another one bites the dust

Smiling after the disappearing Luxere, without a trace of awkwardness - she was a farmer after all, knew enough about the needs of animals to not care about such trifles - Maea nodded her understanding. But the look she gave Loren was a bit puzzled, thoughtful as she considered what he'd said... especially the part he had muttered under his breath.

[say]"You'd like me to stay here? Why?"[/say] she asked, clearly surprised. If she wasn't ill, why would he like a cot to be filled up needlessly?

But her expression fell when he answered her inquiry. Maea looked down at the teacup in her hands, and sighed. Knew he was right, and that it would be... a very difficult conversation to have. [say]"Means no alcohol should be involved either,"[/say] she mumbled. [say]"Since it appears I'm the overly chatty, belligerent type of drunk. Or maybe I just need to stay away from wine, can't decide."[/say] Her grimace spoke volumes of how she'd felt after sobering up the morning after that.

Sighing, Loren scratched the back of his head. He gave Maea a clearly embarrassed look. [say]"I didn't mean stay here, stay here. I just meant...you know. If you have another rough night, or need some company every now and again...I don't mind."[/say] Looking away, he took a long drink from his tea to cover the awkwardness.

Letting out a huff of laughter, he nodded. [say]"No alcohol is good."[/say] Shooting a glance her way, he raised his eyebrows. [say]"Probably best to avoid it altogether."[/say] Tapping a finger on the cup, he looked down, cheeks flushing slightly. [say]"Could be worse. You could be the sloppy, belligerent, and slutty type of drunk like me."[/say]

[say]"Oh."[/say] She kept watching him, wondering at the embarrassment so clearly on display when the offer was both thoughtful and kind. What was he really thinking? [say]"Well, thank you. I appreciate the offer... and I'll keep it in mind."[/say] Her smile was warm and genuine, gratitude brightening her eyes.

Huffing a half-laugh at his comment about alcohol, Maea nodded. [say]"I try to, but it seems I've ended up in bad company. And... can't honestly say I've been drunk enough to claim I'm not all of those things. Only Sunjata could be a judge of that,"[/say] she remarked. Mouth twisting, becoming both fond yet sad, warm and... rather lonely looking, despite her company.

[say]"How is it working for you, to go without? How long has it been now, since last?"[/say] Maea thought of the bargain they had made. How she'd given Loren instructions, and the promise she'd made to reward his good efforts. Should be about time for some new steps soon... depending on how he's handled things.

[say]"Good."[/say] Loren nodded at Maea, then picked up another cloth and rubbed is over his face and hair, scrubbing both. A knocking sound came from the front door and he slung the cloth over his shoulder and opened the door to reveal Astra. She trotted in and curled up in the bed he'd made.

Moving towards his workstation, he pulled out some grasses and grains, and, as a special treat, an apple. He placed them all in a bowl and put them in front of the luxere, who munched on them happily. Only then did he return to the Loreseeker. [say]"Yes, well, you'll forgive me if I don't ask Sunjata if you're a slutty drunk."[/say] He gave her an awkward, but amused, grin.

Brow furrowing, he picked up the cup of tea. [say]"I've...had a glass or two. But I wouldn't say I've been drunk since the end of Longheat, and I haven't touched a drop in Leafchange."[/say] He shrugged, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Maea watched them from where she sat. The blanket lay crumpled over her legs still, and her hair was mussed from sleep, tangled and unruly. Lines had been drawn over her cheek from the pillow, fading now, and she nursed the cup of tea in her hands, relishing the warmth it offered. She blushed at Loren's quip and looked down, laughing rather awkwardly. [say]"It would make for an interesting conversation starter, but... I can see why you would rather not,"[/say] she said, trying to smile. Though question was of course whether Sunjata really would mind replying to that...

It was quite a relief to shift focus to Loren, and consider what he told her of his drinking habits. [say]"That's great,"[/say] Maea praised him, her expression warming with approval. [say]"Do you feel like you have a handle on it? That you wouldn't slip back into compulsion if you did get drunk?"[/say] That was what she'd tried to accomplish, mainly. To help him handle a growing addiction, and take away a source of escape that would not help him in the long run.

Rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, Loren grinned at Maea. [say]"I wouldn't be too worried about me and Sunjata running out of conversation starters."[/say] There was a wry tone to the healer's voice, and he cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. He took another sip of the tea just to cover the still slight and definitely awkward way his cheeks flushed.

Shrugging, he rolled the cup between his palms. [say]"I don't know."[/say] It came out with a sort of anguished honesty that caused his jaw to grow tense. Unable to meet her eyes, he glanced at the floor. [say]"Probably not, if it was just a...social gathering or a casual thing. But if something else happened..."[/say] His voice trailed off and he sighed.

Maea's head tilted as she turned her gaze to him, curious about the awkward tone. [say]"Is that so? What do you usually talk about then? I've actually no idea what you two do, besides drink and fight. Oh, and swim."[/say] Her tone was gently teasing, rather amused.

It was her turn to reach out, to place a hand on Loren's shoulder. His tension was palpable, and she tried her best to be soothing, calm. [say]"Then that's how it is,"[/say] she said, with simple acceptance. [say]"Just keep doing what works now. I'm really proud to see how far you've come in this short time... it's impressive."[/say] Maea squeezed her grip a little, smiling at him, her gaze warm.

Shrugging, Loren took a final sip of his tea before setting it on the tray he'd brought it over on. [say]"Our tragic backstories, latest mistakes, reasons we drown our sorrows, and dead lovers mostly."[/say] His tone was self-deprecating and he shot Maea a guiltily apologetic smile. [say]"Sorry. That probably wasn't exactly the answer you wanted to hear considering..."[/say] Voice trailing off, he waved a hand vaguely and awkwardly in the air.

Sighing, he rubbed his eyes then yawned again, though more out of habit than because he was actually tired. [say]"Thanks."[/say] He reached up to clasp her hand, and raised his head to meet her eyes. [say]"I couldn't have done it without you. Really."[/say] Squeezing her hand, he released it and rubbed his palms against his thigh. [say]"And I...it helped that I don't like that version of myself. The destructive one."[/say] He bit his lip and looked away.

Maea snorted. [say]"Contrary to popular belief, I don't always have to like everything people say to me,"[/say] she replied. [say]"I don't know why, but people seem to think I'm very fragile and breakable, and won't be able to handle uncomfortable truths."[/say] Maea's smile was wry and lopsided as she gazed at him, not actually offended. [say]"I've no intention of joining the list of dead lovers, so if you want to talk about Abasi and Lusea, then go ahead. I won't take anyone's head off for that."[/say] They wouldn't be gossiping about her, at least.

Loren thanked her, took her hand where it lay on his shoulder, and she shook her head gently. [say]"Thank yourself instead, Loren. You're the one who did all that hard work. I only dangled a carrot in front of you. And speaking of... seems like it's about time to give it to you? See if you can go completely without the drink this week, and I'll let you know what I have in mind... sound fair?"[/say]

Thank goodness for small things she still had control over.

Letting out a huff of laughter, Loren shrugged at Maea's response. [say]"It's not that. I just..."[/say] He bit his lip and rubbed his hands together awkwardly. [say]"I've been told that I don't care about people's responses to what I say and do. So I just worry when I'm thoughtless."[/say] Sighing, he rubbed his face.

Nodding slowly at her words, he glanced over at Astra. Smiling faintly at the sight of the luxere still happily munching on her own breakfast, he looked back at the Loreseeker. [say]"I'm not good at thanking myself, but okay. And...yes. Sounds fair."[/say] Still grinning weakly, he held out his hand as if to shake on the agreement.

She reached out to pat his head, half sympathetic and half teasing. [say]"Nothing thoughtless about answering a question when it's asked. Don't apologize, I'm not offended."[/say]

Switching the hand she held the cup in, Maea took Loren's offered one and shook it solemnly, the faintest trace of a smile on her lips. [say]"Good. It's a deal."[/say]

Raising the tea to her lips, Maea sipped it, savoring the fragrant warmth for a while. Her expression turned thoughtful, and she turned back to her friend. [say]"Loren... were you aware that I joined Jigano on his trip to find mageglass in the old mine outside Whitebrim?"[/say]

Smiling faintly at Maea's words, Loren nodded just once. His hands clenched and unclenched very briefly. [say]"Alright, if you say so."[/say] Scratching the back of his head, he found himself yawning again. He shot her an apologetic smile afterwards.

As she mentioned that she'd been on the trip to Whitebrim with Jigano, the healer's eyes narrowed slightly. He turned to face her more fully, and pressed his lips together. [say]"I did not."[/say] Sighing, he ran a nervous hand through his hair. [say]"I'm sorry to hear that. I take it that...what you found in the mines was..."[/say] Voice trailing off, he shrugged, giving her a sympathetic and understanding look.

[say]"I do."[/say] Her expression was smug, a cocky tilt of the head rather exaggerated as she grinned at Loren. Casually ignoring his apologies for yawning too, even though it made her own jaws ache with the need to mimic him.

He had not heard about her participation; not surprising really, and she had not expected it. [say]"... Was not very pleasant, no,"[/say] she finished his scentence. [say]"A lot of nothing, and body parts stuffed into crates."[/say] But Maea waved a dismissive hand at the sympathy; that's not why she brought up the subject. [say]"Thing is, Jigano never told me if there had been any other attempts, or if others had been more successful elsewhere. You don't happen to know anything about it, do you?"[/say]

It was a subject left unfinished in her mind, and Maea wanted something else to think about, something that wasn't about her.

[say]"Mmmmmm."[/say] It was a hum of agreement and acknowledgement, though Loren gave Maea an understanding look. [say]"I'm sorry you had to experience that."[/say] He rubbed his hands together as his eyes narrowed. [say]"For what it's worth, we flooded those mines."[/say] There was a slightly hesitation in his voice, and he gave her a cautious glance before looking away.

At her question, though, he blinked and looked back at her. [say]"I led an expedition to the Fangs. We didn't bring any mageglass back, if that's what you're asking. Honestly, it might be a myth like Neron told me it was when we first met."[/say] He shrugged, though he couldn't help the guilt from uncoiling in his gut.

Still, he didn't know that the strange substance they'd found was mageglass, and he didn't want Maea seeking it out. Given that it had guardians and given the dangers they'd encountered in the caverns, he wanted to ensure that only those who were ready went in search of it.