Tal made good points that had Zavien nodding his head further, totally unaware of the impact his gentle empathy had on the man. His only thoughts were of how the gods seemed to have so much influence on them. They determined who had power and how they interacted with the world. Whether that was through quests or allegiances, the mortals felt like puppets at times, putting on a show for the deities. However, the gods still took the time to give them moments of peace or help with seemingly insignificant issues. No matter how rare those moments may be, it showed that they still cared. It gave him hope that the gods were still worth his prayers.
As Tal rejoined him at the railing, his discomfort at the question was obvious and Zavien wished he could swallow the words back into his throat. Words tumbled out to right the situation. ”I completely understand. It was a stupid question. Sorry for bringing it up.” Embarrassed by his lapse in judgment, he looked away to hide the deep red of his cheeks. His mom would be ashamed to see him let his curiosity get the better of him and make a friend self-conscious. That wasn’t the kind of person he wanted to be. Hopefully, they could move past the topic to defuse the mood.
Jumping at the opportunity, he sped through his thought process. ”Honestly, I don’t really have one thing in mind. A dragon would be great but I don’t know if they would be willing to bless me that much, considering their attention thus far. If not, I would ask for anything to help me make a difference.” Running his hand through his hair again, he continued to look down at the receding purple ferns, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of intelligent life. ”I want to be strong enough to help people. I’m working in my own way to increase my skills with the Dragoons and I am always training to improve, but a weapon would be a helpful asset to even the playing field.” Lowering his voice slightly, Zavien confided in Tal. ”I feel like more of a burden than anything right now. There is so much that needs to be done and so many people that need assistance, but my abilities are so limited that I feel…” Not quite sure how to articulate his emotions, he paused and looked at his shuffling feet. ”useless.” The word was a deep personal confession that had him blushing up to his ears. He hadn’t told anyone that before and he was embarrassed by the truth that rang in his chest. Zavien knew that he could make a difference, no matter how small, but it didn’t feel like enough. The Void was spreading and he had no power to stop it. People were still suffering. He wasn’t enough to change anything.
And you cannot see a shadow.
