a dream from which we cannot wake

Jude

In my head I am hunting for myself
but I come up empty again

It's such an expected response that it startles a tiny, shy laugh out of Jude. Impressed as he always is by bold types like her. The warmth of her side against his is like a balm, stronger than any healing the Fountain could provide. Companionship, physicality, compassion - all things he needs more than lessening the ache in his knuckles and ribs.

"I've always been quiet I guess," he murmurs, not really certain he knows the reason why, or even knows how to stop being that kind of person if he ever wanted to change. "Probably would have had a better chance in the fight if I wasn't drunk though, huh?" He bumps his elbow against hers, smile tremulous but present for the first time since he left Sohalia's house. Maybe this is where the recognition should start to set in; Noe gives the same air of sass and confidence that Koa does, and even pulls the same out of Jude despite the fact he's not exactly practiced at it.

Weirdly enough simply hearing that it's a lot of shit is validation he didn't know he needed. Recognition of just how much he has had to swallow in the past season - the past day, really. It's harder to think about writing off his dad. His dad has never done something like this in the past. It doesn't make any sense. He's more confused and lost than hurt, though he suspects it will sink in soon. Faster if he can't get ahold of his dad for a proper explanation.

Leaning subtly into Noe like a nervous alley cat testing if someone can be trusted, Jude huffs a broken laugh. "I think I can count on one hand the times I've been angry where someone can see," he admits sheepishly, wondering if it really is as normal as she says or if he's just a freak. Smile slipping away, Jude frowns down at the flask in his hands. "I thought Sohalia was like that too. I never thought she'd be angry about...well, I guess I can't blame her." He can't even finish it, can't properly express the hurt, because he rushes to her defense too immediately. Always too forgiving of the people who disappoint and hurt him. "I was gone a long time."

Speaking of manners - they come back to him in a wave, making him jerk slightly and remove one hand to hold between the both of them with a tiny, shy smile. "Um, sorry. I dumped everything on you and didn't even get your name. I'm Jude." He's doing everything more than backwards at this point, it's a miracle she hasn't run away screaming.

the night is a cavern
I am underneath it, inside it, anything but free of it