// somebody told me that there's two sides to this life //
"No. But I can defend myself, and it's not like it came out of the blue. I had gotten bad vibes from him for a while, so I really should have been on my guard." Stubbornly clinging to the self-reproach was better than accepting the lable as a victim. It meant acknowledging that something had happened to her over which she'd had no control - an unbearable indignity at the best of times, and too awful to bear thinking of in this case. Already her relation with her own body was so fraught; this wasn't helping at all.
Drawing a hasty breath only to stop herself and really give it proper thought, Maea glanced up at Danta briefly but returned to her scrutiny of the floor just as quickly.
"Honestly?" Rubbing her eyes wearily, she shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking much at all. When the guards led the man away, I saw Asta whisper something to him, and I did think it odd. But I thought it was about something else entirely. Maybe interrogation, maybe a warning. Maybe I even hoped to see him get roughed up a bit. But not that. I never thought Asta would do something like that." He had always been such a gentleman, so composed and suave even in the midst of an argument.
"I knew of his habits, but I really thought it was just... in emergencies. He said he was content with deer. I figured, at worst he was rummaging in the trash at the Infirmary after a surgery. And while that's still vile, I could... overlook it. Pretend it had nothing to do with me."
Looking up to meet Danta's gaze, her pale eyes were pained and troubled, full of regret over the things she'd witnessed. "I wanted to stop it. But just like before I couldn't move. I was... too afraid."
Drawing a hasty breath only to stop herself and really give it proper thought, Maea glanced up at Danta briefly but returned to her scrutiny of the floor just as quickly.
"Honestly?" Rubbing her eyes wearily, she shrugged. "I wasn't really thinking much at all. When the guards led the man away, I saw Asta whisper something to him, and I did think it odd. But I thought it was about something else entirely. Maybe interrogation, maybe a warning. Maybe I even hoped to see him get roughed up a bit. But not that. I never thought Asta would do something like that." He had always been such a gentleman, so composed and suave even in the midst of an argument.
"I knew of his habits, but I really thought it was just... in emergencies. He said he was content with deer. I figured, at worst he was rummaging in the trash at the Infirmary after a surgery. And while that's still vile, I could... overlook it. Pretend it had nothing to do with me."
Looking up to meet Danta's gaze, her pale eyes were pained and troubled, full of regret over the things she'd witnessed. "I wanted to stop it. But just like before I couldn't move. I was... too afraid."
Maea
// I think I might've chosen darkness over light //
