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Sohalia

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow

She shifted uncomfortably, fully aware that at this point, her news was likely to be devastating. And she hadn't kept it from him on purpose, really. Maybe at first, when she'd been so afraid of anyone knowing, but as time had passed, she'd simply tried to leave it behind, to not think about it. When she'd seen him after his maman had come home, it had hardly seemed an appropriate time to share, and then after that, they were together, and she'd been so happy, and then she'd become a leader, and on and on it went, a train of excuses that sounded hollow in her mind.

The bottom line was that she should have told him. And she could never take that back.

Sudden tears filled her eyes as she avoided his gaze, feeling deeply as though she was stuck in a loop of only hurting the people around her, already catastrophizing Jude's reaction in her mind. "I - it was all my fault," she told him, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her tears at bay. "If I'd been smarter or stronger, it wouldn't have happened, and I just - I didn't want you to look at me differently, and I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to worry you, and I just - I didn't know how. And then by the time I wanted to tell you, it just... there was so much happening, and it never felt like the right time, and then it was too late."

She looked up at him pleadingly, begging him silently to forgive her. "I'm so sorry, Jude," she said. "I'll tell you anything you want to know, I promise."

Don't believe anything you say anymore
In the morn, in the morning