I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see.
Her snowball missing didn't annoy her as much as Maea's ignorance. "Maybe you're rebelling against the state of the world? Most people would just roll over and accept the change, but you just have to go around asking questions and stirring up trouble. You wouldn't consider your little 'experiment' an attempt to fight this change?" The anger evident on the other Ancient's face doesn't surprise her. She asked for this, after all. What else did she expect?
She began preparing her next bundle of ammunition as Maea did the same, listening to her complain about "not knowing what she wanted to do." Thal scoffed. "You just told me what you want to do: help others. And you're already finding ways to do that. That's why I could offer myself for the experiment. Because I'm expendable. You have people relying on the answers you uncover and family in the afterlife to make proud." Each word was growled out, revealing the real reason she was so frustrated with Maea. Not because she had suffered or had an innate desire to help others, but because she had purpose and yet she continued to take it all for granted. Thal hadn't let anyone close enough to show her uncertainty or insecurities about all this. Instead, she chose the hard, nonchalant mask of sarcasm and confidence to push people away. She thought that if she could force feared respect out of others, she could somehow make a place for herself in this world without needing to autopsy the cadaver of her heart.
When the two snowballs came flying at Thal, she side-stepped to avoid them this time. Her heart was racing in rising panic at the anxious thoughts filling her head. She couldn't let Maea see them, so she let her own snowball fly back in retaliation. "That's what makes us so different, Maea. I just want -" The pause was only noticed by an intake of shaking breath despite the turmoil of Thal's emotions. What did she want? Recognition? Love? Excitement?
With an angry shout, she finished, "to be seen!" The weight of her words was like a crushing realization, further igniting her temper to a fever pitch. Not waiting for Maea's response, Thal threw handfuls of semi-packed snow. It wasn't quite a temper tantrum, but her logic was starting to fray at the ends with the exposure of her vulnerability and her only method for coping was uncontrolled rage. "So why don't you just leave?! If you can't handle hearing the truth, just go back to living as a frail, inconsequential member of society and forget about me!" At this point, the chilly weather was seeping into Thal's heart, making it ache something terrible. She wanted to pull her limbs into herself and light herself on fire. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so much cold or pain. It may even feel like a comforting embrace.
She began preparing her next bundle of ammunition as Maea did the same, listening to her complain about "not knowing what she wanted to do." Thal scoffed. "You just told me what you want to do: help others. And you're already finding ways to do that. That's why I could offer myself for the experiment. Because I'm expendable. You have people relying on the answers you uncover and family in the afterlife to make proud." Each word was growled out, revealing the real reason she was so frustrated with Maea. Not because she had suffered or had an innate desire to help others, but because she had purpose and yet she continued to take it all for granted. Thal hadn't let anyone close enough to show her uncertainty or insecurities about all this. Instead, she chose the hard, nonchalant mask of sarcasm and confidence to push people away. She thought that if she could force feared respect out of others, she could somehow make a place for herself in this world without needing to autopsy the cadaver of her heart.
When the two snowballs came flying at Thal, she side-stepped to avoid them this time. Her heart was racing in rising panic at the anxious thoughts filling her head. She couldn't let Maea see them, so she let her own snowball fly back in retaliation. "That's what makes us so different, Maea. I just want -" The pause was only noticed by an intake of shaking breath despite the turmoil of Thal's emotions. What did she want? Recognition? Love? Excitement?
With an angry shout, she finished, "to be seen!" The weight of her words was like a crushing realization, further igniting her temper to a fever pitch. Not waiting for Maea's response, Thal threw handfuls of semi-packed snow. It wasn't quite a temper tantrum, but her logic was starting to fray at the ends with the exposure of her vulnerability and her only method for coping was uncontrolled rage. "So why don't you just leave?! If you can't handle hearing the truth, just go back to living as a frail, inconsequential member of society and forget about me!" At this point, the chilly weather was seeping into Thal's heart, making it ache something terrible. She wanted to pull her limbs into herself and light herself on fire. Maybe then she wouldn't feel so much cold or pain. It may even feel like a comforting embrace.
because all this time the monster has been me.
THALASSA
