Hotaru
I don’t care, I’m in love
(Stop before it’s too late)
The closing of his side of the bond only makes her tighten her hands in his shirt until she worries either her fingers will go straight through or her hands will go numb. It feels like he's leaving her even when he's standing right there. (Stop before it’s too late)
She doesn't want his apologies. She wants him to fix this. Fix the part of her that still loves him, that started waiting and never knew when to stop. She wants to shake him, demand it, force him to do something that will finally make her let go. Instead, she curls into his arms and shakes. Hotaru isn't sure if that's an improvement.
"If I'm not broken then how do I fix it? And how do I know?" Because Sunjata knows, but he has also given up on opening his heart to new people. What if that is her fate? Through the bond these thoughts are so clear he can surely parse them, though she doesn't consciously give them words, so broken open that even her internal monologue is clear.
She'd kissed George so many times, and each time had been pleasant. But just pleasant. Was it a fulfillment of her touch-starvation, then? Nothing more? Was she addicted to toxicity? Was that why she'd been so ravaged by Thranduil, Ashamin, Sunjata himself? Would she never be free, even with an opportunity at simple, easy happiness so close at hand?
Pulling back from him she looks up at him desperately, tormented by sleepless nights and the fear that after all she has lost, this too has been sacrificed. "Kiss me." A command, a plea, it doesn't matter how he takes it. She just needs him to.
And I still don’t know why it’s happening
(But I make the same old mistakes)
(But I make the same old mistakes)
