DEIMOS
They could parallel one another in the number of souls gone and abandoned – and he knew a portion of his discontent had been just that: the fear of losing another. That it had been someone despised on the other side had only rankled edges further, until trepidation turned to anger and courted multitudes of misunderstandings. And he wasn’t someone to beg, to unfurl waves of selfishness, to ask and crave them to stay, even if the emotions flooded the overburdened portions of his heart. He’d always let them go, and presumed, perhaps rightly so, that he’d never been enough for them to stay.
So he penned a letter when the words and wounds had subsided, when other phrases and attempts had been extended, and wisdom granted from those far more capable than himself. It did not mean the Sword fully understood the complexities, but he’d tried to launch over more than just his bias and spite; a difficult notion even on his best of days. And maybe he was grateful for the silence, for opportunities to see her alive and well, and he should’ve merely reveled in that instead of every other painful nuance circumventing between them.
His hands maneuvered debris and tossed it to a nearby pile, keeping the restless and exhausted coils of his soul from fettering into pieces. Her murmur surprised him briefly, enough for his head to raise and eyes motion in her direction, pausing momentarily into stillness. Then there were more words echoing throughout, and her statements ached in his soul, brushing right alongside hordes of queries he wouldn’t permit to extend along the merest thought.
Instead, one hand went to press against his brow, concealing the emotion outwardly as best he could. You are so much more than what you are wandering towards he wanted to say to her – to remind her that there was nothing she couldn’t do, to not settle into wakes and walks with a fool, but they relented as soon as they sparked. “I did not want to lose you too,” finally found its way to his mouth, in a quiet rumble, Zuriel snorting loudly nearby. An admittance, however painful, as his downcast glance found her hand, and his fingers followed suit.
So he penned a letter when the words and wounds had subsided, when other phrases and attempts had been extended, and wisdom granted from those far more capable than himself. It did not mean the Sword fully understood the complexities, but he’d tried to launch over more than just his bias and spite; a difficult notion even on his best of days. And maybe he was grateful for the silence, for opportunities to see her alive and well, and he should’ve merely reveled in that instead of every other painful nuance circumventing between them.
His hands maneuvered debris and tossed it to a nearby pile, keeping the restless and exhausted coils of his soul from fettering into pieces. Her murmur surprised him briefly, enough for his head to raise and eyes motion in her direction, pausing momentarily into stillness. Then there were more words echoing throughout, and her statements ached in his soul, brushing right alongside hordes of queries he wouldn’t permit to extend along the merest thought.
Instead, one hand went to press against his brow, concealing the emotion outwardly as best he could. You are so much more than what you are wandering towards he wanted to say to her – to remind her that there was nothing she couldn’t do, to not settle into wakes and walks with a fool, but they relented as soon as they sparked. “I did not want to lose you too,” finally found its way to his mouth, in a quiet rumble, Zuriel snorting loudly nearby. An admittance, however painful, as his downcast glance found her hand, and his fingers followed suit.
i'm in the mood to dissolve in the sky
