I appreciate the offer. Am I terrible for accepting it right away, even though I never planned on reaching out to you? It feels selfish, though I suppose that's nothing new, coming from me.
Truth is, I feel terrible about a lot of things. The ghosts I was talking about have as much to do with my own actions as with all that's been lost here. I only escaped death by allying myself with the Voice, and only because I thought I could return to a man who had already discarded me when my needs did not match up with his. When I found that there was nothing waiting for me like I had believed, I did things I can never forgive myself for - things no one should ever forgive in anyone. And I can't mourn her end; even though she gave me life again, I never wanted her to win the war. I should have been content to let that be the end, and returned to Mort where I belong.
But instead of accepting death when it came for me a second time, I keep clinging to life, like I have any right to it. I swore myself to yet another Goddess I don't know, and I keep wondering whether my promises are worth anything at all since I keep breaking them.
You are a bit of a healer, right? Is there a remedy for self loathing? Any cure for this aimlessness, that leave me crestfallen for where to go next?
I am exactly where I was ten years ago; even with intent, I don't know what to do with this existence. I feel more Hollowed than the Grounds have ever been.
Selfishly, a friend only in need
Maea
Truth is, I feel terrible about a lot of things. The ghosts I was talking about have as much to do with my own actions as with all that's been lost here. I only escaped death by allying myself with the Voice, and only because I thought I could return to a man who had already discarded me when my needs did not match up with his. When I found that there was nothing waiting for me like I had believed, I did things I can never forgive myself for - things no one should ever forgive in anyone. And I can't mourn her end; even though she gave me life again, I never wanted her to win the war. I should have been content to let that be the end, and returned to Mort where I belong.
But instead of accepting death when it came for me a second time, I keep clinging to life, like I have any right to it. I swore myself to yet another Goddess I don't know, and I keep wondering whether my promises are worth anything at all since I keep breaking them.
You are a bit of a healer, right? Is there a remedy for self loathing? Any cure for this aimlessness, that leave me crestfallen for where to go next?
I am exactly where I was ten years ago; even with intent, I don't know what to do with this existence. I feel more Hollowed than the Grounds have ever been.
Selfishly, a friend only in need
Maea
