Jude
and I'm sick of waiting patiently
His face twists into something mean, something cruel. Noe had opened the door for him to give space and validation to his anger, and now it's the only armor he has, alone as he feels in the world. "It wasn't like that? You seem to say that a lot, Sohalia," he spits, and her full name feels sharp with intention between his teeth. He doesn't care where his dad is. He could have left Caido for good - Jude doesn't care.
(He cares so much it hurts. He cares so much and he's bleeding out. He cares so much and it's tearing him apart and he doesn't know how to make it stop.)
The click of her teeth as she realizes her mistake should be satisfying, but Jude is too angry for satisfaction. "You don't get to be the one to fix that anymore," he points out, voice low and slightly shaky, though he's not sure if it's anger or just the hurt welling up through the cracks. "Me being hurt didn't matter when you were hiding feelings for someone else. Me being hurt didn't matter when people tried to kill me and my brother on your schedule." I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't, I didn't, why won't you forgive me? His knuckles ache around the door handle, creaking slightly beneath his white-fisted grip. "Why does it matter now, Soh?" This time he can't keep her nickname out of his mouth, and he regrets it immediately, regrets showing her that she still has any power over him. "Because you can use me to make yourself look good, like a charity case? How am I supposed to believe you actually care?"
Stepping slightly toward her through the open door, he stares down at her through his too-long curls, the bags under his eyes and the bruises around his temple making him look darker and older than he is. "Tell me, have you even talked to Koa about Edmund and I's interrogations yet?" Because he's willing to bet everything that she hasn't, because all her concern, her outrage at Jude being suspected, didn't mean shit. Not once he wasn't with her anymore.
(He cares so much it hurts. He cares so much and he's bleeding out. He cares so much and it's tearing him apart and he doesn't know how to make it stop.)
The click of her teeth as she realizes her mistake should be satisfying, but Jude is too angry for satisfaction. "You don't get to be the one to fix that anymore," he points out, voice low and slightly shaky, though he's not sure if it's anger or just the hurt welling up through the cracks. "Me being hurt didn't matter when you were hiding feelings for someone else. Me being hurt didn't matter when people tried to kill me and my brother on your schedule." I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't, I didn't, why won't you forgive me? His knuckles ache around the door handle, creaking slightly beneath his white-fisted grip. "Why does it matter now, Soh?" This time he can't keep her nickname out of his mouth, and he regrets it immediately, regrets showing her that she still has any power over him. "Because you can use me to make yourself look good, like a charity case? How am I supposed to believe you actually care?"
Stepping slightly toward her through the open door, he stares down at her through his too-long curls, the bags under his eyes and the bruises around his temple making him look darker and older than he is. "Tell me, have you even talked to Koa about Edmund and I's interrogations yet?" Because he's willing to bet everything that she hasn't, because all her concern, her outrage at Jude being suspected, didn't mean shit. Not once he wasn't with her anymore.
for someone that won't ever arrive
