you are such a soft and messy thing, nobody knows how to take care of you
The panic she feels is a horrible, gut-twisting thing that makes her feel sick and clammy, and she didn't even know it was something she could feel until this very moment. Hotaru has burned so many bridges in her life, rebuilt a few, and given and received a few second chances. But she's never been so scared to fuck this up. They'd lost each other once - both of them, because neither was innocent in that mess - but she can't stand to do it again. And that's exactly why he smells the same to her, because she's been looking for his ghost in every shadow since he left.
The haze in her brain only stills and quiets when his hands push her wet hair back to cup her face, jolting her out of her panic as if being plucked straight out of the water she was drowning in. Meeting his eyes, she stares unblinking as her heart slows from a rabbitting pace she hadn't noticed it climbing to, hands rising to hold onto his forearms and tilt her head into his touch. "Sorry," she whispers reflexively; though he'd just told her she didn't have to, it's an apology better suited for having freaked out so readily.
A little calmer now, his frankness makes her cheeks go hot, prompting a flustered chuckle as she closes her eyes under the premise of comfort - when really she just can't look into his own. "I should've known you'd understand." They're in the same position, even if Hotaru still can't conceive of him holding any fondness for her to that level. "You are still that ridiculous, reckless, overwhelming force of a man that I fell in love with." Opening her eyes, she lifts one hand to touch his own cheek. "Even after everything." Whether she means their breakup or the war is unclear. But she can still see it all in him even now.
Laughing quietly as he tilts his forehead to hers, Hotaru's hand slides past his cheek to gently cup the nape of his neck, luxuriating in the increased closeness. She has nothing to say to that lighthearted statement, but she can't let go of one last thing she wants to say. "I know we're still figuring this out. But I can't stand the idea of losing you again. Please be patient with me." A quiet plea that promises she'll do the same if he can weather these moments where she messes up.
The haze in her brain only stills and quiets when his hands push her wet hair back to cup her face, jolting her out of her panic as if being plucked straight out of the water she was drowning in. Meeting his eyes, she stares unblinking as her heart slows from a rabbitting pace she hadn't noticed it climbing to, hands rising to hold onto his forearms and tilt her head into his touch. "Sorry," she whispers reflexively; though he'd just told her she didn't have to, it's an apology better suited for having freaked out so readily.
A little calmer now, his frankness makes her cheeks go hot, prompting a flustered chuckle as she closes her eyes under the premise of comfort - when really she just can't look into his own. "I should've known you'd understand." They're in the same position, even if Hotaru still can't conceive of him holding any fondness for her to that level. "You are still that ridiculous, reckless, overwhelming force of a man that I fell in love with." Opening her eyes, she lifts one hand to touch his own cheek. "Even after everything." Whether she means their breakup or the war is unclear. But she can still see it all in him even now.
Laughing quietly as he tilts his forehead to hers, Hotaru's hand slides past his cheek to gently cup the nape of his neck, luxuriating in the increased closeness. She has nothing to say to that lighthearted statement, but she can't let go of one last thing she wants to say. "I know we're still figuring this out. But I can't stand the idea of losing you again. Please be patient with me." A quiet plea that promises she'll do the same if he can weather these moments where she messes up.
