I'll drown eventually so don't save me
She had never been able to separate her own emotions from matters at hand. It just wasn't how she worked. If there was nothing that sparked a connection in the things that went on around her, she simply ignored it. If it wasn't personal, it may as well not exist. Which made everything she did see intimately personal, and tied to her own self in so many ways. For good, and for bad.
Asta's voice echoed after her, and for a long stretch of tunnel she was able to ignore it. She heard him, but the words felt only as rocks pummeling her back, driving her further away. Until he accused her of having a savior complex; that made her stop.
"I don't think I can save everyone!" she all but screamed back, so frustrated and angry that all control fled out the figurative window. Her voice cracked - she was beyond noticing. "I don't fucking care about everyone, I care about you! And Danta, and the small, pathetic little handful of people that doesn't leave me the fuck alone. You think I don't know how unlikely it is that any one of us is going to make it out of this? I KNOW I can't do a gods damned thing, but if I stand by doing fuck all, then survive while you don't? Fuck you, I'm not doing that. Not again. Not ever again!"
Breathing heavily, her hands were trembling again. Too intense, too overcome by too much emotion, Maea knew the tears were streaming uncontrollably down her face. She couldn't care less. It didn't matter - nothing mattered - because it was so utterly pointless that she wondered why she was even trying.
"I don't care if I'm a fly or a fucking speck of dust, I don't care if I die, I DONT CARE if the only thing I ever achieve is to make those fuckers blink. At least I did that. At least I don't have to swallow shit and eat shit and live a shitty life that's not mine. Go away if you don't like the way I do things. Go away anyway - Leave me the fuck alone so I don't have to FUCKING CARE!"
It sounded unhinged even to her own ears. Erratic, illogical. She was contradicting herself - as always. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to have company. Wanted friends, and family, but couldn't stand to have anyone around for long. She wanted to matter and resented anyone who suggested otherwise, she wanted to be forgotten and ignored and hated it when someone proved able to both understand her and spoke words that resonated with her.
She wanted to stay, wanted to go, wanted to stay, to go - she didn't know. Didn't fucking know what to do anymore.
Chose option:
()Run
()Fight
(o)Teleport
Error. Error.
The script was corrupted. No system remained that could tell her what to do. It had all gone up in flames, and she was stuck in a reality that she wanted nothing more than to flee from.
Asta's voice echoed after her, and for a long stretch of tunnel she was able to ignore it. She heard him, but the words felt only as rocks pummeling her back, driving her further away. Until he accused her of having a savior complex; that made her stop.
"I don't think I can save everyone!" she all but screamed back, so frustrated and angry that all control fled out the figurative window. Her voice cracked - she was beyond noticing. "I don't fucking care about everyone, I care about you! And Danta, and the small, pathetic little handful of people that doesn't leave me the fuck alone. You think I don't know how unlikely it is that any one of us is going to make it out of this? I KNOW I can't do a gods damned thing, but if I stand by doing fuck all, then survive while you don't? Fuck you, I'm not doing that. Not again. Not ever again!"
Breathing heavily, her hands were trembling again. Too intense, too overcome by too much emotion, Maea knew the tears were streaming uncontrollably down her face. She couldn't care less. It didn't matter - nothing mattered - because it was so utterly pointless that she wondered why she was even trying.
"I don't care if I'm a fly or a fucking speck of dust, I don't care if I die, I DONT CARE if the only thing I ever achieve is to make those fuckers blink. At least I did that. At least I don't have to swallow shit and eat shit and live a shitty life that's not mine. Go away if you don't like the way I do things. Go away anyway - Leave me the fuck alone so I don't have to FUCKING CARE!"
It sounded unhinged even to her own ears. Erratic, illogical. She was contradicting herself - as always. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to have company. Wanted friends, and family, but couldn't stand to have anyone around for long. She wanted to matter and resented anyone who suggested otherwise, she wanted to be forgotten and ignored and hated it when someone proved able to both understand her and spoke words that resonated with her.
She wanted to stay, wanted to go, wanted to stay, to go - she didn't know. Didn't fucking know what to do anymore.
Chose option:
()Run
()Fight
(o)Teleport
Error. Error.
The script was corrupted. No system remained that could tell her what to do. It had all gone up in flames, and she was stuck in a reality that she wanted nothing more than to flee from.
Maea
