Tell me, am I good enough?

Harper

I'll keep breaking my own heart with dreams
I know I'm still not what I want to be

Harper flinches back, and fully steps backward when Jude's finger digs into his chest. The comparison is deeply painful given the wealth of grief and anger that still lies buried in his own bones over those abandonments, and he knows that's exactly why Jude chose it.

"It's different," he argues, though it's weak at best. "I had to do it. I had to. I was losing grip on everything good about myself," he emphasizes, gaining a bit more strength to his tone as his own lips pull into a severe frown. "I knew it was going to hurt you, but you had so many people there to support you while I was gone. I couldn't be a good dad to you the way I was." And he doesn't feel like much of one now, so he wonders if any of it was even worth it.

"I couldn't lay those concerns on you, Jude. I'm your father. I had to make a choice to try and save myself, so that I could come back better." He hadn't anticipated to be back so soon, but maybe that's for the best. Harper isn't sure he'll ever be fully changed and content, but he has managed to move on from Phoebe and Maeve, and accept his faults in trying to lead Torchline. Isn't that enough?

But what more do you want from me?