Maea
And it feels like fear
Like I'll disappear
Like I'll disappear
"Renewal, huh." That touched a nerve, if only because it was something she desperately wanted for herself but struggled to obtain. How did you leave behind the pain of the past, when the past was all you had? Moving forward was damnably difficult when you didn't know where to go.
Abandoning the griffin to cradle the teacup in both her hands, the warmth seeping into her palms soothed her enough that she at least kept from blurting out whatever came to mind. In a strangers house, drinking his tea, that would be impolite. Unhinged. Even so, her voice sounded raw when she finally spoke.
"It's just difficult to wrap my head around. Not so very long ago, people here were shunned and avoided. Last time I tried leave, someone almost killed me. And now -" Sucking in a deep breath, regretting bringing her own experiences up because of what it exposed about her, the former Ascended shook her head. "I knew things would be different since so long time had passed while I was frozen, but I had no idea how quickly people would move on."
Warily gazing across the table at Noah, unaware of who or what he was, she had no idea how he would receive the news. Was she still condemned for what she had been, or did the mark of Dygra - the horns, the tail - absolve her? Was that what peace was? You stopped talking about the pain and the fear, shook hands and moved on? Maea had never loved the Voice, yet a single snap decision had placed her firmly on her side, which meant she was part of the losing team. Did that matter anymore, or was she just... behind, lagging after everyone who'd had time to process and heal and grow?
She didn't know. Wasn't sure why she was even talking about this with someone she didn't know; it made her head spin to realize that she was exposing herself in this way, when she had no idea what it might result in. Helping the region did not equate helping the dregs of a former enemy - and she thought she knew which side this man had been on, given his earlier remarks.
Abandoning the griffin to cradle the teacup in both her hands, the warmth seeping into her palms soothed her enough that she at least kept from blurting out whatever came to mind. In a strangers house, drinking his tea, that would be impolite. Unhinged. Even so, her voice sounded raw when she finally spoke.
"It's just difficult to wrap my head around. Not so very long ago, people here were shunned and avoided. Last time I tried leave, someone almost killed me. And now -" Sucking in a deep breath, regretting bringing her own experiences up because of what it exposed about her, the former Ascended shook her head. "I knew things would be different since so long time had passed while I was frozen, but I had no idea how quickly people would move on."
Warily gazing across the table at Noah, unaware of who or what he was, she had no idea how he would receive the news. Was she still condemned for what she had been, or did the mark of Dygra - the horns, the tail - absolve her? Was that what peace was? You stopped talking about the pain and the fear, shook hands and moved on? Maea had never loved the Voice, yet a single snap decision had placed her firmly on her side, which meant she was part of the losing team. Did that matter anymore, or was she just... behind, lagging after everyone who'd had time to process and heal and grow?
She didn't know. Wasn't sure why she was even talking about this with someone she didn't know; it made her head spin to realize that she was exposing herself in this way, when she had no idea what it might result in. Helping the region did not equate helping the dregs of a former enemy - and she thought she knew which side this man had been on, given his earlier remarks.
Gets so hard to steer
Yet I go on
Yet I go on
