I can't control their fear, only my own.
Her surprise had him considering whether he was going about his prayers in the wrong way and Zavien thought deeply about his answer. He didn't know if there was a specific reason he didn't pray to the other gods. They just didn't seem to stand out in his mind. Trying to give his emotions words, he slowly worked his way through a moderate explanation. "I guess... maybe it has to do with what they represent? Death is a touchy subject because it makes me think of my mom and how she was taken too soon. I don't relish the idea of 'praising' the end of her life. I respect nature and have always thought it powerful, but I don't distinctly think of 'nature' when I see a sunset or a bird. I think of life and the beginning of each day or the pure love of a smiling face, shining like the sun." His own smile appeared at the thought and he looked to Lena, pausing to think about how to further articulate. "I respect them all equally. They are all essential parts of the world, allowing the cycle to continue and evolve to make life worth living. Perhaps one day, I will be more inclined to embrace how change improves people or how death's embrace is welcome. However, for now, I choose to focus on life and the joy that it brings every day when I take a breath or greet a friend." Feeling that he was rambling too much in comparison to her short question, he ran a hand through his hair, disrupting the golden strands. It was odd and sappy, something he didn't think she wanted to hear more of.
As her face flashed through emotions, he wondered how Lena had the capacity to worry so much about anyone and everything. Yet despite knowing that he was one of many, Zavien cherished the warmth that came from knowing that someone was thinking about his well-being even when he wasn't. Not many people had done that for him in some time. After his mother passed, a straggler or two took him under their wing, but very few of them truly cared whether he chose to put himself in danger. He was just another street kid they felt obligated to care for. And since becoming an adult, they had even less mental space to offer him. It just reminded him of what it was like to have family or friends who might miss him if something ever happened.
Her final agreeance with his chosen path was one that brought him more relief than he expected. Maybe Zavien had been expecting an argument or another disappointed glance, but that wasn't Lena. That was just his insecurity about his decision. But it still felt good to hear her - 'approval' wasn't the right word -'acceptance'(?) of his reasoning. It was enough to have him sagging further back against his hand. He also hadn't noticed how he was clutching the gem, causing an imprint in his palm that tingled as he relaxed. "Thank you." Zavien wasn't sure what he was thanking her for, but the words naturally rolled off his tongue.
As her face flashed through emotions, he wondered how Lena had the capacity to worry so much about anyone and everything. Yet despite knowing that he was one of many, Zavien cherished the warmth that came from knowing that someone was thinking about his well-being even when he wasn't. Not many people had done that for him in some time. After his mother passed, a straggler or two took him under their wing, but very few of them truly cared whether he chose to put himself in danger. He was just another street kid they felt obligated to care for. And since becoming an adult, they had even less mental space to offer him. It just reminded him of what it was like to have family or friends who might miss him if something ever happened.
Her final agreeance with his chosen path was one that brought him more relief than he expected. Maybe Zavien had been expecting an argument or another disappointed glance, but that wasn't Lena. That was just his insecurity about his decision. But it still felt good to hear her - 'approval' wasn't the right word -'acceptance'(?) of his reasoning. It was enough to have him sagging further back against his hand. He also hadn't noticed how he was clutching the gem, causing an imprint in his palm that tingled as he relaxed. "Thank you." Zavien wasn't sure what he was thanking her for, but the words naturally rolled off his tongue.
Zavien
