It's coming down to nothing more than apathy

It's only the barest balm against his own guilt, but it's something. Harper reaches out to gently touch her hand, though he is careful not to linger too long. This dance feels all too similar to the days after he'd rejected her and they had danced uncomfortably around one another, trying to be friends without anything more coming to pass. [say]"It wasn't your fault either."[/say]

It's a smoother transition to skip over the rest of the talk, no matter how hard it is for Harper to sit with his own memories and desires that would now likely never come to pass. No dark haired, blue-eyed girl to pull on his pant legs or shoot him a toothless smile. It makes his chest twinge painfully, making it hard to catch up to Phoebe's sudden radiance and excitement. [say]"I think I have actually, though Jude called her Soh, not Sohalia, so I didn't put it together until just now."[/say] Chuckling at himself, he palms his face, chiding himself for not putting two and two together. [say]"He's in an awkward age group now with so many lost during the war and now so many new babies coming after. I hope he'll be okay making older or younger friends."[/say]

His assurance feels hollow even though she is certain he believes it. She just wasn't fully ready to embrace it, her own guilt weighing her down. But like he said, she had to let it go eventually. This was just the start of self forgiveness.

Now it was her turn to smile at Harper reassuringly. [say]"I am sure he will. He has your agreeableness. I am certain he will have many friends in no time."[/say] she said with a warm smile. He already had an older friend in the form of a brother after all. All he needed now was time and encouragement.

But the morning was drawing to a close and she ought to get out of Harper's hair. [say]"I should probably get going though. The sky boat back leaves soon."[/say] she said as she stood. With delicate fingers she brought her plate over to the sink where it could be washed whenever Harper felt like it. [say]"Thank you...for talking with me. I think it was good for us both."[/say] she said with a small smile.

Harper barks a laugh at that, because Jude is certainly likable, but - [say]"Just need to get him to accept that extroversion now!"[/say] The boy was stubbornly soft-spoken and shy, and while Harper loved every facet of his son, he often wondered if it was their fault for splitting his home life in two that had made him so reserved.

Glancing at the clock in the kitchen and realizing she's right, Harper hops off the table and stands a little awkwardly as Phoebe puts her plate in the sink, uncertain how best to say goodbye with these new lines they were only just starting to draw between each other. [say]"I think it was good too. I'm glad we can...get back to being friends."[/say] Smiling, he gives her a quick hug so he can stop overthinking it, and walks her to the door. [say]"Give my love to Jude, okay?"[/say] Harper always gave it when the boy left, but he wouldn't pass up the opportunity for a reminder. Shutting the door behind her, Harper leans his forehead against it for an indeterminable amount of time.

He has a lot to think about.

- Fin!