[SE] What do we do for our dream to survive?

Koa

We are young supernovas

It has been an unbearably long week.

Or maybe it's only been a day? Koa is no longer sure. Ever since the meeting when the end of the world was announced Koa's concept of time and reality has been a little bit blurry. There had been so much to do, so many people to see and help, so many decisions and hard calls to make - a constant series of steps taking them forward, without enough time to sit and digest. Which is good, because Koa knows that if he stops moving he will probably break apart again, and he's spent the last few seasons working very, very hard to put his pieces back into place.

But as he steps off the skyboat returning from Halo, Koa can feel his momentum slip. The weak points in his armor are starting to falter, leading to hairline fractures in his resolve. Exhausted down to his very marrow, Koa staggers down the gangplank toward the small row of vendor stalls that somehow has seemed to grow as the disaster draws nears. Enterprising youngsters and stubborn merchants are making the most of a dire situation, and while in times of peace Koa might have questioned their legality, right now he's grateful for their entrepreneurial spirit.

Approaching one of the makeshift stalls, Koa orders a large iced coffee, extra large, extra iced, if they please. It's too damn hot and he's still dressed partially for Halo, with a long sleeved shirt and canvas pants tucked into his boots. Leaning in the shade of a nearby pillar, he lets his copper eyes drift shut, running his hand through the sweat of his forehead and lets his guard momentarily slip.

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

The Skyport was chaos, and though she'd been thrown in the deep end quite abruptly, Soh was learning to swim in it.

There were people everywhere, of course - any evacuation would require the crowds, all pressed together under a baking Longheat sun. Their voices droned on and on, individuals merging into a vague sort of background voice that pressed incessantly in upon the ears. And the smell. Gods, Soh wasn't sure she'd ever forget the unique scent of sweat and smoke and heat.

But there was order in the madness, somehow, and there was kindness, too. Despite the low level of panic underlaid beneath every movement of every person in the port, Soh had seen families helping one another, loners directing stragglers who might never have been out of Stormbreak on where to go, kids leading the elderly to the right skyship. And that was to say nothing of the Dragoons, who hauled cargo and directed crowds and did all manner of menial tasks generally left to others. As more and more people departed, there were fewer and fewer left to do the work.

Soh herself would be one of the last to leave. She wasn't worried about the city falling around her; with myriad shifts that could fly, she was fairly confident in her ability to survive. But she wouldn't leave anyone behind. If that meant she had to personally ferry the last person off the floating island as it fell, then so be it. In the meantime, though, she was organizing some of the relics and other paraphernalia deemed important enough to be saved, making sure that it was going to the right place and delivered to the right people.

She had just checked over the last box of this load, clipboard in hand, when she decided that there was time for a drink in between jobs. After all, she wouldn't do anyone any good if she passed out from dehydration or had a heat stroke. With that in mind, she made her way over to the vendors who had set up in the skyport.

And promptly did a double take.

Surely her eyes were playing tricks on her. Surely that wasn't Koa fucking Carpenter standing in her skyport.

Squashing down the myriad emotions threatening to rise in her chest - the chief among them hurt - Soh thought about turning away. Koa stood with his eyes closed, so he hadn't seen her yet. Maybe it would be best if she just disappeared into the crowd, became another faceless worker doing her job to get the people of Stormbreak to safety. Gods knew they'd hurt each other enough for a lifetime, and she wasn't keen to rip off the scab that had just barely begun to form.

And yet...

Her conversation with Zavien played through her mind. Maybe Koa had a good reason for having been gone for so long.

For having left without so much as a goodbye.

And what if the worst should happen? Wouldn't Soh always regret it if she walked away now? If she'd had the opportunity to demand answers and squandered it?

So the Luminary squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and marched over to the Dragoon. As she neared, she realized that he looked as tired as she felt, and she faltered in her conviction. Maybe this wasn't the right thing to do. Maybe leaving him alone would be best.

But then she was standing in front of him. All he had to do was open his eyes and he'd see the familiar blonde of her hair as she walked away. So instead, she raised a hand to shade her eyes from the sun, placed the other hand firmly on her hip, and said, "Well, look what the dragon dragged in."

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia

Koa

We are young supernovas

In the midst of the chaos Koa steals a moment to find his focus, letting his senses spread and center with each expansion and retraction of his lungs. He's aware of the cool stone against his sweaty neck, of the smell of animals and food and humans, of the sounds of his people trying to navigate a crisis with what dignity they can. And then he's aware of his own soft breathing, his aching muscles, the soreness to which he's so accustomed it may as well be his natural state. Gods, he's way more tired than he realized, and as the heat bears down he finds himself strongly considering dozing off.

But he can't rest yet.

There are footsteps approaching him, someone else needing something else, and man does Koa wish they'd turn and head off somewhere else. He's just steeling himself rally and smile when a familiar voice crashes through all of his plans, sending his mind careening sideways with the unexpected twist. Copper eyes flutter open, widening in surprise; Koa straightens up abruptly, surprise written over his unshaved face. Not that her presence here should surprise him - after all, he's the one who left.

The stutter of alarm settles quickly as Koa regains his composure, expression settling into a crooked smile as he takes in her defiant posture, the hand that shields those sky-grey eyes. "Luminary," Koa replies, half warm, half wary, punctuating the greeting with a little bow, though his gaze never leaves Sohalia's face. "You look... I mean... oh, fuck it, Soh, it's good to see you." And then he steps forward to embrace her, because even in crisis Koa is Koa and Sohalia is Sohalia, and all the pages of history between them can't stop him from holding her as the world's about to end.

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

For half a heartbeat, Soh thought that maybe she should have used a different tactic, that maybe she should have turned and left after all. Koa just looked so... tired, standing there, leaned against the stone.

But then she was speaking, and his eyes were snapping open to cast her in a copper spotlight that she'd never been able to resist, and she felt herself half-smiling in response to his little bow, if only because it was so ridiculous that, after everything they'd been through, that he'd still treat her with this strange formality. She pursed her lips in response, raising a brow, and was just about to tell him exactly where he could shove his audacity when he stepped forward to embrace her.

And for a moment, the world just stopped.

Soh's arms wrapped around him in turn, clutching at Koa as though he were the only tether holding her to the ground. For a moment, there was no crisis driving their people from their home. There was no threat of tremors, no fear that Stormbreak was going to fall out from under them at any given moment. There was only this breath, and Koa's scent, and the feel of his arms around her, and it was both everything she'd been dreaming of for seasons and everything she'd been dreading because what did it even mean -?

And then the moment was over. The sounds of the milling crowds and the stench of the sweating skyport overtook her once more.

And yet... she didn't let go.

I missed you, she longed to say. Where were you? she wanted to ask. But in the end, she couldn't do it. If she stayed silent, stayed here in his arms, then maybe she could hold onto what could have been for just a little longer.

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia

High above the city, a pale, serpentine shape drifts through the clouds. A Cloud Wyrm glides effortlessly on unseen currents, its long body looping slowly through the open sky.

It casts a faint, passing shadow across the streets below before climbing again, content to remain distant and untouchable.

The wyrm continues its lazy circuit, a serene presence against the endless blue.

---

Cloud Wyrm Areas Found: King's End, Torchline, Stormbreak, Hak Etme — Uncommon Cousins of the dragon, these small and serpentine creatures boast no wings or destructive breath. Rather, they breathe clouds. Their four-legged white bodies can be seen slithering through the air, puffy clouds streaming from their mouths to ease the intensity of the sun on the plains. They never get any bigger than a weasel, are known as docile, playful creatures, and they seem to enjoy collecting shiny things. Challenge Rating: Easy | Mythical HP: 84 | To Hit: +30 | Dmg: 16 Movement: Fly 40 ft. (hover); Walk 10 ft. SPECIAL SKILLS Friendly Bond: when befriended, will linger overhead to provide moving shade and soft breezes; Sky-Slip: glides through still air with ease, ignoring most gusts and turbulence; Downy Silence: featherlight motion makes them almost soundless even at speed

TRAITS Cloud Breather: exhales soft, cooling vapour rather than flame; Docile & Playful: avoids confrontation, preferring games and gentle curiosity; Shiny Collector: irresistibly drawn to glittering trinkets and coins; Sunshade Trail: drifting cloud-streams cast welcome shade over travellers ACTIONS Cloud Puff: releases a dense little cloud to obscure vision or cool overheated allies; Zip Dash: darts in a looping burst of speed to evade grasping hands or predators; Chiming Trill: a bright, musical chirr that soothes nerves and encourages calm

Koa

We are young supernovas

It shouldn't be a particularly good hug. He's sweaty and sticky, unshaved and unwashed, and the history between them ought to prickle and sting like nettles. Koa has done wrong by Soh; this can't be denied. They've both hurt each other, left wounds that healed into scars, and their standing in each others' lives has been tenuous at best for years.

Yet the embrace feels wonderfully, dangerously natural, and for a handful of heartbeats their history fades as Koa holds Soh tight. She still fits in his arms like she was meant to be there, hair tucked against his cheek, heartbeat steady against his chest. The smell of her is familiar and foreign, the warmth of her breath upon his neck warm, but not cloyingly so. He presses his eyes shut as he inhales, arms flexing protectively around the Luminary as he clutches her close. If only, if only, if only...

"Koa Carpenter?" a young voice calls, and the reverie is broken.

Koa clears his throat, releasing his grip on Soh. "Ah, that'd be my coffee." A flush has overtaken his neck and ears; his smile is lopsided, and he finds he can't quite meet her eyes. "Do you want anything?" He steps around Sohalia toward the small makeshift stall, accepting the iced beverage with a grateful nod. A solid sip is followed by a relieved "Ahhhh," and then he's pressing the cup to his forehead, relishing the cold condensation on his surprisingly heated face. "That's good shit," Koa murmurs, watching a cloud wyrm twist and dance through the azure sky.

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

If only seemed to be the bane of their relationship, and it seemed to be permanently where they were stuck. As a young voice called Koa’s name and the young man withdrew, Soh felt her breath catch in her throat at the memory of what might have been. One moment, it was as if they were on the precipice of more yet again; the next, Koa couldn’t quite meet her eyes, sidestepping around her to fetch a cold drink and leaving her feeling positively frigid in his absence despite the suffocating heat.

”No,” she said, suddenly trying not to cry. So this was where his disappearance had led them: her, hoping despite all the obvious clues that she shouldn’t, because of one hug that probably meant next to nothing to him. He’d had no trouble brushing her off in the past, leaving her without even a note of apology or explanation. And while she’d done things to hurt him, too, this somehow stung deeper than wounded pride and sabotaged ego. She’d really thought they’d had a chance, when she’d asked him for one. Now? Now there might be too much water under the bridge.

A cloud warm appeared, drifting through the sky like a lazy cloud, and if it hadn’t been such a hot day, perhaps it would have pulled a cool breeze along with it. Soh’s gaze tracked it for a moment as she fought to get herself under control. What was she supposed to say now? Was she supposed to ask how he’d been? Where he’d been? What he’d been doing? Why he couldn’t have warned her? Or was she supposed to just shrug it off, let it roll off like rain, never letting him know how deeply he’d cut in his impromptu exit from her life?

Awkward and unsure, she tried on a false smile. ”So, um…” But nothing else came to mind to say - nothing of use, anyway, and the pause grew uncomfortable before she settled on, ”… do you need any help with anything? We’re all hands on deck evacuating, but if you need help packing or… if your family needs anything… we can make arrangements.”

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia

Koa

We are young supernovas

The silence that follows is stilted and awkward, heavy with things they've left unsaid. It hangs between them like humid air, threatening to crush them with its weight, to snuff out any lingering hope that the flame they've so long held between them could continue to stay alight. He ought to say something, he knows he does, but he's just so fucking tired.

Soh's voice breaks the prolonged silence; Koa blinks and lowers his coffee, gazing down at the Luminary who he used to know so well. She's tired, too, pale skin waxen with exhaustion, silver eyes rimmed by shadows and blood. An instinct to touch her rises in him, to brush his hand across her cheek, press tousled hair behind her ear. But he's lost that right, if he ever had it, and so his hands stay on his cup while he studies her through copper eyes.

"No, my family's okay. They left acrually yesterday." A sad smile creeps into his voice, and he has to swallow back a lump. "It's just me now." Him and a dying city and an empty house and the broken bonds and abandoned promises of a life they'll never live. Koa clears his throat abruptly, turning to blink away the tears that swirl in his eyes. When he looks at Soh again his expression borders on fragile. "What about you, Soh?" he asks her gently, the question an extended hand she's free to take or slap away. "What do you need?"

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

Maybe it would be better to have it out with Koa now, before even more time passes with even more things left unsaid between them. But she was so tired, depleted in ways that she couldn’t even begin to explain, and suddenly the thought of having this conversation at this moment just felt exhausting. She was almost relieved when Koa latched onto her stilted question, and though his answer was depressing, at least it was something else to talk about, to think about. They could deal with the rest some other time, when Soh had had a bath and a nap and time to figure out what she actually wanted from him after all this time.

”Okay. That’s good,” she replied, voice soft and sympathetic. ”Not - that it’s just you, but that they’re, you know, taken care of.” As taken care of as they could be, anyway. She didn’t ask where they were going or what they would do. That felt too personal, and she was doing her best to keep this… what, exactly? Gods, she didn’t even know anymore. But she didn’t feel like getting into the details of his family’s life when she wasn’t sure where she stood in his.

His question, though, took her aback, and she blinked in surprise at the unexpected olive branch, struggling with the insane urge to laugh, because this wasn’t funny, but what else was she supposed to do? What did she need? How about a city that wasn’t dying, as a start? Her silence this time wasn’t born of awkward anxiety, but of a genuine lack of clarity. ”I don’t know, Koa,” she said finally, exhaustion in every syllable. ”I just -“ And she gestured vaguely around, towards the thousands of lives shifting irrevocably around them. ”I need to get these people to safety. I need to do what I can to protect whatever’s left of my home. And then? If I’m still breathing? I guess I need to figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do next.”

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia

Koa

We are young supernovas

Her answer isn't far from the answer he would have given if asked, and while Koa wishes he could be surprised at how little thought Soh seems to have given to her own needs, he can't say that he is. The needs of others have always overshadowed her own; it's a trait they share, really. Perhaps that's how they would up where they are: each so afraid they'd hurt the other that they'd never dared to risk the thing they could have been.

Now as Koa looks at Soh he cannot help but wish that he could undo it all. Go back to before and before and before, to every moment when his fear and concern for the Luminary cast another shadow in her silver eyes. He wishes he could have been braver then; that he'd risked more, reached further. Yes they might have become silver scars, slices in each other's hearts that bled until time kint them closed.

But gods that would better than what they are: a series of abrasions not bold enough to rupture, but harsh enough to create a web hypertrophic tissue so thick and dark between them as to obscure any light.

"And who's helping you? Soh..." Stepping toward the Luminary, Koa reaches for her hand, momentarily cursing the once-blessed coffee that keeps him from taking both. With all the boyish earnestness he can muster the Dragoon gazes down into her eyes, willing his expression to convey the things he knows his tongue cannot. "I know I haven't been... that I've fucked up. A lot. And I know we need to talk - really talk - and that this isn't the right time. But I want - I need-- ugh." Frustration at his own leaden tongue clouds his handsome features; his fingers fidget anxiously across the backs of her. "I just... I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need. Even if it's someone to yell at, or hit, or carry heavy boxes.

"And... if what you need right now is for me to go, I'll go," he adds, not wanting to force her to endure him if she doesn't want it, to be another burden on her slender shoulders. The ball is firmly in Sohalia's court; gods know Koa's dropped it enough times to be firmly in the penalty box.

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

And who's helping you? he asked, and Soh swallowed hard, averting her gaze, suddenly feeling very bare and vulnerable in the truth that she had no plans or inklings for her future. Every path she could see for herself led into the background, where she would undoubtedly fade away into the shadows. And maybe she'd spent too much time in the light, but she wasn't ready to be relegated to darkness just yet.

Regardless, she wasn't prepared for Koa to reach for her, taking her hand in one of his own and pulling her silver eyes back to him, a hint of surprise shimmering in their depths as he promised her to be here, to be whatever she needed. It was a promise that was several months too late, but there it was all the same. And maybe she'd have simply thanked him, pasting on the same brave smile she gave to the rest of the world, but then... then the ball was firmly in her court, the choice hers, and gods if it didn't feel like they were just trading it back and forth in a game that would never truly finish.

"Don't -" she hastened to say, the words tumbling from her lips before she could fully form coherent thought. Her voice was small and vulnerable when she finished, "Don't go." She wasn't sure what she wanted, what she needed, but watching Koa walk away again - whether it was her fault or his or nobody's - was more than she could bear on top of everything else. Hadn't they lost enough without losing each other, over and over again, each time more painful than the last? "I want to be here for you, too, but I can't do that if you leave."

Tears welled in her eyes unbidden, and she blinked them away, brow creasing as she fought to banish the heavy feelings threatening to overtake her. She didn't have time to feel, not when everyone still needed her. "Can we just - can we talk, when this is over? Please?" she asked thickly, reaching up with her free hand to rub away the single tear that managed to escape. "Wherever we end up?"

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia

Koa

We are young supernovas

She doesn't pull away from him,  doesn't yell or send him off. This feels promising, at least; like wherever they go from this moment, it will be toward something more than strangers and kinder than foes. "I'm not going anywhere," he promises gently, squeezing the oath against the fingers wrapped within his hand. "I'm right here with you. Until the end." Which end that is - the end of their home,  of their friendship, of their lives - hangs in the balance, unsaid. Maybe Koa would have kept from making such bold promises in normal times, but these are not them.

Tears turn Soh's eyes into moonstones; he watches her brush one from her cheek, wondering how many more he"d caused. And though a knife of guilt twists within him as the Luminary begs to talk,  Koa musters a smile in answer, squeezing her hand again. "Yes. We will. I promise." It's easy to promise a future, with the present crumbling beneath their feet.

As though prompted by his hubris the ground buckles and roils. "Careful!" Koa cries in caution, coffee sloshing in his cup. With a grimace the Dragoon at last releases Sohalia, shifting his cup to shake stray coffee off his sticky hand. "I need to take a shower, then I'll get back to it. Come with me?" he asks, looking back at Soh with innocent inquiry, utterly oblivious to the possibly provocative nature of the invite. Propriety hardly seems to matter at the end of the world. Expecting protes, Koa quickly adds: "A nice cool shower will refresh you, help you see clearly. Then we can see what needs doing next." He flashes Soh the most winning, trust me I'm a commander smile he can muster.

and the heat's about to break

There is love inside this madness
We are walking on the moon

There was so much water under the bridge for the two of them that she could no longer see the path, the waves cresting over the planks and threatening to sweep her away. Koa promised to stay, but at that moment, Soh realized that the oath hurt, aching in a way she hadn't expected. Because for all his pretty promises, Soh didn't believe him, and that, more than anything, was perhaps the death knell of what they might have been.

But she offered a watery, tired smile anyway, because what good was it to linger in would've, could've, should've when their world was ending?

The ground bucked and quaked beneath their feet, and Soh flung her arms wide to catch her balance, barely managing to avoid stumbling into Koa. She wouldn't miss that, at least. Solid ground awaited them all beyond Stormbreak's borders, for better or worse. The tremor stopped after a moment, and Soh grimaced at the coffee that now covered Koa's hand. At least it hadn't been hot. All he needed was a scald burn to go along with the blistering heat of summer.

She was prepared to return to her work, but then Koa stopped her; she blinked up at him with surprise. His invitation was seemingly innocent, but memories of the last time she'd been naked with him leapt unbidden to mind, and a faint blush mantled her cheeks. Irritation sparked - not at Koa, but at herself, because by now one would think she'd be over any lingering shyness, especially given everything that was going on. She had to admit that a cool shower sounded absolutely divine, and since she was waiting on the next shipment of relics that she could go through and mark off her list, she had the time.

She glanced back at the bustling skyport, worrying her lip between her teeth, clearly torn with indecision. A year ago, her answer would have been immediate and affirmative. But now... now her heart and mind were at odds, and she wasn't sure where that left her common sense. On the one hand, this was Koa, and he was here, and he was trying, in his way, to take a moment to care for her, to offer her a brief reprieve from the harsh reality that they were living in. But on the other, she had responsibilities to take care of, and taking a break to go shower with him felt like abandoning her duties - to say nothing of the warring emotions that such a prospect elicited.

In the end, she nodded slowly, hesitant in her agreement for myriad reasons, some of which she didn't even have the energy to name. "Okay," she said. "Maybe a break will be good." Maybe it would be like Koa said and refresh and revitalize her. Maybe then she'd have more to give to her city than the bare minimum; running on fumes was only sustainable for so long, after all, and she'd do no one any good if she passed out from exhaustion.

fin

Though I don't believe in magic
I believe in me and you

Sohalia