// I tried to scream but my head was underwater //
Prying her fingers off the mug, she slipped her hand into Remi's as it was offered. Considering the question, Maea thought about everything that had happened. What she had seen, how she had acted, how others had acted towards her in turn. The only thing that was clear in all of it, was that she was not without blame. Without a doubt her actions and words had turned this uglier than it perhaps needed to be... but beyond the tangled and maybe broken mess that had become of her and Asta's relation still lay the overarching question on whether she was wrong or not. Whether she had any right to question what went on in her home. Whether, after all of this, it even was her home at all. Was this a fight she should be choosing? Was it her place to worry about and defend the entirety of this race from a persecution that may not come? No one had asked her to. It may even be against the wishes of the goddess they leaned on as justification of their actions. And yet... she might. Because the alternative was awful, too.
"I would like your opinion," she replied, squeezing his fingers gently. "You were oppressed in your old world... if anyone can tell me if what I'm feeling is wrong, it would be you. And... if what's going on is putting those of us who has already been through one war is placing us at risk all over again. And... and whether I am the one who needs to change. I... already realize that it's my inability to deal with my fears that's made this so bad, and I need to find a way to change that. So that's on me. And I need to make amends for the mess I made with this person's breakdown. I don't know how, but... I want to, if I can."
Raising her gaze to look at Remi, she quieted to hear what his thoughts on the matter was. At a point where she didn't really care if it turned out that she was the one in the wrong, she just wanted a voice to tip the balance, somehow. So that she could escape this limbo of confusion and upset that had no place to go.
"I would like your opinion," she replied, squeezing his fingers gently. "You were oppressed in your old world... if anyone can tell me if what I'm feeling is wrong, it would be you. And... if what's going on is putting those of us who has already been through one war is placing us at risk all over again. And... and whether I am the one who needs to change. I... already realize that it's my inability to deal with my fears that's made this so bad, and I need to find a way to change that. So that's on me. And I need to make amends for the mess I made with this person's breakdown. I don't know how, but... I want to, if I can."
Raising her gaze to look at Remi, she quieted to hear what his thoughts on the matter was. At a point where she didn't really care if it turned out that she was the one in the wrong, she just wanted a voice to tip the balance, somehow. So that she could escape this limbo of confusion and upset that had no place to go.
Maea
// They called me weak, like I'm not just somebody's daughter //
