Hotaru
"You'll find I usually am," Hotaru manages as her eyes linger on the color in Maeve's cheeks, levity still feeling a little forced with all that is still unsaid pooling between them. It feels as if the water is rising; above her ankles, in the hollows behind her knees, the shallows of her collarbones. Only Maeve's hand rising to cup her cheek preventing it from rising any higher where it might choke and drown her. Their shared, mingling breaths are the only warmth apart from Maeve's skin against her own that she feels. Even her insides feel cold, torn between reactions. Wanting to pull away, to center herself. To push away, overwhelmed and defensive, clinging to her hurt. To pull closer, to give in, when that has only ever worsened things for her in the past. Hotaru may be stubborn, but even she has to learn eventually that certain choices only lead to pain.
Gratitude seeks to rise on her tongue a second time when Maeve reveals her innermost thoughts, but the assertion that there was no need silences her, tongue like cotton in her mouth. The burn in her eyes this time feels bittersweet. Potential just within reach, and yet she cannot grasp it. So many other factors that Maeve would never consider awash inside Hotaru, torturing her with her own awareness, the sharpness and cruelty of her own mind.
"I miss you too," she allows, low and broken in undertone as they stand huddled close against the wind, foreheads pressed together and Maeve's pink-tinged fingers against Ru's cheek. But lays on her tongue like a heavy coin, weighing it down until she can't force it past her teeth. What good would it do to say it? Maeve will see soon enough the reasons why. Building one bridge doesn't mean repairing the old one, with all its previous connotations and ties. Maybe she can do this, make this work, so long as she doesn't allow herself to cross the line she has ignored too many times before. "We just...start small. Back to square one." It's a hand offered across the distance, an agreement to begin again, to see where it takes them.
Gratitude seeks to rise on her tongue a second time when Maeve reveals her innermost thoughts, but the assertion that there was no need silences her, tongue like cotton in her mouth. The burn in her eyes this time feels bittersweet. Potential just within reach, and yet she cannot grasp it. So many other factors that Maeve would never consider awash inside Hotaru, torturing her with her own awareness, the sharpness and cruelty of her own mind.
"I miss you too," she allows, low and broken in undertone as they stand huddled close against the wind, foreheads pressed together and Maeve's pink-tinged fingers against Ru's cheek. But lays on her tongue like a heavy coin, weighing it down until she can't force it past her teeth. What good would it do to say it? Maeve will see soon enough the reasons why. Building one bridge doesn't mean repairing the old one, with all its previous connotations and ties. Maybe she can do this, make this work, so long as she doesn't allow herself to cross the line she has ignored too many times before. "We just...start small. Back to square one." It's a hand offered across the distance, an agreement to begin again, to see where it takes them.
i understand you now to be both companion and adversary
a familiar thorn and threat
a familiar thorn and threat
