Sky above, Earth below, Fire within
For her part, Maea felt the onrush of emotion not her own like a tidal wave that nearly swept her off her feet. The grasp on her hand was the only thing reminding her of where she ended and began and for a moment even that was tenuous at best. Holding on to Remi she swayed like a reed in the wind, wide eyed and overwhelmed. Fear of losing herself reared its ugly head; she squashed it down and began sorting through the impression with stubborn determination, separating his experiences from her own.
"I don't know about that," she murmured hoarsely, only realizing that her cheeks were wet with tears when she blinked and found her eyes stinging. "If strength is putting one foot in front of the other... but I don't feel it." Her jaw ached. Her chest burned too, with the strength of the love that lived within the Lullaby. "Really, I'm just... afraid."
She saw it clearly now, with his feelings as a scale to measure against. All she ever did was build walls against fear. Against pain, and the threat of pain. She didn't reach for people because they might leave. She didn't build dreams, because the pain of having them crushed was too unbearable. Nor did she allow herself to care about much at all - because what would she do if she began pouring all the vast oceans of passion she carried locked up behind a dam of apathy? It would flood everything and everyone around her and last time that happened it resulted in a burning clinic.
Drawing a breath, Maea managed to focus enough to meet Remi's gaze. She smiled. "Your family is lucky to have you. I hope I never end up on your shitlist..."
"I don't know about that," she murmured hoarsely, only realizing that her cheeks were wet with tears when she blinked and found her eyes stinging. "If strength is putting one foot in front of the other... but I don't feel it." Her jaw ached. Her chest burned too, with the strength of the love that lived within the Lullaby. "Really, I'm just... afraid."
She saw it clearly now, with his feelings as a scale to measure against. All she ever did was build walls against fear. Against pain, and the threat of pain. She didn't reach for people because they might leave. She didn't build dreams, because the pain of having them crushed was too unbearable. Nor did she allow herself to care about much at all - because what would she do if she began pouring all the vast oceans of passion she carried locked up behind a dam of apathy? It would flood everything and everyone around her and last time that happened it resulted in a burning clinic.
Drawing a breath, Maea managed to focus enough to meet Remi's gaze. She smiled. "Your family is lucky to have you. I hope I never end up on your shitlist..."
maea
