you've long seen your downfall, spelled out in another's bones
"My feelings belong with you, and they always will," Ronin fires back with a soft hint of a smile on his own face; he doesn't trust himself to reach for the Bastion just yet, but he's at least able to splash a bit of water at the other man's knee. "I just didn't realise they would be anything other than loving you to death or wanting to pull your clothes off." Also not exactly true, because this is far from the first argument the Taliesins have had and it's unlikely to be the last in the long term, but it's been a fair while in Ronin's defence.
If he's putting his feelings where they belong, though, now that Remi is finally asking, it's as though a dam has been broken and Ronin barely pauses before letting the words spill out. "Yes," he says, his voice low and honest. "Yes, I absolutely would have." He frowns at the sand, apologetic, and takes a soft breath before continuing.
"I wouldn't have expected you to ignore them, even if it's selfishly what I wanted. And I don't think it would have lasted forever, you needing to go away for days to see them. It would have just been a lot easier... to feel as though I had some sort of control over something that, let's be honest, I had zero say in, from the moment it happened to the moment they were running through the woods as kids." He rubs at the back of his neck.
"The Greatwood was our home, and it didn't feel like it any more. It belonged to you and Hotaru and your family, and I just had to live with it." It shouldn't feel so cathartic to say things that are arguably hurtful, but given the amount of time it has taken to unearth these particular truths, Ronin does feel some of the weight lifting from his shoulders.
"If they'd been elsewhere - and I know it's easy to say it now - but I think it would have been possible for me to meet them, in the end. I could have heard about them from you, made connections to them through you, instead of just wondering if I'd bump into them out in the Wildwood without any warning."
If he's putting his feelings where they belong, though, now that Remi is finally asking, it's as though a dam has been broken and Ronin barely pauses before letting the words spill out. "Yes," he says, his voice low and honest. "Yes, I absolutely would have." He frowns at the sand, apologetic, and takes a soft breath before continuing.
"I wouldn't have expected you to ignore them, even if it's selfishly what I wanted. And I don't think it would have lasted forever, you needing to go away for days to see them. It would have just been a lot easier... to feel as though I had some sort of control over something that, let's be honest, I had zero say in, from the moment it happened to the moment they were running through the woods as kids." He rubs at the back of his neck.
"The Greatwood was our home, and it didn't feel like it any more. It belonged to you and Hotaru and your family, and I just had to live with it." It shouldn't feel so cathartic to say things that are arguably hurtful, but given the amount of time it has taken to unearth these particular truths, Ronin does feel some of the weight lifting from his shoulders.
"If they'd been elsewhere - and I know it's easy to say it now - but I think it would have been possible for me to meet them, in the end. I could have heard about them from you, made connections to them through you, instead of just wondering if I'd bump into them out in the Wildwood without any warning."
RONIN
