Hotaru
I don’t care, I’m in love
(Stop before it’s too late)
She can’t tell if the burn in the back of her throat is the sting of tears or something akin to liquor down the throat of an alcoholic. She’s an addict, and even four years couldn’t keep her from reaching for that bottle again. Because the moment he kisses her it’s like she has opened her eyes and realized everything she thought was once straight had merely been a trick of the eye, because her axis has centered and the strain behind her eyes has disappeared as the world rights itself. (Stop before it’s too late)
And isn’t that the worst part? Because she doesn’t even have the wherewithal to dread or celebrate her revelations, too consumed by the kiss itself.
By their standards it’s painfully simple, and yet it feels like every dead nerve is waking up and lighting itself on fire to spite her for all this time wasted. He holds her firmly, not like she’s glass, or like she needs protecting - the way George had. Her hands, formerly gripping his shirt, push upward and over his shoulders with such immediate need that it bunches the fabric until she can get her hands in his hair to pull him closer. Arching into the space his body makes for her until every ounce of open air is crushed between them. The bond between them only makes it that much harder to think, because for once she can feel how he feels, and she thinks if they’d had that before then it might have saved them.
But for him he won’t feel a homecoming, because for Ru it’s like one final stone crumbles and the void she was living in is pierced with light that nearly blinds her. A swift, immediate resolution to a loneliness and isolation that she has been carrying for so very long. And that’s precisely why the tears sneak onto her cheeks; she can feel. She’s not broken. She’s just doomed in a different way, because she can’t find it in herself to pull back. Telling herself just one more second, just to be sure. Then I can quit.
And I still don’t know why it’s happening
(But I make the same old mistakes)
(But I make the same old mistakes)
