He held his cup like a lifeline but did not raise it or drink from it. Evie held all of his attention, except when she sent him back within his memories to a moment that he regretted deeply. He watched her, emerald eyes sorrowful with the pain his thoughtless actions had caused her and the price of them, and perhaps he sensed something in her posture when she bowed her head for he waited for her to finish.
Her accusations drew a deeper breath into his chest, his eyes widening briefly in surprise to the second, if not the first. "No." Definitive, with no room for second thoughts. "I am not a martyr. But..." He exhaled the breath slowly, and for once there was reluctance as he gave her a tilt of his head that was not quite a nod. "Maea is... a more complicated question."
It was his turn to drop his gaze, turning the cup between his large fingers slowly though he did not seem to truly see it as he moved back to her previous questions instead. "It was... feeling, not thought," he said again, more softly. Grey brows drew together, struggling to put into words the instincts of a Mer whose animal form had been, for all its size, still prey. In hindsight there was far less uncertainty about how the situation would have played out, and he could only give a shake of his head in deep apology, knowing his words were not enough but offering them since she asked for them. "A shark that is not hungry is a tense neighbor, but well-mannered. But you do not turn your back on a hungry shark, or show it weakness. It could provoke the attack you wish to avoid. Dahlia is something that even sharks would fear. And I did not know if she had come to hunt, or only to observe." He had not known if pulling Maea away would have provoked the very attack he was hoping to deter, and in truth he had reacted according to his own instincts without thinking. Evie's instinct - to usher the Ancient away, to make apologies for a recalcitrant child - had been the correct ones, but he had not realized it at the time. Not until it was almost too late.
"I should have pulled her away," he admitted slowly. "Knowing now what Dahlia intended... yes." He raised his head to look at her again, if she was ready to meet his eyes. "But I did not. And I am sorry for that."
Her accusations drew a deeper breath into his chest, his eyes widening briefly in surprise to the second, if not the first. "No." Definitive, with no room for second thoughts. "I am not a martyr. But..." He exhaled the breath slowly, and for once there was reluctance as he gave her a tilt of his head that was not quite a nod. "Maea is... a more complicated question."
It was his turn to drop his gaze, turning the cup between his large fingers slowly though he did not seem to truly see it as he moved back to her previous questions instead. "It was... feeling, not thought," he said again, more softly. Grey brows drew together, struggling to put into words the instincts of a Mer whose animal form had been, for all its size, still prey. In hindsight there was far less uncertainty about how the situation would have played out, and he could only give a shake of his head in deep apology, knowing his words were not enough but offering them since she asked for them. "A shark that is not hungry is a tense neighbor, but well-mannered. But you do not turn your back on a hungry shark, or show it weakness. It could provoke the attack you wish to avoid. Dahlia is something that even sharks would fear. And I did not know if she had come to hunt, or only to observe." He had not known if pulling Maea away would have provoked the very attack he was hoping to deter, and in truth he had reacted according to his own instincts without thinking. Evie's instinct - to usher the Ancient away, to make apologies for a recalcitrant child - had been the correct ones, but he had not realized it at the time. Not until it was almost too late.
"I should have pulled her away," he admitted slowly. "Knowing now what Dahlia intended... yes." He raised his head to look at her again, if she was ready to meet his eyes. "But I did not. And I am sorry for that."
