Harper
I'll keep breaking my own heart with dreams
I know I'm still not what I want to be
I know I'm still not what I want to be
He's taller, Harper can't help but think even as his son brushes him off, cold and distant in a way Harper has never known him to be. Certainly never with him. They had always been the only two left. Eternally in each other's pockets, always sharing worries and dreams readily as they spent endless days in their little bit of home they'd cobbled together from the rubble. Only ever made better when Edmund would visit, or they would infiltrate his apartment for family nights and impromptu dinners. He has earned this, but it still tears his chest open one rib at a time.
He moves toward Jude, helplessly assuming that he can hug this out, that if Jude could just see how much Harper has missed him, that -
There is something sharp and mean on his son's face when he spins to forbid exactly that, and Harper's heart pangs again seeing Phoebe's eyes in their son's face. He's just like you when you're angry, he thinks, and he hopes she is laughing in his face wherever she is right now, because he deserves it.
Jude has never been the type to be cruel. He always bottled up his feelings, swallowed down his objections, and smiled his way obediently through all the unfairness of the world. Harper hadn't been blind to that. He hates himself all the more for having hoped that he could have been granted that easy forgiveness one last time. His son's words lash him to the bone, and he winces visibly, expression crumpling. "Jude. Please. I know I messed up - and I know that doesn't even begin to describe how bad I actually did." He edges forward another step, testing his limits. "I ran away, I was a coward. I did it all for me, and I didn't think about anyone else. I know I hurt you - but I -"
He moves toward Jude, helplessly assuming that he can hug this out, that if Jude could just see how much Harper has missed him, that -
There is something sharp and mean on his son's face when he spins to forbid exactly that, and Harper's heart pangs again seeing Phoebe's eyes in their son's face. He's just like you when you're angry, he thinks, and he hopes she is laughing in his face wherever she is right now, because he deserves it.
Jude has never been the type to be cruel. He always bottled up his feelings, swallowed down his objections, and smiled his way obediently through all the unfairness of the world. Harper hadn't been blind to that. He hates himself all the more for having hoped that he could have been granted that easy forgiveness one last time. His son's words lash him to the bone, and he winces visibly, expression crumpling. "Jude. Please. I know I messed up - and I know that doesn't even begin to describe how bad I actually did." He edges forward another step, testing his limits. "I ran away, I was a coward. I did it all for me, and I didn't think about anyone else. I know I hurt you - but I -"
But what more do you want from me?
