The skies are black with lead-filled rain
a morbid painting on display
a morbid painting on display
She can tell he has mistaken her words immediately, and winces just slightly. Leaving is already going to be painful, and the last thing she wants is for this to hurt any more than that, to be shrouded in confusion or misunderstanding. "It was," she reassures, "and I thrived in Halo for many years. Stayed even when Sunjata and Nate were in Torchline, because I couldn't bear to leave." It feels strange to say when they are out amidst the sand and dunes, when she wishes to spread her hands wide and gesture to all of Halo before them, spread her gratitude like droplets of rain across the tundra. "She gave me more than I could have dreamed when I first arrived; my home, my family. And over the years it only increased - more friends than I've ever had in my life, a safety net, a support network. Purpose with the Academy, when I had to keep going." Her love is unmistakable, almost ardent as each word rushes faster, spurred by the great welling of loyalty she has to what has come to be so much more than snow and stone. It makes the pause as she catches her breath and falls to her thoughts all the more poignant.
When she speaks again, it's with a softer tone. "Halo is...so much to me. But she gave me everything I could have wanted - and those things aren't bound by where I live. Not anymore." And she desperately wants him to understand that she finds that idea freeing. Knowing that she can move away and her family and friends will still come when she calls, still seek her out and help shoulder her burdens, even if she cannot call herself a Halovian anymore. As a child, she would have scoffed at the idea, because regional identity had made cloisters out of Helovia's terrain. Perhaps it's old age and becoming a boring soul, but Hotaru thinks maybe that kind of love - the loyal kind - was all she'd ever wanted, and not power like she'd always thought.
They have come so far in life, for him to not shield away his thoughts and feelings from her in the Bond. It prompts Ru to reach her hand for his, touching her fingertips to the side of his palm so he might decide if he will take it or not. "We will not always agree on what we think is best for me," she murmurs, because history has already proven it true. "But for the first time, I have a net to catch me that is wider than your hands alone." For those had been the only ones to rise from the flames to cradle her when she had lost everything in the blaze. "Now, I can try something new, and be certain with every bone in my body that if I fail - if I'm hurt again, as you so fear - that I will have an entire region of people to welcome me home and lift me back up." Hotaru's smile is an emotional thing, eyes a little glassy with old pain. "It's already happened once, right?" Because she wouldn't have survived the end of the war without all of Halo closing rank around her, helping her take each faltering step, breathing air into her lungs when she couldn't stand to breathe any longer.
With that kind of devotion burned forever into her brain, she can jump fearless and hopeful into this new chapter with Sunjata, knowing that even if she is not strong enough to withstand a fall from grace, Halo is. And they will carry her through it as repayment for all the times she has done the same for them.
When she speaks again, it's with a softer tone. "Halo is...so much to me. But she gave me everything I could have wanted - and those things aren't bound by where I live. Not anymore." And she desperately wants him to understand that she finds that idea freeing. Knowing that she can move away and her family and friends will still come when she calls, still seek her out and help shoulder her burdens, even if she cannot call herself a Halovian anymore. As a child, she would have scoffed at the idea, because regional identity had made cloisters out of Helovia's terrain. Perhaps it's old age and becoming a boring soul, but Hotaru thinks maybe that kind of love - the loyal kind - was all she'd ever wanted, and not power like she'd always thought.
They have come so far in life, for him to not shield away his thoughts and feelings from her in the Bond. It prompts Ru to reach her hand for his, touching her fingertips to the side of his palm so he might decide if he will take it or not. "We will not always agree on what we think is best for me," she murmurs, because history has already proven it true. "But for the first time, I have a net to catch me that is wider than your hands alone." For those had been the only ones to rise from the flames to cradle her when she had lost everything in the blaze. "Now, I can try something new, and be certain with every bone in my body that if I fail - if I'm hurt again, as you so fear - that I will have an entire region of people to welcome me home and lift me back up." Hotaru's smile is an emotional thing, eyes a little glassy with old pain. "It's already happened once, right?" Because she wouldn't have survived the end of the war without all of Halo closing rank around her, helping her take each faltering step, breathing air into her lungs when she couldn't stand to breathe any longer.
With that kind of devotion burned forever into her brain, she can jump fearless and hopeful into this new chapter with Sunjata, knowing that even if she is not strong enough to withstand a fall from grace, Halo is. And they will carry her through it as repayment for all the times she has done the same for them.
This is the night that young love died
Buried at each others sides
Buried at each others sides
