the whole world ran for cover

melita

and she recklessly plays with matches

Melita had a long time to think on her flight home. About death. About foolishness. About admitting something had been preposterous and borderline insane. In fact, the ride was mostly silent, with just the wind whipping about her ears, uncertain if she should cry in relief or recklessness, grateful that in the end, they were all alive.

Save for one.

For Sascha’s heroic sacrifice, she didn’t leave the little ursur behind. It would’ve been beyond cruel to strand him amidst the damned yeti, as if he didn’t matter. She’d taken the time to wrap him in some fine cloth she’d found in Halo; ceremonial and pretty – and then pondered over leaving a note with him.

In the end, she found out where Alys lived, and unfortunately Talyson as well, and opted not to bang on the door or knock or anything else. It wasn’t worth it. Instead, once she’d landed the Firecracker, she sighed, lifting the little parcel out of the skyboat and carrying it over, intending to leave him gently on the doorstep.

and i'm still waiting for a life that never was

Even a few days later, it was still hard to breathe.

She'd cried all the tears she had to cry and then some. There was nothing left inside her but misery, and pain, and guilt that she hadn't been able to save the creature who had been the other half of her soul.

Being around others - even Tal - was too hard. As much as Alys loved Boreal, the dragon was just a reminder of what Alys had lost in the tundra.

She’d spent the last few days in the home she shared with her partner, sitting in a chair by the fireplace, staring at the wall. Tal had built the fire up, but when he’d left on a delivery run, Alys had let it burn out. It was too much effort to even stoke the flames. Not when she was here, alive, and Sascha was dead, probably buried somewhere up north beneath the snow.

She couldn’t bear to think of it.

She wasn’t sure how she’d ended up outside, but she was sitting under a tree near the house when Melita arrived. It took her a few moments to recognize the woman - not because she didn’t know her, but because her mind was so far away that her identity didn’t register. And when it did, Alys felt sick. She hadn’t been prepared to face Melita - nor any of their group - for a long while.

She rose - rather ungracefully - from the ground beneath the tree and made her way towards the porch without even realizing she was moving. ”Melita?” she said as she stepped up on the wood. ”What… what is this?”

Alys

melita

and she recklessly plays with matches

Melita had been hoping no one was around, truthfully. Witnessing another’s tumultuous emotions was not on her agenda today, especially when her own were such a mixed, mercurial conflagration, daring between victorious edges and a long line of defeated fringes. So she grimaced, inwardly, as she heard Alys approach, closing her eyes for a moment and steeling herself for something. Rage, maybe. Anger was easier for her to understand and be consumed by, than the overbearing mourning portions of sadness.

She gently carried the bundle and stayed stock still with it, glancing down at the cloth, and then back to the Abandoned. “Oh, um. I brought back your companion.” Wondering now if that was too harsh, and it would’ve been so much easier to simply place him down and run for the hills, she realized it was far too late for those options now anyway. “I thought you might want to um…bury him or - ,” whatever ritual she followed, she guessed. “If you don’t though, I can take him somewhere else.”

Pausing, and unsure of what else to add, she simply utilized information she could share. "The Tundra has been cleansed, and Zavien's alive again. My uncle saved him."

and i'm still waiting for a life that never was

Maybe later, in another place and another time, Alys would be angry. But right now, there was only devastation.

Melita glanced at the bundle in her arms, then spoke words that Alys hadn’t expected. The world spun and she placed a hand against the wall of the house, leaning on its solidity for support. Fresh grief welled up in her chest, choking her, and her eyes filled with tears. Sascha was here. She was dead, but she was here. She was home, where she had slept and run and played with Boreal.

Where she would be buried.

She tried to tear her eyes from the limp companion, but failed; she reached out shaking hands, accepting the bundle from Melita. ”Thank you,” she managed to choke out in a whisper, holding her companion close to her chest. Alys would have to bury the little ursur, but for right now, she could hold onto her bonded one last time.

At least it hadn’t been for nothing. Sascha might have sacrificed for her, for them all, but it hadn’t been in vain. ”That’s good,” she said, her voice sounding distant and frail in her ears. ”I’m - that’s good.” She meant it, in some deep part of her mind, but it came out sounding hollow and flat, and her guilt intensified. How dare she mourn so openly when they had been successful? When Zavien had died, too?

But Zavien had been brought back, and Sascha was still gone.

Alys

melita

and she recklessly plays with matches

Mourning didn’t need to make sense. Gods, half the time actions Melita did on a regular basis didn’t make sense. But standing there, in the midst of so much agonizing grief, made her stock still. Once Alys had taken hold of the ursur, she nodded, awkward and uncertain, before crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re welcome. And I’m sorry.” For what – she wasn’t really sure anymore. For being amongst the crowd? For committing to something they hadn’t been ready for? For the little ursur, who’d been willing to sacrifice herself for her bonded? Maybe all of it.

Her eyes were downcast, along the snowy soil. “If you don’t need anything else, I’ll uh – I’ll go.” More lectures and disappointment awaited, probably, when she made her way home.

and i'm still waiting for a life that never was

Alys stood on the porch, swaying slightly in the Deepfrost breeze, as she clutched the lifeless body of her companion as though she might be able to bring her back to life if she simply held her tightly enough. Melita’s apology fell on deaf ears as the seer stood in silence. Even if she’d heard, she wouldn’t have known what to say - it wasn’t Melita’s fault that Alys and Sascha had been there on the tundra. That blame lay solely with the seer.

She should have known better, and Sascha had paid the ultimate price.

”Thank you,” she said again as Melita prepared to leave, uncaring how awkward and uncomfortable the encounter had been for the Honeybee. Later, when they saw each other again, Alys would have a newfound respect for the woman. For now, though, she was only a reminder of the disaster that had befallen them in the north.

As Melita departed, Alys carried her companion to the backyard, where she would prepare a quiet burial.

fin

Alys