I'll drown eventually so don't save me
She stood rooted to the ground when he reached her. Cradling herself, heaving breaths that were not quite sobs showing just how close she was to a full breakdown. If she hadn't already crossed that point; her eyes stared wide and empty into some scene of horror no one else could perceive, and Asta's voice reached her only as trickling water made it past infinitesimal cracks in solid stone. One drop at a time. Slowly, persistently.
He added guilt to the stew of already boiling emotion, and stirred. Made her feel childish, and stupid on top of all the rest. Far from placating her, it only made Maea resent what he was saying even more. Like a stifling wet blanket wrapped too tight around the throat, around her mouth and nose so that she couldn't breathe.
"That's your choice," she grated out, ragged and hoarse; it wasn't that far from a snarl. "No one forced you to give up eating people - you're still doing it, aren't you? I'm sure you are. This is different. You're telling me to accept a boot to my head and give up the control of my life and my spaces to some bitch just because she happens to be powerful. You're telling me I should accept seeing my homeland overrun and my friends stepped on because it's not the right time. Fuck. That."
Her internal scream at the hateful humiliation in accepting such a life, such a state of being, bloomed into a shudder that wrecked her thin frame. Too small a vessel for such vast emotions, it had her head spinning. Before she started swaying where she stood, Maea stumbled to a wall and leaned back against it, hands coming up to drag through the hair, making a mess of the tear-stained cheeks. They were subsiding, thankfully, though a lack of blinking made them sting and water so much it hardly made a difference.
He added guilt to the stew of already boiling emotion, and stirred. Made her feel childish, and stupid on top of all the rest. Far from placating her, it only made Maea resent what he was saying even more. Like a stifling wet blanket wrapped too tight around the throat, around her mouth and nose so that she couldn't breathe.
"That's your choice," she grated out, ragged and hoarse; it wasn't that far from a snarl. "No one forced you to give up eating people - you're still doing it, aren't you? I'm sure you are. This is different. You're telling me to accept a boot to my head and give up the control of my life and my spaces to some bitch just because she happens to be powerful. You're telling me I should accept seeing my homeland overrun and my friends stepped on because it's not the right time. Fuck. That."
Her internal scream at the hateful humiliation in accepting such a life, such a state of being, bloomed into a shudder that wrecked her thin frame. Too small a vessel for such vast emotions, it had her head spinning. Before she started swaying where she stood, Maea stumbled to a wall and leaned back against it, hands coming up to drag through the hair, making a mess of the tear-stained cheeks. They were subsiding, thankfully, though a lack of blinking made them sting and water so much it hardly made a difference.
Maea
