i could be the reason you can't sleep at night
"No, but—" Widening her eyes, Flora's fingers clasp against her arms, mirroring the instincts in Koa's own body to throttle, or grab, or shake. Gods why could they just never talk to one another? Why was this always so hard for them? "I'm allowed to be upset about things while still trying to move on." She says, trying to keep the exasperation from her voice and failing wildly. "And you don't get to act like making amends for being such a dickhead should get you a medal." Because he had fucked up, they'd both agreed about that and while forgiveness might have meant forgetting in Koa's books, it certainly didn't in Flora's.
Flinching as he says he loves her again, this time the words feel like a crack opening up between them, and every word offered in explanation or anger served only to widen the gulf. Shaking her head softly at the mention of Sohalia again and Ronin's lecture, Flora retreats a step, her tear-blurred eyes drawn to the cheerful sunflowers that seemed to be the only thing in the world to hold any colour anymore.
"No, it was." Supposed to be you. "You did." Flora interrupts the grief suddenly palpable once more against her throat like greedy fingertips looking to choke the words away before she can save them. "I never resented you—Koa, I—" Pressing her fingernails hard enough against her skin to leave little indents in an effort to keep herself from shaking, she bites down on a sob, her soggy aqua gaze lifting toward the sky. "There was...Koa something happened, with this guy I met. I don't want to get into it, but I got really hurt. My shoulder was fucked up, and emotionally...it..." Flora's young mind had split her time with Asta into two segments: the one before, and the one where they were friends. Though she could happily be around the butcher now, thinking about the before sometimes still had her wanting to drop to her knees in anguish and agony, as it did now. "..I was a mess, and Jack was the one who found me." She explains, the tears trickling down her cheeks now large and silent. "And then literally last week I almost died. Right on the beach. This...this void thing attacked, and..gods, it took both Ronin and Remi in the end to get us out of there." Releasing her arms and pressing her fingertips against her eyelids, the queen exhales shivery whimpers against her palms as the memory of the pain and the fear washed over her in slow, cold waves. "And he was there too." She whispers.
Knowing how it would sound, what Koa would say—oh so it's my fault for not being there?—Flora drops her hands, her face a crumpled and splotchy mess. Taking a step forward, she shakes her head wildly, her hair coming unspooled around her shoulders. "And that isn't your fault, I know that. I know that. But..." But Jack had been there, and it had changed everything.
Flinching as he says he loves her again, this time the words feel like a crack opening up between them, and every word offered in explanation or anger served only to widen the gulf. Shaking her head softly at the mention of Sohalia again and Ronin's lecture, Flora retreats a step, her tear-blurred eyes drawn to the cheerful sunflowers that seemed to be the only thing in the world to hold any colour anymore.
"No, it was." Supposed to be you. "You did." Flora interrupts the grief suddenly palpable once more against her throat like greedy fingertips looking to choke the words away before she can save them. "I never resented you—Koa, I—" Pressing her fingernails hard enough against her skin to leave little indents in an effort to keep herself from shaking, she bites down on a sob, her soggy aqua gaze lifting toward the sky. "There was...Koa something happened, with this guy I met. I don't want to get into it, but I got really hurt. My shoulder was fucked up, and emotionally...it..." Flora's young mind had split her time with Asta into two segments: the one before, and the one where they were friends. Though she could happily be around the butcher now, thinking about the before sometimes still had her wanting to drop to her knees in anguish and agony, as it did now. "..I was a mess, and Jack was the one who found me." She explains, the tears trickling down her cheeks now large and silent. "And then literally last week I almost died. Right on the beach. This...this void thing attacked, and..gods, it took both Ronin and Remi in the end to get us out of there." Releasing her arms and pressing her fingertips against her eyelids, the queen exhales shivery whimpers against her palms as the memory of the pain and the fear washed over her in slow, cold waves. "And he was there too." She whispers.
Knowing how it would sound, what Koa would say—oh so it's my fault for not being there?—Flora drops her hands, her face a crumpled and splotchy mess. Taking a step forward, she shakes her head wildly, her hair coming unspooled around her shoulders. "And that isn't your fault, I know that. I know that. But..." But Jack had been there, and it had changed everything.
