a rollercoaster kind of rush

Zavien

He could give her plenty of proof for moments when Soh knew exactly what to say, like how she repeatedly reassured him every time he mentioned his fear of losing her. It was never going to be a guarantee, but she had already gone to such lengths just to minimize some of his worries, to provide comfort measures when she couldn't be physically in his arms. And although he knew the fear would never be gone, it was becoming manageable. 

Pulling her tighter to him, Zavien's smile turned brighter, almost giddy from the words she'd uttered. He felt weightless, like this was a dream bound to end. "Our family. I like the sound of that." Thoughts of loss and paralyzing fears were overshadowed by the bliss that had him stealing another sweet kiss from her, as if he could taste the words on her lips, to give them life when they had already done so. 

When he released her, it was to meet her silver gaze, to see all the love there and hear how happy she was. It was hard to imagine those eyes ever looking at him with hate or resentment, to picture a time when she might regret these affections between them; but the world was a cruel place, and sometimes Caido changed people in a way that couldn't be repaired. Yet, in this moment, feeling Soh's fingers brush his cheek, experiencing the warmth of her love, he knew the worries were just hypotheticals, as unwarranted and unlikely as the Family's return.

He smiled, leaning into her touch. "I know. It's such a silly worry, something so absurd that it's almost laughable, but... I don't know. It's still there." His shoulders came up in a shrug, burying the majority of the concerns beneath the shared understanding. "Just... tell me if you ever start to feel unhappy." Whether it would act as a warning for the end or an opportunity for improvement, he'd rather know than find out that she'd been suffering in silence. 

Zavien didn't know when he'd started to sway, his feet shifting them in a slow, content rock that had arisen once the weight of their fears had been lifted. Reality seemed to follow, less daunting questions beginning to form as he held her. "Do you know how far along you are? Or when the baby will be born?"

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Our family. Played back in Zavien's voice, it was like music to her ears, and a radiant smile stole slowly across her face at the thought. It was something she'd always wanted, but never thought she'd have, particularly not in this fashion. This was what she had dreamed of, when she allowed herself to look into her future and wish.

Then she'd met Zavien, and all of those wishes had begun to come true.

She kissed him, arms slipping from around his neck to fist in his shirt, pulling him more tightly to her as a breathless giggle slipped out against his lips. It was hard to imagine that things would ever change, that there would be any hardships to endure, maybe because she could easily imagine facing anything that came their way so long as they were together. And yet, she knew that things would shift over time, and that they would have to either grow together or grow apart. While she clung tightly to her belief in the former, she knew, too, that her fears of the latter would only be soothed with time and consistency. Fortunately, she could be a patient woman when it was necessary, and for Zavien, proving that they were meant to be together, that they could face down any challenge, was something she could continue to do, over and over and over, until they both believed that their love, at least, would never fade.

"I will," she told him. "But only if you do the same." While she would hate knowing that he was unhappy, she would loathe herself all the more if she knew he was suffering in silence. Better to get any problems they may have out in the open. Secrets, she'd found, always came out in the end, and they always hurt. That was no way to build a lasting relationship, no foundation on which to build their family.

She felt when he began to sway, and easily leaned into the movement, content and lulled by the rocking motion. More practical questions came next - and fortunately, Soh had stopped by the clinic on the way here, so she could answer him, at least in part. "Not terribly far along," she said. "I stopped by the clinic after Safrin told me. I just... needed confirmation." Which sounded ridiculous, given that Safrin herself had given her the news. "Anyway, it's still too early to tell much except that so far, we both seem healthy. They said I'm due in late Flowerbirth." Because what are pregnancy timelines in Caido. She paused, tilting her head. "They also said we could come back in a few weeks, if we wanted to find out the gender."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

Soh deepened the kiss, her own infectious energy bubbling between them so that he was smiling into the force of it, like turning towards the sun. And even as the talk turned serious in the face of potential struggles, Zavien's mouth was pulled wide, a new sort of peace and certainty forming within the trust. "I promise." He doubted he would ever be unhappy - it felt like a stupid scenario to even consider - but it made him all the more willing to agree, knowing that it would probably never come to pass. 

Nodding his head, Zavien continued to sway, taking in the information. He couldn't blame her for checking with the clinic, although Safrin had yet to steer him wrong. Still, the information was world-altering enough that confirmation couldn't have hurt, even now, it only became more real the more they discussed it. "Flowerbirth..." he paused, letting it sink in, feeling the rush of anxiety that faded when he said, "That feels like worlds away." It gave them plenty of time to work out details, and plenty of time for the excitement to build. 

He shifted his weight again, smiling as she mentioned going to the clinic together. "As long as you're both healthy, that's all I care about." Unfamiliar with the more intricate details of pregnancy, he didn't want to think about how that could change, about how things could go wrong in the blink of an eye, so he tilted his head and asked, "But do you have a preference? Boy or girl?"

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Despite being only a few seasons in the future, at the moment, Flowerbirth did indeed feel worlds away. Content with the time they'd been given - and relieved that she'd found out now, rather than in a few months' time - Soh nodded, continuing to sway with Zavien. "I know," she commented with a smile. "It feels like plenty of time."

Now that Soh knew about the pregnancy, she was determined to include Zavien in as much of it as she could. The prospect of all they had to look forward to brought a smile to her face - and first up, as it turned out, was the potential of finding out the gender. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I'm with you - as long as they're healthy, that's all that matters to me." Boy or girl, Soh would be happy, so long as they were all safe and together. She knew she would love them regardless, and that was really all that mattered.

But that didn't mean that she wasn't curious. There was merit, she supposed, to waiting until birth to find out the gender, but she wasn't sure she could wait that long, not when knowing might change names they picked out or colors of clothing or any number of other things. "I don't have a particularly strong opinion either way, but I know some people like to be surprised when the baby is born. But it might be nice to know ahead of time, too."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

He smiled, growing happier and more in love with every minute. Perhaps this was just the bliss of naivety, unaware of the struggles to come, but maybe it was the excitement of new parents on the precipice of something new and unexpectedly pleasant. It wasn't how he'd expected to start a family, and if anyone would have asked a few months ago, he wouldn't have guessed who he'd be starting it with, but Zavien found that it all just fit. It felt right in a way that nothing else had before, and despite all the nerves and anxieties, he was overjoyed. 

When Soh reported not feeling passionate either way about finding out the gender, he gave another relaxed shrug of his shoulders and a peaceful smile. "I guess that's something we can decide later." When they'd had more time to process and more time to figure out what they hoped for, maybe they'd have more of an opinion. It was something they could easily do any time before birth, and Zavien was in no rush to make any big decisions on the heel of such life-altering news. 

Shifting them again, he looked down at Soh, cautious as he tried to get a feel for this new territory. "How are you feeling? Are you up for some food?" He tilted his head, assessing his own appetite as he waited for her to answer. It twisted and flipped, full to bursting but equally as empty after hours without eating. There was a slight bit of nausea, but he couldn't tell if it was from nerves or extreme hunger and the contradiction had him chuckling, shaking his head as he reported, "All this news has left my stomach confused, but I think I'm hungry."

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

While it felt like they had all the time in the world, there was still a part of Soh that felt like they should figure it all out right now. Time, she was sure, would fly by quickly for them, with their child arriving before they knew it. And, gods, she didn’t even have her living arrangements sorted yet. That seemed like the bare minimum, and yet she hadn’t even managed that. But given that she’d been panicked about how Zavien would react, and that he’d taken the news so well - and was so happy, now that the initial shock had worn off - she took the day as an overall win. As he said, they could figure out the rest later.

If anyone had told her a week ago that she’d be this happy to have her entire world upended, she’d have thought they were mad. And yet, here she was - pregnant and blissful, now that the fact of the matter had settled in. It hadn’t been in her plan - but then neither had Zavien, and look how that had turned out. Maybe the best things in life were the surprises along the way, the things that reminded them that they were living.

”I’m good.” She smiled, heart full in ways she hadn’t realized were possible up until now. ”I should definitely eat something,” she added, making a face. She wasn’t really hungry, but she supposed she was moderately less nauseous than she had been earlier. ”No promises on how much I’ll be able to manage, though.” But she would force something down. After all, she was eating for two now, and it wasn’t just about what she wanted anymore. It was about what was best for the baby, and that, unfortunately for Soh, was food.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

"No promises necessary," Zavien said, kissing her hairline before he leaned back to look at her more fully. "Well, since you finished your quest, I figured celebrations were in order - although I guess we have two reasons to celebrate now." His smile turned more playful, crooked with amusement for the situation he hadn't expected to find himself in today, all the more happy for it all. 

"So I picked up some steaks and sides - mashed potatoes, buttered noodles, steamed veggies, salad, bread." Although unsure of the reasoning for her picky eating, he had taken it into consideration when getting the food, making sure to bring plenty of options for her to choose from except for the final course that they'd already agreed on. Grinning, he raised his eyebrows. "And peanut butter chocolate cake for dessert." It would be a real bummer if that didn't sound good, but he'd leave it up to her as he separated just enough to guide them towards the bag he'd brought. 

"Any of that sound good?"

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

”Oh my gods, you are the best,” Soh gushed, mouth already watering at the thought of so many options. She wasn’t sure what she’d be able to eat - or, worse, what she’d be able to keep down - but she would certainly do her best, especially given her choices.

Reluctantly releasing Zavien, Soh followed into the kitchen, where they could lay out their spread and pick and choose from the options. Leaving him to deal with the food, Soh gathered up plates and utensils, moving easily around the kitchen she’d grown so familiar with. Once everything was laid out, she tentatively selected some steak, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies, and bread. If she managed that - and probably even if she didn’t - she’d come back for cake.

Leading the way to the table, Soh settled in to eat. The first few bites, she’d found, were the hardest to get down, so she opted for a few small bits of vegetables to start. As they began to eat, Soh paused to glance over at Zavien. ”I guess now that my quest is finished, it’s time to tell you what it was for,” she commented, eyes twinkling with new excitement. She’d been planning to keep the secret a little longer, given that she still wanted to upgrade the parchment, but given everything going on, it seemed like that additional quest may have to wait. And having a method to instantly communicate could be more helpful than ever now.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

Laughing at her praise, Zavien's concern dissipated as he led them towards the food. While Soh grabbed the plates and utensils, he popped open the containers. It felt like it had been ages since he picked up the food - so much had changed since he was casually picking up the order that he could have sworn more time had passed - but the food was still warm as he opened the lids, the smells wafting enticingly into the kitchen that rarely saw good food. He selected a steak, salad, and pasta, leaving the rest of whatever Soh had picked in case she wanted more. 

When he'd grabbed them each a glass of water, he seated himself next to her at the corner of the table, his leg brushing hers in casual proximity as he lifted a forkful of steak to his mouth. Surprisingly, she started talking about her quest, and Zavien was reminded that he had no clue what it had been about. Beyond laying with her beneath the stars, she hadn't shared anything else. He figured it was something she would tell him when she wanted - which was apparently now. 

Sitting up a little straighter, he leaned forward to admire the sparkle in her silver eyes. Zavien grinned. "You've got me on the edge of my seat."

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

As expected, the first few bites were the most challenging to get through. Soh very nearly pushed her plate away as she forced herself to swallow a steamed carrot, doing her best not to gag on the mild flavor. But she couldn't just not eat, not when there was another little life depending on her, so she soldiered on, and after a few more mouthfuls of food, she looked decidedly less green and began to actually enjoy the meal. Still, she maybe wouldn't return to the vegetables, instead focusing on small bites of the rest of her plate.

"Well," she said between bites, eyes sparkling with a satisfied sort of mischief. "I wanted a way to keep in touch with you when we're apart, so... I asked Safrin to help me make a two-way parchment." She paused to take a sip of water. "I had intended to upgrade it so that we could talk to it instead of writing messages, but..." She shrugged. Then everything had gone so spectacularly sideways - not wrong, but different - that it no longer seemed like as much of a priority. "Anyway, I'll quest to upgrade them as soon as I can, but in the meantime -"

Pulling out the two pieces of parchment from her pocket, she sat them in the middle of the table, Safrin's message (I see congratulations are in order. You will make a wonderful mother.) on display in graceful writing. "- anything you write on one immediately appears on the other. It seems like a good idea, given our news, to go ahead and give one to you now."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

His head tilted, confusion apparent on his face as she said 'two-way parchment.' He got that it was meant to be a form of communication, but even as she continued to talk, he wasn't quite sure what it all meant or how it was supposed to be used. It wasn't until she placed the paper on the table with an identical message written out on each. 

It took him a minute to parse through what the elegant script said, but when he did, Zavien's eyes brightened, understanding blooming on his face as he pieced everything together - including Safrin's kind congratulations. "These are great, Soh!" He looked to her again, smile beaming as he laughed. "Although I definitely agree that talking would be easier, I'll take any opportunity for use to communicate when we're apart." Reaching for a pencil, he slid one of the sheets over to write 'I love you' on it, watching with breathy laughter when it appeared identically on the other. 

Appearing as fascinated as a kid with a new set of markers, there was a glint in his eyes as he asked, "How did you come up with this?"

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Soh watched with delight as confusion became understanding, accepting Zavien's beaming smile with a matching one of her own. Now that she'd given him his parchment, she was so glad that she hadn't waited. It was worth it for the absolute, awestruck joy on his face. "I thought you might feel that way." Plucking the pencil from his grasp, she wrote, I love you, too. Then, she tucked her piece back away in her pocket. "The parchment won't tear or wrinkle, so you don't have to worry about damaging it," she explained. "And, eventually, it'll be like talking back and forth instead of writing. Or, that's the goal, anyway." But for now, it would certainly do.

As for where she'd gotten the idea, Soh shrugged. "I had a few ideas, but the parchment seemed like the best fit. I used to have a pair of earrings that would do something similar, but I gave them away during a quest for Vi, when I had to do something selfless. And at their most basic form, they only worked one way, anyway." In order to make them truly two-way, she'd have had to upgrade them, and even then, she thought the range might be limited. "But I have a two-way parchment like this with Flora, and she has another one with Kaisel - and theirs is upgraded like I wanted to do with ours, so they can talk back and forth, or at least that's how Flora described it to me."

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

Zavien

The words she wrote were easy enough to understand this time, his smile turning soft and endearing. He stared at them as she spoke, wondering if they would fade or if he'd always be able to look at her handwriting written across the paper. If it didn't tear or wrinkle, he had to assume that the ink would never bleed, the words forever inscribed on the paper. 

Sliding it into his grasp, he fidgeted with it as he listened, gently testing the parchment's corner to see if it really didn't wrinkle or tear. It didn't surprise him that Soh had something similar with Flora, or that Flora had one with Kai. It didn't really affect them or his willingness to use the paper or his ability to admit its genius with an impressed nod. "Wow. I never would have thought of something like this."

Folding it, he tucked it into a pocket, already nervous about losing it. Extremely conscience of where it was located, he smiled at Soh and reached for another bite of food. "Maybe we can quest to upgrade them together." He didn't want to leave her with all the work, and it would be nice to do a quest together sometime - like a mandatory couple's date.

I love you with everything I am,
everything I've been,
and everything I hope to be.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

The thought of questing together was a welcome one, though she’d fully intended to upgrade the parchment before giving it to him and therefore had been expecting to do most of the work to see her plan through to its completion. Still, she rather liked how things had turned out instead, and she nodded as she chewed a bite of steak. ”That would be great,” she said, warm and enthusiastic. ”We can decide on when we want to do that later.” For now, she simply wanted to bask in their celebrations.

Speaking of which, Soh looked down to find her plate about halfway empty, then glanced towards the cake. She didn’t want to eat so much that she didn’t have room for dessert, but she also knew she needed real food more than sweets, however much her mouth watered at the thought of chocolate and peanut butter. ”I know I should try and finish this,” she said, pointing to her plate with her fork. ”But I really want some cake.” Amusement colored her expression as she debated inwardly. In the end, she took a few more bites from her plate before setting it aside, leaving room for dessert.

Stars all aligned and they intertwined