// somebody told me that there's two sides to this life //
He made it sound so simple. Tempting, alluring, like a will-o-wisp in the deepest darkness. Just throw away all cares and do whatever, no judgement. And as a cherry on top, he hoped she would stay. That was almost blackmail. Seduction of a high degree. Join the dark side, we have pats on the head and free drink. Or, well. Not free, you just had to leave all morals at the door.
Sniffing and wiping pointlessly at her wet cheeks, Maea turned her gaze to the ceiling. Traced the edge of it from corner to corner and back, counting the boards and beams - there were twenty three, broad and nicely varnished without a speck of dust to be seen - until the snot stopped dripping. Fuck, but she hated this high-strung weeping. It was so undignified.
"... what if I care, but still feel icky about your habits? Where do I put that?" It was more than ick, of course. Deeply grossed out, with cold shudders and a constant feeling of needing to throw up... Not to mention the nightmares. "What if I want to stay, but have this constant feeling of being out of place? Like I need to choose between you and everyone who isn't Ancient? How - I don't know... how to smile and laugh with one person while another is being torn to pieces somewhere out of sight..." Raising her hands helplessly, she looked at Danta, all but pleading for some crumb of logic, some piece of rationale that could explain what to do with all the dread that filled her at the idea of staying. What it would mean, to stay complicit in that kind of madhouse.
"I don't want to become a - " A monster. Gorged on carrion, seated atop a mountain of bones with blood dripping off her hands with nothing to say when her friends asked what she was thinking; heart so black that she no longer recognized or cared for the emotions, thoughts, and feelings of others " - a cruel person. Or someone who can overlook it and do nothing."
Sniffing and wiping pointlessly at her wet cheeks, Maea turned her gaze to the ceiling. Traced the edge of it from corner to corner and back, counting the boards and beams - there were twenty three, broad and nicely varnished without a speck of dust to be seen - until the snot stopped dripping. Fuck, but she hated this high-strung weeping. It was so undignified.
"... what if I care, but still feel icky about your habits? Where do I put that?" It was more than ick, of course. Deeply grossed out, with cold shudders and a constant feeling of needing to throw up... Not to mention the nightmares. "What if I want to stay, but have this constant feeling of being out of place? Like I need to choose between you and everyone who isn't Ancient? How - I don't know... how to smile and laugh with one person while another is being torn to pieces somewhere out of sight..." Raising her hands helplessly, she looked at Danta, all but pleading for some crumb of logic, some piece of rationale that could explain what to do with all the dread that filled her at the idea of staying. What it would mean, to stay complicit in that kind of madhouse.
"I don't want to become a - " A monster. Gorged on carrion, seated atop a mountain of bones with blood dripping off her hands with nothing to say when her friends asked what she was thinking; heart so black that she no longer recognized or cared for the emotions, thoughts, and feelings of others " - a cruel person. Or someone who can overlook it and do nothing."
Maea
// I think I might've chosen darkness over light //
