned about hurting Zavien. When she looked back on past relationships, all she could see was the wrong she had done; why should this be any different? Still, Flora's soothing words smoothed over some of the jagged edges of Soh's heart. "It's not that I don't appreciate it," she assured her friend, silver gaze flicking affectionately to Flora's face. "It's just... I guess I feel a little blinded, not to have asked some of these questions already. To be diving in without really... thinking, I guess." And wasn't that the reason for half of her problems?

She bit her lower lip, considering. "The thing is... nothing ever felt like it just... aligned, before. With Jude, I never should have dated him in the first place - we were better as friends than as more. And with Koa, it was always back and forth and back and forth. None of it was easy, so... maybe I'm just, you know, embracing it a little too much." So much so that she hadn't questioned Zavien's actions, that she hadn't questioned her own motivations, that she hadn't stopped to consider consequences and ramifications that could hurt Zavien - or, for that matter, that could break her own heart all over again.

And maybe all of this was for nothing. Maybe she'd come back to Flora one day with a smug little smile and an I told you so. There was still hope buried beneath all the questions, and Soh was going to cling to that for all she was worth.

So she listened as Flora continued, trying to internalize the message that things didn't have to be perfect to be good. "I think that's one thing I appreciated about Zavien," she mused thoughtfully. "When we woke up, and I thought he regretted sleeping with me - he was so quick to reassure me, and it made me feel like I could really talk to him. I didn't feel like I had to walk on eggshells or keep my feelings to myself." A small, shy smile played on her lips. "I know that's not exactly what you mean, but I was fully prepared to have to pretend I was fine, that it could be a one-time thing and I'd be okay with that, but... he was open and honest about his feelings, and it made me feel like I could be, too." Shaking her head, she glanced over at Flora again. "That... probably sounds like the bare minimum. But to me, it just... said a lot." It told her that the potential was there, even if the details hadn't been ironed out yet.

A seafoam green shell caught Soh's eye, and she dipped to pick it up and tuck it away in her basket. She'd never had a relationship that was strong, never been able to really be herself. When she and Jude had started dating, she'd had to wrap up all of the parts of them that had been best friends, trading them in for a sham of a relationship. She'd loved him, but not in the right ways. And with Koa... well, we all know how that turned out. She could only love Koa for so long before the lack of reciprocation wore away even the best of intentions.

Now she had a fresh start, and she was determined to make the most of it. "I hear you," she said quietly. "I just really think there's the potential for something special with Zavien. I think we deserve to see where it goes." And maybe that was enough for now.

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

Flora

Flora’s mouth curves into a knowing grin, the expression brightening as Soh talks, something in the way she's speaking about Zavien finally settling into a shape Flora can recognise; less about the glow of being wanted, and more about the quiet relief of being understood. She huffs out a soft laugh, nudging Soh lightly with her shoulder. "Good sex can absolutely do that to a person," she says, the words easy and teasing, before her grin sharpens just a touch. "Which is why I'm here to pull your head out of the clouds a little bit." The nudge that follows is gentler, more affectionate than corrective, her tone never quite losing that thread of warmth beneath the humour.

As Soh mentions Jude and Koa, Flora’s expression shifts, softening into something more dismissive of the past than critical of Soh herself. She gives a small shrug, flicking a glance toward her friend. "Don’t be too hard on yourself," she says. "You were way younger, and they were both idiots." A truly lethal combination. Her lips quirk faintly before she adds, more thoughtfully, "And Zavien’s older than us, right? So I wouldn’t expect him to act like Koa or Jude did when they were basically teenagers." Flora wasn't entirely sure that was true given his grudge against Kaisel, but hey, she could try for optimism.

She bends to snag another shell, this one a soft pearlescent green, turning it briefly in her fingers before dropping it into the basket. When she straightens, her gaze slides back to Soh, her smile returning. "Next time you start feeling like you have to make everything perfect just remember that moment. That you could actually talk to him, and he didn’t freak out or pull away. That it made you feel better, not worse."

Her grin returns then, bright and beaming. "I think there’s something there too," she says with a small nod.

There's somethin' warm about the winter when you come around
there's nothin' boujee 'bout you cozy as a hand me down

Code stolen from Queen Sky

Sohalia

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

There were still questions that Soh needed to answer; that couldn't be denied. But as the conversation shifted to something that felt less critical and more supportive, Soh found herself relaxing back into her excitement. Maybe her head was in the clouds a little bit, but so what? She was happy in a blissful and completely unexpected way, and somehow that made it even better. No more waiting and watching and hoping - just moving forward with someone new, someone who would treat her right.

As the two women continued down the dreary beach, Soh felt something light and bouyant settle in her chest. Nudging Soh with her shoulder, she shot her friend a smile. "Thanks, Flora," she said softly, all of her vulnerability and uncertainty coalescing into gratefulness for someone who cared about her and her happiness as much as Flora did. "Now," Soh said, peering around. "Let's get some more shells!"

fin

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night
And now I see daylight, I only see daylight