[o] through heaven's eyes

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

"Oh, you know," Maea replied, waving a hand in vague reference to the stars. "Sometimes a constellation has a story tied to it, right? My brother called them star tales when we were young. He loved them, but I usually preferred the sad or scary stories."

Rolling her head aside as far as she could before her horns caught against the floor, Maea offered Sohalia a grin as she joined the stargazing on the floor. "Now, what we really lack is a blanket, and maybe a picnic basket," she giggled; it could have been a perfect date, given more planning and some actual intent.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

”I didn’t hear many stories growing up,” Soh admitted. ”I was very sheltered until I left the Grounds.” Her parents had died when she was so very young, and her guardian after their passing hadn’t been the most affectionate sort. Where most children were likely tucked into bed with a tale and a kiss goodnight, Soh had largely been left to her own devices.

Soh hadn’t thought about her guardian in some time, and the sudden reminder brought an ache to her chest. She’d loved them - she still did, really - but she had to admit now that she was also scarred because of them. That there were pieces of herself she’d never get back because of her upbringing. But, fortunately, Maea seemed to be in a good enough mood for the both of them, and her giggle was infectious. Soh put thoughts of Auden out of her mind. It was no good to linger on the past, anyway.

”That could be arranged,” Soh said with a grin. ”The market’s not far. If you want, I can go get something.”

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

It was a kind offer, and Maea hesitated only a brief moment before deciding to accept it. The evening was young still and the had nothing urgent to wake up for anyway.
"I'll come with you," she decided with a smile, already pushing up on elbows so as to view Sohalia properly. "Once we're comfortable I can tell you some of the stories I grew up with. I remember a fair few - if you'd like to hear them? I realize it's a bit out of the blue."

It was so easy to get carried away. Easy to forget they weren't old friends or actually shared a relation even though common friends would suggest there be one. Maea was in such a good mood though that such things seemed less relevant than usual. As long as she didn't make the other woman uncomfortable, she would be more than happy wiling away some hours on stargazing and childs tales.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Maea was nice. Despite Soh’s earlier reservations regarding her leadership and what the future might hold, she had settled into an easy conversation with the Ancient without a second thought. Under the cover of night, it was simple to forget that all that she held dear was under threat from the Family, that she was no closer to reclaiming her crown than ever before, and that Vi’s Roses had thus far proven to be elusive at best. For tonight, she decided, she would relax and listen to some stories. Gods knew she could use a break from her own thoughts for a while.

So she pushed herself up into a seated position with a smile. ”What kinds of things do you like?” she asked, standing and dusting off her clothes. ”There are all kinds of things in the market. I was surprised by the variety when I first came to the Greatwood, but there’s actually an abundance of things here.” Since Soh wasn’t picky, she’d let Maea lead the way on choosing snacks and beverages for what was rapidly beginning to look like a sleepover.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

Mulling over the samples she had seen throughout the Bodega so far, Maea hummed thoughtfully. "Something warm to drink would be nice, and fruit if they have any. And what about pies? There are those small finger food ones, with all kinds of fillings..." Offering several suggestions as they made their way back down the stairs, Maea thought it a pleasant way to round off the day. The lack of success in her search for roses was compensated by the find of a new acquaintance, one she looked forward to learning more about as the night wore on.

Later, after they had brought blankets, pillows, a basket filled with food and drink and all the assorted utensils one might need to be comfortable back up into the Observatory, the Ancient reclined against a pile of cushions and sipped from her goblet of mulled wine with a look of contentment. Having fetched her cloak while they were gathering up their desires, she finally felt warm enough and had busied herself over the past few minutes regailing Sohalia with the story of the queen that became a sparkbird to save her daughter from a dark curse.

"... and that's why the sparkbird was said to come back to the Hollowed Ground in times of need; to save the descendants of her beloved daughter, and aid the kingdom that had once been hers. Whether there's any truth to it, who can say? But the sparkbird did in fact appear, one LongNight more than ten years ago - I saw it with my own eyes. So who is to say there isn't a grain of truth to the legend..."
Falling silent with a mysterious smile, she had another sip from the warm brew.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

The pair made their selections quickly and procured not only food and drink, but pillows and blankets as well, and eventually found themselves back atop the observatory, stretched out beneath the stars. Maea was an excellent storyteller, and Soh was content, for a while, to sit propped against pillows, a blanket over her lap, holding a steaming mug of hot cocoa in hand. A half-eaten hand pie sat beside her - apple, her favorite - and her gaze was fixed not on the sky above, but on Maea, who had enthralled her with the story of the sparkbird.

When she’d finished, Soh settled back against her pillows with a sigh, sipping at the cocoa and replaying parts of the story that she’d particularly liked in her mind. ”Do you think the legends are true?” Soh asked after a moment, curiosity sparking in her silver gaze. There was enough mystery in Maea’s countenance that the young woman couldn’t help but ask, enchanted by the possibility.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

Thinking back to the LongNight when the sparkbird had flown in through the darkness to protect them all with its fiery presence, Maea hummed softly, deep in thought. It had been a magical sight, and a true wonder. To see a legend come true, and feel safe in the night for the first time in her life, it had changed her life forever. Why had it come? Was it a blessing, or a curse, and why had that same Bird later gone insane and set the same place on fire?

"I would like to believe there's some truth to it," she replied eventually. "A mother protecting her children makes as much sense as any other reason - and it would be nice to think that it was not always alone. That it had a family once, and was loved, even though they did not see a happy ever after." Thinking of her own family and the foundation of love, determination and strength they comprised in who she had grown into, Maea thought it made sense. No one sacrificed like the people who had known love. None other could, because it took love to comprehend loss and to summon the strength needed to do anything – whatever it took – to defend against it.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Love was one emotion that Sohalia could never quite decide what to do with. She either had it in spades, or she’d never experienced it, and she couldn’t figure out which was the truth. In many ways, she loved deeply, truly, far beyond that which would be expected of her. But in others, she didn’t know what love really was, had yet to fully grasp the reality of it.

Parental love, she’d perhaps experienced when she was very small, and then again with Harper before he’d died. Friendship, she had in abundance - Tal, and Flora, and many others, too. Romantic love, though… well, we all know how that’s turned out for poor Soh.

In any case, she turned her head to regard Maea, tilting her head to one side. ”I thought all stories were supposed to have a happy ending,” she teased, but there was a longing beneath her words that spoke to her own distant desires.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

"Depends on the story," Maea shrugged, her return smile amused as it was thoughtful. "Depends on how you frame it. Take this tale of the Sparkbird; it can be a horror story about a curse and an evil mage that turn the queen into a monster. It can be a love story between the princess and the knight sworn to protect her. It could be a tragedy, a moral lesson, a discussion on statecraft and duty... Seen from the perspective of a servant or soldier or maybe a cook, it could even be a comedy as they have to keep serving despite crazy royals wreaking havoc on their everyday lives."

Setting aside the cup she slumped deeper into the pillows and turned her gaze upwards, to the gasping, wavering light of the stars. They seemed eternal from her point of view, but were they really? Did they waver, or did it just seem like it because too many things lay between here and there, that her eyes simply couldn't perceive?

"What does happily ever after look like to you?" It was an idle musing, not perhaps as intimate as the question could be under different curcumstances. "I'm sure answer is different for the knight, the princess, the queen... even for the mage."

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Even if Maea hadn’t meant it as an intimate question, that was certainly how it came across to Soh, especially after the Ancient’s musings about different endings. Soh herself had always been interested in romantic tales where the knight married the princess and they all lived happily ever after, but she had also grown enough to know that that wasn’t always reality. What a happy ending looked like to her had varied over the years, and even now she wasn’t entirely sure. Was it down to what she wanted, or getting what she needed? Was there even a difference, if the end result was the same?

”I think… a happily ever after requires happiness,” Soh said slowly, tilting her own head back upon the pillows to gaze at the stars high above. ”Not just… passing joy, but a true, deep, unshakeable happiness. Maybe it starts with being happy with yourself instead of relying on other people or things.” And while she hadn’t meant to sound particularly wise, she rather thought that she might be onto something, for even with all her experiences in life, she couldn’t say that she was particularly happy - and she thought that came down to not liking who she was at her core.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

Humming thoughtfully, Maea turned that notion over in her own head, tasting the thoughts it brought on. In large parts she agreed, it was a sentiment she shared.
"Someone told me recently that happiness is a constant work in progress," she replied. "A choice you have to make over and over again. Lately, I have been thinking that contentment is closer to true happiness. Not the incandescent moments where everything is perfect, but rather that sense of peace within that some seem to have, that let them rise back up again when they stumble. I don't even know what to call it. Acceptance? Self worth? Security?"

Whatever that inner peace was called, Maea wanted it. She had come searching for it as she searched for roses, and thought she may have glimpsed its semblance in the hazel eyes of a soldier. Perhaps, if she lingered long enough beneath these trees and these wavering stars, she might learn something about happiness she had not known before.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Happiness had long been an elusive concept for Soh. She'd left the Hollowed Grounds all those years ago to find it and had only managed to make herself more miserable in the process. Oh, sure, there were moments where she had been blindly, blissfully happy - but it had always come to an end, most commonly by her own hand.

"That's good advice," Soh mused aloud. She'd never thought of happiness as a choice, but rather as something she would one day find. Maybe she'd been chasing something that didn't really exist except for within - and if that was true, it meant she had a lot of self-reflection to do. "Do you think anybody ever finds happiness, or contentment, or whatever we want to call it?"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //

Turning a gentle smile onto the Luminary, Maea nodded. "I think so, yes. I saw it in my brother, once he settled with his family. In my father too, as he tended our farm. Even though he grieved for my mother for years, he found peace in tending the sheep and working the orchard. I think he found much comfort in his faith; he was very devout, and a staunch follower of Frey. Even if he had lived to see the barrier fall, I doubt that he would have left. That farm was everything he'd ever wanted."

Perosnally, Maea had only seen glimpses of that serenity, usually while elbow deep into a project or research. She looked forward to recapturing that frame of mind; though exactly in what way, shape or form it would manifest, she had yet to figure out.
"Do you think it might be a bit like those stories? It's the same tale, yet the flavor changes with the narrative. Maybe if we decided that our lives were better off as adventurses or romances instead of horror or tragedies...?" Maybe if they reframed the tale, they might both find themselves a little closer to what they wished for.

Maea

// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Sohalia had not been as fortunate as Maea, and so she was forced to take the Ancient’s word for it that happiness - true happiness, the contentment of a life well lived - existed in the world. In her short life, she’d yet to see it for herself, so perhaps it was understandable that it was difficult to imagine.

Soh shifted, lifting her arms above her head and lacing her fingers behind her neck. ”Maybe,” she said. ”I just wish I knew how to do that.” It was a deeper admission than she’d intended, laced with a longing so deep it hurt. What would it be like, to know what one’s life truly was, to be able to control the narrative in so profound a way?

Perhaps one day, she would figure it out.

fin

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia