[o] [SE] sins, like skeletons, are so very hard to hide

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

It wasn't easy, living with the loss of his wife and daughter. It was a burden that Liam carried every day, forever wondering if he could have done something differently and saved them. If he'd been there for them rather than doing his duty for Stormbreak, could he have protected them, or would he have simply shared in their fate?

He'd never know now.

Clearing his throat, Liam reached up to rub the back of his neck, a clear sign of his discomfort. It had been so long that it was always difficult to accept others' condolences, their response to his losses reopening wounds as fresh as the day they were made. "I'm sorry about your brother," he said, sincere and gentle in his response. "It's not easy, losing the ones we love. For a long time, I thought if I ran from it, it would help, but the pain never really fades." Some days were easier than others, but there were times when Liam couldn't breathe even now, reliving the moment he'd realized they were gone.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he shook his head. "Someone once told me that the only way to honor their memories is to talk about them," he said, smiling ruefully. Perhaps one day he would be able to live by that advice, but for now... "I'm afraid I'm not very practiced at it, though. I've been in the Greatwood all this time, as everyone but the Fae left, so I've become a bit of a hermit."

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

It did feel strange to hear the kindness in the dragoon's voice. It wasn't something she was used to anymore, save from a select few people, but it was gratifying - and a good piece of advice to speak of those who had passed. "I have not thought about it that way," Maea said thoughtfully. "It might be a skill to practice, just like any other. Like letting lose and relaxing... that isn't something I've done a lot of lately."

Leaning down to snatch up a dry stick from the ground, she peeled it absently as they spoke. "Do you think it easier or harder to speak about them with a stranger? I would offer to listen... if you're comfortable with it." Given that they'd known each other for a bare half hour, they couldn't be more unfamiliar - despite sharing a lot of life experiences.

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Letting loose and relaxing was not a skill that Liam had in abundance, either; the last time he had done either would have been... gods, before his family had died. Even when he'd spent time with Phoebe, it had been as a shadow of his former self. Back then, he'd laughed easily and loved fiercely, and after, it seemed he no longer knew how to do either.

Liam paused, thinking. He wasn't accustomed to baring his soul to strangers, but it seemed like as good an idea as any, so he nodded. "I don't know that you being a stranger would make it easier or harder," he admitted. "But if you're willing to listen..." He trailed off, suddenly unsure and perhaps a bit self-conscious. He hadn't talked about his family in so long that he wasn't sure he remembered how, so used to holding their memories close to his chest that he no longer knew how to release his hold on their ghosts.

"Before the Ascended attack on Stormbreak, I had a wife and two children," he said after a moment. "They were... everything to me." To Liam, his family had been the reason the sun rose in the east and set in the west, and without them, everything felt off-kilter. "Mara was... light, and love, and fun. She was the type of person who always knew what to say or do to make someone laugh. She never met a stranger. I always admired that about her." Liam ran a hand through his hair. Sometimes it was hard to believe it had been years, he could see her so clearly in his mind. Others, he could hardly remember what she looked like.

"My kids - Maven and Wren - were the best parts of us. Wren was just like my wife. She was the youngest, but she was fearless." He chuckled. "I remember one time, she tried to climb the big tree behind the house, and when she got to the top, she just yelled, 'Catch me!' and jumped." He'd scolded her that day, even though he'd been there to catch her. "Maven was quieter, but so smart. She was always at the top of her classes. She really would have been something, if..."

Liam trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly self-conscious. "Sorry, I... it's been a while since I talked about them." And even though Maea had offered, it still felt strange to share.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

Letting the imagery he conjured wash over her, Maea didn't find it awkward at all. She did not know their faces, so in her mind's eye the wife took on a semblance of her sister-in-law, while the children became nieces and nephews, adored and loved more fully than she'd ever loved herself.

Blinking slowly as if awakened from a revery, Maea smiled gently at Liam. "I can tell they were good people, from the way you describe them. I hope Ludo will bless you with a visit, some day." Strolling in silence for a while, she added, "Did you know that Remi can communicate with the departed? If you were to have any messages for them, perhaps he would pass it along."

She had been given such chances in the past. A dance with a brother on a Flowerbirth eve, the difficult but necessary message passed along by a specter - and the equally painful assurance from Mort's Herald that Amun was missing, but not yet dead. Talking about the lost loved ones was good; talking to them might just be the thing that released guilt and allowed you to start moving forward again.

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

"Thank you," Liam rumbled, no less genuine for the embarrassment that had overtaken him at how long he'd been speaking. "I didn't know that about Remi. I haven't met him personally." But perhaps it was something to keep in mind, for future hopes. He wondered if it would bring him some semblance of closure, to be able to pass on a message in that way. If being able to tell them that he loved them and that he was sorry would lessen the guilt that still burdened him to this day.

Turning his attention to Maea, he offered a smile. It was difficult to speak of his family, but he did feel lighter to have shared their memories with someone else, even if she was a stranger. "If you'd like to talk about your brother, I'd like to know about him," Liam offered, hoping that he could return the favor.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

[Remi is a kind man. We've known each other for a long time, but it's only recently that we've gotten close. He lives in Torchline these days, in case you ever want to seek him out." It would be his decision entirely; she was happy with leaving it at that, wary of getting too involved - Liam was not some broken thing for her to fix.

Finding the tables turned on her, Maea returned his smile and ran her fingers through the long hair, scratching lazily at the scalp. "His name is Amun," she murmured, "and he's technically adopted family. We didn't get along at all at first, kept arguing about things like right and wrong..." She hesitated, unsure of Liam's loyalties these days. "He was... an Ascended. Is, still, unless he's found his way to Dygra. But even so, he is far kinder and more open minded than I've ever been. Generous, patient; I've lost track of how many times he hauled me back from dark places and made it worth it to keep going."

Pulling the mane of white strands over a shoulder, she combed it through, detangling snarls while watching Liam from the side. Wary, in case he wasn't the forgiving kind. Technically they had been on opposing signs of the war.

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

To hear the Mara’s brother was an Ascended gave Liam pause. Perhaps there was a time when he’d have blamed any Ascended for his family’s death, but that time had long since passed. War was messy and ugly and raw, and the people fighting it didn’t always have a choice in who their enemies were. To hold past loyalties against a man he didn’t even know - and who sounded like a good person, if Maea’s story was to be believed - was not something Liam would be able to live with.

So he merely listened, offering Maea the same courtesy she had shown him. ”He sounds like a good man,” he said. ”I hope that, one day, you will find him again.” And that time had been kind to him, wherever he was.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

What she intended as a slow intake of breath sounded more like a gasp of relief. Even Maea hadn't fully realized how tensely she'd waited for the verdict, but the difference as those slender looking shoulders collapsed in on themselves spoke volumes. Lightheaded from relief, this time her smile lit up her whole being, gratitude for... well for not being stunned, for her brother to be thought well of, for the past truly being allowed to stay buried bringing on a lightness she hadn't felt in years.

"Thank you," she told him earnestly, braving the distance between them to brush her fingertips lightly against his sleeve. "It's true... it really does feel better to talk about him. Like, suddenly I'm not the only thing to keep him alive anymore."

Up ahead, a large tree had fallen across the path. Upon reaching it, Maea slumped down to dit on a hurting sidebranch, offering an apologetic wave of a hand. "Sorry, I think I need a moment." Not physically, but to collect herself again; for some reason her emotions were turning all off kilter.

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

Whatever he’d expected from Maea’s reaction, a smile that lit up her entire being wasn’t it. But there it was all the same, shining brightly in the relative gloom of the forest, and he couldn’t help but return the gesture. ”I’m glad,” he said. ”Maybe that’s the point - so that we don’t have to carry their memories alone.” Now that they’d both shared a little about their families, it was true: Liam didn’t feel quite so much like a hermit hidden away in the depths of the Greatwood, and Maea, it seemed, felt similarly.

As the Ancient slumped down upon the fallen tree, Liam leaned against it as well, stretching his legs out in front of him as he waited patiently for Maea to recover. In truth, it would be nice to sit for a moment, to turn his face into the sun and remember that this was what it felt like to live. Making connections had been his wife’s specialty. Maybe continuing to do so in her name was a way to pay homage to her, even after all this time.

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

Their silence was companionable, filled by the ambiance of the forest. A wind was passing through the boughs above their heads, whispering secrets to swelling buds and the withered husks of last years leaves. In the blue shade beneath an evergreen, Maea spotted a moldering pile of snow that sunlight had yet to melt. The air was fresh, bordering on cold, and despite the many layers of clothing she longed for a fire to thaw her stiff fingers by.

As time trickled past, her mind regained equilibrium. No longer quite so close to tears, her thoughts returned to the reason why they were out here, and the sobering lack of red and goldupon the landscape. 
"Doesn't look like there are any roses around here," she murmured after a while. "How long... do you think you'll come along for?" Should she expect a day trip, a week of company, or was this a 'until the task is done' sort of thing? Turning her head to watch the profile of the former dragoon, she had to admit he wasn't bad company, and that she wouldn't mind if the quest proved a longer one. Though, that in itself was... concerning. It ought to take far longer than this before a stranger made her care either way.

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark

Who was it that led you on
And makes you want to hurt me so?

They sat in silence for a while, and Liam was content to take in the sounds of the forest. It was one of the reasons he had yet to leave the Greatwood; its natural beauty appealed to some primal part of him that longed for greenery over the cold stone of the city. Nothing in Stormbreak could come close to the Greatwood’s splendor, no matter how much he loved his home.

After a while, Maea spoke quietly, and Liam stood from where he leaned against the fallen tree. ”There are plenty of other parts of the Wildwood we could check,” he offered. Then, seriously, he added, ”I’ll help until you tell me otherwise.” Maea was good company, and he was comfortable around her in a way that he wasn’t with many others. Perhaps it was their shared loss that made him feel like she was easier to talk to than those who hadn’t experienced what he had. ”If that’s alright with you.”

Who do you want to forget?
Who forgot you long ago?

Liam

Maea

I see you when you chase
All the dreams inside your head

Was that a twinge of relief? Nah, couldn't be. But she was glad, that much Maea could admit. As Liam stood she followed suite and nodded her acceptance with a warm smile. "It is. Stay as long as you like, and leave whenever you wish. It's been quiet so far, but do keep an eye out in case we run into any void creatures. Though," she amended with a respectful nod of her head, "I doubt you need that kind of warning." The dragoons she'd met in the past had all been good and capable people, perfectly able to take care of themselves.

Brushing bark from the seat of her dress, Maea began to scale the fallen trunk that barred their path forward. Headed for a part of the Greatwood she hadn't seen before, she looked ahead with renewed excitement. For the first time in a while it wasn't simply a chore to search for Vi's Roses; with a companion at her side it felt more and more like a proper adventure, the kind she had dreamed about as a child.

She wondered if Liam would be the type to laugh if she ever told him that. It was going to be interesting to find out.

[FIN]

I see you when you laugh
And when you love until the bitter end

Table by Skylark