So here's to everything coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Things were different now in a way that Soh couldn't quite put her finger on, distant and disconnected in a way that they had never been before. A part of her longed to comfort him in the way she would have in the time before their split - to reach for him, to pull him close, to run her fingers through his dark curls and comfort him in any way she knew how - but another, angrier part of her resisted the call, looking on with a rigidity that had no place in Soh's soft, gentle nature.
So maybe she wasn't making sense - but it wasn't just to Jude. She wasn't making sense to herself, either, and she suddenly wished that he would leave, that she could have some time to gather her thoughts, that she could measure out how she wanted to respond. If he'd answered my letters, she thought waspishly, and was immediately appalled and enraged at once. The conflicting energies spinning through her mind had her looking at her lap, silver eyes an abnormally stormy grey.
"I didn't mean..." What did she mean? He didn't want to come to her, and that was fine (was it?). But he could've said something to let her know he was alive, and it was that silence that cut her to the core. She shook off those thoughts, trying to focus. She felt scattered, like she was being pulled in a million different directions, feeling a trillion different things. Love, anger, affection, fear, compassion, indifference - all mingled in her mind until she didn't know what she was feeling anymore. She loved Jude - she did - but there was something terrible and different and wrong in her heart that hadn't been there before, and it all culminated in one repeating thought: that he didn't trust her anymore.
Whether that was right or wrong was another thing entirely.
"What do you mean, you're under suspicion?" she asked, her brows knitting together as she clung to the only thing that stood out to her through the garbled mess of her thoughts. "You didn't do anything wrong." Her gaze flashed up to his face, momentarily fierce and protective, as though daring anyone to say otherwise. Jude was many things, but a killer? Absolutely not. And for a moment, it was like old times, a shard of her shattered soul showing through the haze. "And you reported it." To Koa, sneered the angry voice in the back of her mind. She shoved it aside. "You did the right thing."
So maybe she wasn't making sense - but it wasn't just to Jude. She wasn't making sense to herself, either, and she suddenly wished that he would leave, that she could have some time to gather her thoughts, that she could measure out how she wanted to respond. If he'd answered my letters, she thought waspishly, and was immediately appalled and enraged at once. The conflicting energies spinning through her mind had her looking at her lap, silver eyes an abnormally stormy grey.
"I didn't mean..." What did she mean? He didn't want to come to her, and that was fine (was it?). But he could've said something to let her know he was alive, and it was that silence that cut her to the core. She shook off those thoughts, trying to focus. She felt scattered, like she was being pulled in a million different directions, feeling a trillion different things. Love, anger, affection, fear, compassion, indifference - all mingled in her mind until she didn't know what she was feeling anymore. She loved Jude - she did - but there was something terrible and different and wrong in her heart that hadn't been there before, and it all culminated in one repeating thought: that he didn't trust her anymore.
Whether that was right or wrong was another thing entirely.
"What do you mean, you're under suspicion?" she asked, her brows knitting together as she clung to the only thing that stood out to her through the garbled mess of her thoughts. "You didn't do anything wrong." Her gaze flashed up to his face, momentarily fierce and protective, as though daring anyone to say otherwise. Jude was many things, but a killer? Absolutely not. And for a moment, it was like old times, a shard of her shattered soul showing through the haze. "And you reported it." To Koa, sneered the angry voice in the back of her mind. She shoved it aside. "You did the right thing."
Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore
Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore
Sohalia
