are you still the same soul

And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground

She was alive. She hadn't let herself really feel it before now, hadn't really acknowledged how grateful she was that she's made it through her ordeal. Being abducted by the Family had been harrowing, of course, and being ill for months had almost killed her - but she was here, and Jude was here, and they were both alive and breathing and okay (all things considered). And right now, in this moment, all Soh could do was weep with relief.

"I'm alive," she agreed in a breathless, choking voice that cracked from her lips between sobs. "I'm alive and I'm here and I've miss you so much -" she continued before she remembered the last time she'd seen him, how angry and hateful and enraged he had been. But as much as society might tell her to keep her feelings to herself, she had never been able to where Jude was concerned - to her own detriment, at times - and she wasn't about to start now.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his neck, tightening her arms around him as though she could keep him close if only she wished hard enough. "I'm so sorry, Jude." Please forgive me, she seemed to beg. Please come back to me.

And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now

Sohalia