Jude
Jude knows the easiest path is to move here, where his brother and his mother still reside with their open doors and open arms. He doesn’t know why he can’t bear the thought of leaving Torchline. Is it his father’s curse transferring down the bloodline the moment he abdicated? Or is he just childishly clinging to familiarity and a sense of belonging that is more illusion than certainty?
It feels cruel to offer so little in return while asking for so much. Edmund gives everything Jude asks for without a second thought but Jude can’t stop thinking about it. Is love truly the only requirement? He wants to feel worthy, he wants to believe he doesn’t need to be worthy in order to be taken care of, but it feels impossible to learn. It doesn’t matter how old he is when he still feels like a fumbling child next to his brother.
“You’re the best person I know Mun,” he murmurs, wet eyes emerging beneath tousled curls to find Edmund’s. “And - and I’m sorry to ask you to set everything aside for me. But I hope - well - maybe we can both rest.” Maybe he’ll feel less guilty if he looks at it that way. Dropping his forehead onto Edmund’s clavicle, Jude closes his eyes and pretends there’s no world beyond the faint, familiar scent of his brother’s skin. “You deserve it. You have nothing to prove. Neither of us does, not anymore.” They are no longer princes. The benefits of those connections may be lost, but in their place is total freedom from expectations. Edmund had always tried so hard to be poised and proper when they were boys, mimicking Maeve and avoiding tarnishing her reign by following every rule. Who cares now? Who cares if they do anything with their lives at all? There’s nobody left. Their actions can reflect only on themselves now.
They only have each other now. Abandonment is a terrible weight, but it’s a lighter burden to carry than great expectations.
- Fin <333
It feels cruel to offer so little in return while asking for so much. Edmund gives everything Jude asks for without a second thought but Jude can’t stop thinking about it. Is love truly the only requirement? He wants to feel worthy, he wants to believe he doesn’t need to be worthy in order to be taken care of, but it feels impossible to learn. It doesn’t matter how old he is when he still feels like a fumbling child next to his brother.
“You’re the best person I know Mun,” he murmurs, wet eyes emerging beneath tousled curls to find Edmund’s. “And - and I’m sorry to ask you to set everything aside for me. But I hope - well - maybe we can both rest.” Maybe he’ll feel less guilty if he looks at it that way. Dropping his forehead onto Edmund’s clavicle, Jude closes his eyes and pretends there’s no world beyond the faint, familiar scent of his brother’s skin. “You deserve it. You have nothing to prove. Neither of us does, not anymore.” They are no longer princes. The benefits of those connections may be lost, but in their place is total freedom from expectations. Edmund had always tried so hard to be poised and proper when they were boys, mimicking Maeve and avoiding tarnishing her reign by following every rule. Who cares now? Who cares if they do anything with their lives at all? There’s nobody left. Their actions can reflect only on themselves now.
They only have each other now. Abandonment is a terrible weight, but it’s a lighter burden to carry than great expectations.
- Fin <333
started getting what I want, but all of it feels brand new
