The coldest blood runs through my veins
Blood bubbled and oozed from the arrow wound. In the blazing sunlight it almost felt cool to touch. Her rage burned hotter, a symptom of some trauma far deeper than any physical injury - and as they say about straws breaking the backs of camels, losing her temper became a final, fatal mistake.
Because she didn't realize how dangerous Melita's arrows were. Or how powerful her own magic had become. Or that a second volley was descending on her even as she lashed out at everything and everyone around her. Blinded by pain and rage and a bottomless well of self-pity, she screamed like a banshee in the blazing, barren desert -
- and a gentle breeze caressed her cheek, cooling skin that would not flush, would not be touched again. The wind bent the grass like waves in a sea of green and rustled leaves in a tall oak tree at the top of the hill. A young man pushed himself onto his feet, and approached her with a smile, even as he shook his head. Hair white as flax contrasted against the sun-tannned face, and his eyes were blue as the sky.
"You never did do anything by half, Lil sis," he laughed. Pulling her into a hug, Maea blinked, confusion numbing her thoughts.
"Noah..? But... how? Why are you here?" He felt real under her hands as she slowly hugged him back.
"Other way around. You're the one who's here, Mae. And now you have a choice to make. Are you staying, or going back?"
It didn't make sense. She had been... gods, but what had she been doing? Playing a game that wasn't a game. Trying to make something fun that wasn't. Making family out of strangers and friends out of murderers and thieves. Building homes out of sand and weeping when time and wind blew them away.
"I don't know... is there anything to go back to?" It was comfortable here. Together with the brother she had missed so much, in a place beyond fear or pain...
Noah's hand stroked her hair, soothing as it always had been. "There is so much more," he said, "you just haven't found it yet. I hate to say it, but you've kinda been looking in strange places."
"I don't really know what to even look for... you guys are all here. Even Shii..." And nothing shehad done had made a difference.
"There's still more," he insisted. Withdrawing to take her by the shoulders, her brother looked her in the eyes. "You're not lost, Mae, you're just in too much of a hurry. Slow down. Don't look so far ahead. Just because you can run now doesn't mean it's all you have to do. Remember when you were little, and I had to carry you to the barn? You weren't even able to stand up, but you still bottle fed the lambs, sitting in the hay for hours. Sure you can do more now, but you were always helpful. Always working hard. And even if you weren't, I'd still want you around.
"Why? I only hurt people, and mess things up, and –"
"Why? Well. Because you make me laugh, don't you. Can you really think of no one who's laughed with you over the years, at all?"
Maea thought back. And slowly, faces came to mind. Eyes that crinkled with laughter. Glittered in sunlight or gleamed in firelight, amused and keen and alert. Blue eyes, green eyes, brown and odd-colored – Talyson, Hotaru, Thalassa, Remi, Hadama, Charlie, Ronin –
A tentative smile touched her lips, and the young farmer nodded his encouragement. "See? There's a lot of reasons to go back."
Maea frowned. "Are you saying I should?"
"I'm saying you could. If you want to."
"And if I want to stay..?"
He shrugged. "Then you stay. Either way, we will be together again. Now or later is all the same to me. What matters is what you want."
Time did not exist here. It was för a second and a lifetime's worth of moments that she stood, deep in thought, her hands in his. Thinking. Feeling. The peace made it easier and harder; finding peace like this in life was difficult, and Maea hadn't realized how tired she was.
"I... think... I want to do better," she told him. "This... it's not how I want it to stay." The pain, the anger, the many grievances left unsolved - maybe it wasn't possible to live life without making enemies but Maea felt like she could do better. Be better.
Noah smiled at her, and nodded. Hugging her again, he let go and took a step back. "Then you do it right this time. No regrets."
"No regrets," she promised, watching as he began to walk back towards the tree. Only then realizing that she didn't know what to do next, she called to her brother. "Uh, how..? Is there even a way back?"
He grinned at her over the shoulder. "You know a way."
"I do?"
"You do."
She knew, huh... Standing alone on the windswept field, she thought back. Tried to recall what had happened, what her brother meant... then she laughed at herself for being so slow.
"Remi? Can you hear me?" Whispering his name into the wind, she hummed a tune as she waited, hoping he still had the connection with spirits he'd once had. It was a wordless lullaby, one she'd forgotten the lyrics to a long time ago;
something something
And we'll meet there and Dance
as the leaves slowly change,
In the light of a lantern to Ludo...
Because she didn't realize how dangerous Melita's arrows were. Or how powerful her own magic had become. Or that a second volley was descending on her even as she lashed out at everything and everyone around her. Blinded by pain and rage and a bottomless well of self-pity, she screamed like a banshee in the blazing, barren desert -
- and a gentle breeze caressed her cheek, cooling skin that would not flush, would not be touched again. The wind bent the grass like waves in a sea of green and rustled leaves in a tall oak tree at the top of the hill. A young man pushed himself onto his feet, and approached her with a smile, even as he shook his head. Hair white as flax contrasted against the sun-tannned face, and his eyes were blue as the sky.
"You never did do anything by half, Lil sis," he laughed. Pulling her into a hug, Maea blinked, confusion numbing her thoughts.
"Noah..? But... how? Why are you here?" He felt real under her hands as she slowly hugged him back.
"Other way around. You're the one who's here, Mae. And now you have a choice to make. Are you staying, or going back?"
It didn't make sense. She had been... gods, but what had she been doing? Playing a game that wasn't a game. Trying to make something fun that wasn't. Making family out of strangers and friends out of murderers and thieves. Building homes out of sand and weeping when time and wind blew them away.
"I don't know... is there anything to go back to?" It was comfortable here. Together with the brother she had missed so much, in a place beyond fear or pain...
Noah's hand stroked her hair, soothing as it always had been. "There is so much more," he said, "you just haven't found it yet. I hate to say it, but you've kinda been looking in strange places."
"I don't really know what to even look for... you guys are all here. Even Shii..." And nothing shehad done had made a difference.
"There's still more," he insisted. Withdrawing to take her by the shoulders, her brother looked her in the eyes. "You're not lost, Mae, you're just in too much of a hurry. Slow down. Don't look so far ahead. Just because you can run now doesn't mean it's all you have to do. Remember when you were little, and I had to carry you to the barn? You weren't even able to stand up, but you still bottle fed the lambs, sitting in the hay for hours. Sure you can do more now, but you were always helpful. Always working hard. And even if you weren't, I'd still want you around.
"Why? I only hurt people, and mess things up, and –"
"Why? Well. Because you make me laugh, don't you. Can you really think of no one who's laughed with you over the years, at all?"
Maea thought back. And slowly, faces came to mind. Eyes that crinkled with laughter. Glittered in sunlight or gleamed in firelight, amused and keen and alert. Blue eyes, green eyes, brown and odd-colored – Talyson, Hotaru, Thalassa, Remi, Hadama, Charlie, Ronin –
A tentative smile touched her lips, and the young farmer nodded his encouragement. "See? There's a lot of reasons to go back."
Maea frowned. "Are you saying I should?"
"I'm saying you could. If you want to."
"And if I want to stay..?"
He shrugged. "Then you stay. Either way, we will be together again. Now or later is all the same to me. What matters is what you want."
Time did not exist here. It was för a second and a lifetime's worth of moments that she stood, deep in thought, her hands in his. Thinking. Feeling. The peace made it easier and harder; finding peace like this in life was difficult, and Maea hadn't realized how tired she was.
"I... think... I want to do better," she told him. "This... it's not how I want it to stay." The pain, the anger, the many grievances left unsolved - maybe it wasn't possible to live life without making enemies but Maea felt like she could do better. Be better.
Noah smiled at her, and nodded. Hugging her again, he let go and took a step back. "Then you do it right this time. No regrets."
"No regrets," she promised, watching as he began to walk back towards the tree. Only then realizing that she didn't know what to do next, she called to her brother. "Uh, how..? Is there even a way back?"
He grinned at her over the shoulder. "You know a way."
"I do?"
"You do."
She knew, huh... Standing alone on the windswept field, she thought back. Tried to recall what had happened, what her brother meant... then she laughed at herself for being so slow.
"Remi? Can you hear me?" Whispering his name into the wind, she hummed a tune as she waited, hoping he still had the connection with spirits he'd once had. It was a wordless lullaby, one she'd forgotten the lyrics to a long time ago;
something something
And we'll meet there and Dance
as the leaves slowly change,
In the light of a lantern to Ludo...
You know my name
Table by Skylark
