[SE] can't forget the way you made me heal

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

"It's really crazy how quickly everything's being taken over by nature," Soh commented as she climbed out of the small dinghy that she and Zavien had chartered to return to Stormbreak's remains - a truly masochistic decision if there ever was one, but they were here now, and there was no taking it back. They'd floated carefully past the Celestine, which still appeared to be pristine (from the outside, anyway) and spotted the Tower, dodging debris in the tumultuous waters until they arrived upon the shore. Soh's boots, waterproof and travel-worn, splashed in the surf as she helped pull the boat up on the sand and stone, and when she was certain that it wouldn't be reclaimed by the sea, leaving at least one of them stranded, she turned to regard the Tower more fully.

The Gothic architecture was as imposing as ever, but now it was being overtaken by moss and vines. Windows had been shattered, and the ground was littered with shards of broken glass that crunched beneath her heels as she walked. Here and there she spotted things she recognized: the cobblestone paving, a broken sign from her favorite art shop, an upturned street cart that had once held the most delicious food. She coughed to clear the lump in her throat as she took it all in, reaching up to shade her eyes as she looked up and up and up at the Tower. Somehow it still stood, though she wasn't sure how stable it would be. Maybe they didn't need to go up inside it, just in case.

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

He followed Soh out of the dinghy, eyes scanning the small island that now floated amidst the Arclight, catching the golden flash of Sol exploring. "True." His voice was hoarse from the smoke that hovered in the air, the foliage and dusting of debris giving the Tower an eerie aura. Cracks ran across the walls, some stones missing even as the monolith stood tall, reaching for the sky where it'd once resided. 

It didn't feel like the same one he'd stood in front of just a week ago, the one he'd built only last season. He nearly laughed at the absurdity of it. "I find it extremely ironic that the Tower is one of the only things that didn't crumble." Perhaps they'd done a better job rebuilding than he thought. 

Coughing through the lingering smoke, Zavien unconsciously echoed Soh's concerns as he stepped closer to the entrance. "You think it's safe to go inside? Should there be a warning sign?" He took cautious steps around the rubble, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword as he assessed the risk.

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

Ironic it may be, but there the Tower stood, as tall and imposing as ever. Soh studied it, head cocked to one side, then turned her silver gaze to Zavien. "I don't know," she replied honestly, reaching out a hand to gently run her fingers against the stone. "I can always shift and scout ahead, but I don't like the idea of either of us being alone out here." The journey to get here had been harrowing enough without splitting up now that they finally stood on the shores of their fallen region.

A sudden rustle in the foliage caught Soh's eye; she looked up, to see a flash of something moving in the broken windows above. She pointed it out to Zavien, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I don't think we're alone," she warned. Still, she felt no sense of impending danger, no foreboding shiver to crawl up her spine. She wasn't exactly happy to be out here, but it had been something she'd felt she needed to see through, to assure herself that home was really gone and that it was really time to find a new path. But regardless, it didn't feel the same as Stormbreak under the Void's influence, or the tundra back when Zavien died. The Tower simply... existed.

It stood to reason that there would be wildlife come to retake the city. Soh just hadn't been prepared to see it.

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

Stepping around a piece of moss-covered rubble, his eyes narrowed to pierce through the dark cavities of the structure. From what he could tell, the cracks were shallow, failing to reach the foundation or framework, but it was impossible to tell from outside, and it was stupid to risk their lives when they could easily be crushed by a faulty upper floor. If they were going to investigate unnecessarily, he refused to risk one of them being caught alone, pinned beneath debris. 

Zavien nodded his head, remaining within a few steps of Soh. "Agreed. We'll stick together."

Her direction drew his eyes, a flicker of something causing him to tense. Other than the creepy smoke and feeling that more time has passed than it should have, there was little reason to believe something dangerous lurked here beyond crumbling infrastructure - not that he was going to relax.

A streak of gold glided in his peripheral and Zavien looked up to his companion, soldierly caution bracing in his tone as he asked, "Sol, do you see anything?" The dragon slipped closer in response, a low rumble of curiosity as he investigated the window.

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

Smoke filtered through the Tower, wafting through broken windows and covering the area in an ashen haze. Soh felt her breath catch in her throat as she struggled against the urge to cough, and her whisper was raspy as she called a wary, "Be careful!" to Sol. Perhaps she was too protective of companions, but after having lost her own, she hated to see the dragon put himself in harm's way.

Swallowing down her qualms, Soh peered closer at the window through which she'd seen movement. Now it was still and silent. Sol's investigation would yield nothing but dust motes floating through the air, though their wavering movement might suggest that something had been there only a moment before.

Out of the corner of her eye, something white flashed, and Soh whirled, half-shifting, her fingernails lengthening and strengthening into a tide jaguar's claws. But, much to her surprise, nothing popped out of the Tower, intent on causing them harm. No, instead, a cloud wyrm drifted lazily from the smoke, carrying with it a blissfully fresh breeze and a cloud that offered a modicum of shade to the pair of humans watching from below.

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

Sol flew closer, landing on the windowsill to glance inside. A few pieces of brick fell from his perch, tapping against the wall as it went down, hitting a protruding stone at an angle before shooting out to plop into the water. But the dragon ignored it, tilting his head to peer inside, a low trill of curiosity curling from him when he tipped his head the other way. And yet he saw nothing, looking back to Zavien with a vacant expression. 

Then a flow of cool air brushed his cheek, startling him with the sudden change in temperature. He whipped around, barely catching sight of the white scales before a miniature cloud formed amongst the smoke, white and pristine compared to the ashen atmosphere. However, it didn't seem intent on harming them or stealing anything, drifting slowly down towards them. 

Zavien followed it with his eyes, the grip on his sword hilt loosening a fraction as he leaned slightly closer to Soh. "At least it seems friendly."

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

The cool air was a welcome reprieve from the oppressive heat and smoke, and Soh shaded her eyes to watch the cloud wyrm approach. "She looks young," Soh commented, though how she knew that, she couldn't quite say - nor could she identify precisely why she knew the gender of the wyrm, which chimed softly as she approached, perhaps in an attempt to calm the travelers. "I wonder if she got separated from her family when Stormbreak fell?"

Closer the cloud wyrm drifted, seemingly intent on investigating the little trio. Zavien and Sol each received a cursory glance and a quiet chirp of greeting, but then the creature returned to its seeming fixation upon Soh. It sailed closer, bringing with it cool, refreshing air and shade, and twined around the Luminary curiously. She laughed, shifting, retracting claws and returning to a fully human form, twisting in place to keep the cloud wyrm in view. "I don't think she means any harm," she told Zavien. "She just seems curious. And lonely." And to that, Soh could fully relate.

Intrigued in spite of herself, Soh reached out a hand, extending her fingertips until they brushed against the cloud wyrm's smooth scales -

And then she recoiled with a wordless cry, stumbling into Zavien in her haste to retreat. A sudden rush of images and emotions flooded her mind, so familiar and yet so different, because she'd felt this before, a long time ago, with a little griffin lost in the Oerwoud -

"No," she gasped, clutching at Zavien's arm like a lifeline. The cloud wyrm, unperturbed, drifted around, chiming with a calming, bell-like noise that - at this moment, at least - did little to soothe Soh's sudden panic. "Sh-she bonded me." How could this happen? She wasn't ready, wasn't prepared, not this, not again -

"Zavien, why did she bond me?"

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

His eyes stayed primarily on the cloud wyrm, watching it drift and dance through the air in a manner fitting of its nature. "Maybe. Safrin relocated everyone, but maybe this little one was too far?" He doubted the goddess would have missed even a single creature, but it was possible that the cloud wyrm had been away when her magic had cast over the city, and possible that it had returned just before the fall. 

Zavien smiled to see that the tragedy hadn't marred the playful spirit, its cool breeze kissing his cheeks when it swirled around Soh. "She definitely seems to like you." And he'd much prefer that over a lurking beast intent on eating them. Yet Soh was suddenly reeling back into him as if she'd been bit by such a beast, her face a ghastly white as she clutched at him. 

He tore his gaze from where he'd spotted Sol descending, shocked by the sudden shift. "What? She - " The cloud wyrm drew his attention again, floating innocently in front of them while Soh's fingers dug into his arm. At first, he glanced between them, more confused than anything as he slowly registered what she'd said. 

Bonded.

To him, it was something to rejoice, a moment of immeasurable happiness at getting to connect with a companion, but as he saw the ghosts shadowing Soh's face, he recalled the strangled cry of Tarak as he died. Zavien's heart broke for her and the memories she had to relive, the ones replaying in her eyes. He didn't know what to say or do. It felt wrong to dismiss that loss, to push aside a bond she'd once shared so she might rejoice in this new one. He couldn't say it would pass because it wouldn't. This cloud wyrm had made its choice, and Soh's heart was now tied to it. There would be no relief or escape from the cord connecting them and he felt powerless to shield her from the suffering it brought. 

Instinctually, he drew Soh closer, bracing his free arm along her shoulders in a soothing motion to anchor her in the present rather than letting her drift alone in the pain. "Hey hey. It's okay. Take a deep breath." Maybe, once the shock passed, there might be room for comfort.

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

Later, perhaps, Soh would calm enough to appreciate the joy in the bond. She would love and cherish her new companion, perhaps even growing to appreciate the bond even more than she had when Tarak had been alive, if only because his death had proven to her how truly precious it was. But right now? Right now, she was in a tailspin, clinging to Zavien's arm and trying desperately not to hyperventilate. How could she explain that what should be a joyous occasion was marred by the memory of her fallen companion's dying cry? That she was wholly unequipped to care for a new companion because she had failed her previous one so utterly?

She didn't deserve the cloud wyrm. Not its love. Not its trust. Not its bond.

Tears leaked from Soh's eyes as Zavien drew her closer. She trembled as she leaned into his hold, releasing his arm only to wrap one hand around her navel. The other instinctively reached out to the cloud wyrm, seeking comfort and reassurance through the bond. The small, dragon-like creature came closer, winding herself around Soh's arm and purring with a sound not unlike a cat. "You don't want me," Soh told the wyrm in a broken, anguished voice. "I can't - I'm sorry -" The apology fell from her lips, a warning of all the ways in which she could fail her companion. And yet still the cloud wyrm stayed.

Soh turned her tear-streaked face up to Zavien. "I can't protect her," she sniffled. "I can't - I can't do this again."

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

Zavien tensed, feeling like an intruder on Soh's thoughts and insecurities. They were friends, but he didn't believe this was something she'd want him to see or hear, this broken part of her that hadn't healed. They were achingly similar to emotions he'd had before, and he leaned closer rather than pulling away, his voice softening. "Soh... it wasn't your fault."

He squeezed her shoulder, watching as the cloud wyrm wound around her arm in something that might have been comforting if the creature wasn't the source of pain. Shaking his head, he did his best to refute her dark beliefs. "Tarak chose to fight because he cared for you." Zavien didn't think claiming otherwise would honor the griffin's death, and he quickly added, "As much as we want to protect our companions, that's not why they pick us."

Sol glided down next to them, wings fluttering at his side while he trilled a happy greeting to the new friend. It had Zavien softening a touch, panic and sadness turning warmer with affection. "It's so we can share something deeper than friendship." Looking to Soh, he added in a quieter tone, "Despite the risks."

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

There was no room for embarrassment at what Zavien was witness to, only a deep-seated shame that Soh couldn't quite shake. To have a new companion felt wrong even as it felt perfect. On the one hand, the bond never lied, and Soh could feel the cloud wyrm's devotion and affection as though it were here own - because it was, deep down, a new protective adoration blossoming in her chest as the wyrm climbed along her arm to settle gently on her shoulder. But it also felt disloyal somehow, like she was replacing Tarak in a way that she'd never intended nor even dreamed possible.

It wasn't your fault, said Zavien, but Soh shook her head in mute disagreement, because it was. Tarak had died for her, because of her, and if she hadn't brought him, if she had protected him, he'd still be here. But Zavien was right, too - companions didn't choose their bondeds because they wanted protection. It went so much deeper than that, a blessed bond that defied all expectation and logic.

The cloud wyrm's touch was cool and damp, like walking through a fine mist. The little creature chimed a question at her, tilting her head as she regarded Soh's free-falling tears. "No," Soh whispered. "I'm not mad at you." She reached up, tentative and trembling, to stroke the companion's head. The cloud wyrm shifted, directing Soh to scratch beneath her chin, eyes half-closing in pleasure at the touch. The sight coaxed a smile from Soh in spite of herself, however wobbly that smile might have been.

Sol appeared to trill a happy greeting, and the cloud wyrm twisted to regard the dragon with interest. She floated gently from Soh's shoulder with a friendly chime, leaving behind a cloud to continue to shade the humans as she played with Sol. In the wake of so much emotion, Soh leaned her head on Zavien's shoulder, taking a shuddering breath. "I know you're right," she murmured. "And it's not that I don't want her, I just - " She sighed. "I don't want to lose anyone else. Not ever."

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

Soh seemed to calm with the cloud wyrm's prolonged presence, a tentative smile even peeking from behind the watery eyes. Zavien let her process, holding her in quiet support. 

When the new companion joined Sol, the dragon bounced in a circle, his endless energy and enthusiasm taking some of the darkness that hovered in the space. The crook of a smile threatened to form just as Soh leaned into him, appearing drained from the experience. Although surprised, he didn't pull back, willing to hold her up if that's what she needed right now, to stand by her as she had for him during the recent weeks. 

Then he was distracted by his own grief her words brought forth. He let it pass over him like a gentle current, momentary but lingering. It washed away some of the warmth, pressing his expression tighter with the reminder, but Zavien didn't fold under it, just letting the emotion soften his words to a whisper, thick with understanding. "I know." He squeezed gently, offering his strength though it felt fleeting.

It didn't help that even though they'd managed to keep anyone from dying in the fall of Stormbreak, it felt like they'd lost something else, another part of them that had fractured away. As much as he hoped things might be different now, he couldn't deny that Caido always posed a risk to loved ones, no matter how safe they thought they might be. But it didn't seem like a helpful point to add, and he stayed quiet, letting Soh lean on him for as long as she needed.

Only once emotions began to ease did he speak again, trying for something a little lighter. "What's her name?"

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.

Only twenty minutes to sleep
But you dream of some epiphany

Their shared grief was something that Soh couldn't help but notice, and she glanced up at Zavien as the companions began to play, something akin to apology on her face. She slowly extracted herself from the former commander's hold, reaching to brush her hair out of her face and straighten her shirt with a faint blush upon her cheeks. "Sorry," she said, feeling a little self-conscious. "I guess I didn't handle that well, did I?"

The cloud wyrm darted through the air, more quickly than Soh had seen her move thus far, chasing Sol and taking their shade and cool breeze with her. Suddenly, the air was stifling once more, the smoke moving back in to surround them. Soh winced at the unexpected change, but stilled at the question from Zavien. She thought for a moment, and then: "Anani." At the sound of her name, the cloud wyrm flitted back to Soh's side, chiming happily. Soh's lips lifted in a soft smile.

Then she looked around. The Tower still stood, larger than life, but Soh felt suddenly drained. The thought of exploring the ruins of their home felt heavy, and the young woman glanced sidelong at Zavien. "Do you still want to explore, or was this enough excitement for one day, do you think?"

Just one single glimpse of relief
To make some sense of what you've seen

Sohalia

I take everything seriously,

His hold released when she shifted to step away, letting his arm drift gently to his side. There was no embarrassment on his part, no scrutiny or judgement in his gaze for the woman who had gone through more trauma than most. Instead, he shook his head, offering a soft smile of reassurance, a brush of sunlight. "Don't apologize. It must have been quite a shock." 

The smoke and heat returned in an instant, clogging his breath as he watched the cloud wyrm dart after the dragon. It threatened another cough, sweat already beginning to reform along the back of his shirt. Luckily, they weren't left uncomfortable for too long, the new companion leaving Sol to trot behind when she followed the sound of her name. 

Zavien smiled, dipping his head at the shimmering white scales that hovered between them. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Anani. We're glad you're safe." Sol gave his own trill of agreement, hopping so that his head, body, and tail moved in an excited wave of welcome.

Shaking his head at the companion he adored and appreciated so much, Zavien pulled a few pieces of jerky from his pocket, offering them to Sol and Anani in turn. When they're munching on their treat, he dragged his eyes across the island, taking in the Tower and what remained of their home after the fall. "I think it was enough to see what still stands, but I'm happy to stay if you want to investigate a little more." It had been a big enough step to come here and see with his own eyes what had survived, but it wouldn't take long to get lost in the loss, for the grief to overwhelm.

Zavien

but I also take it lighthearted to recognize I can't control it.