So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes
No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight
No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight
Fuckity fuckity fuckity fuck, you're spiraling again, dude. Clench your fists and grit your teeth and get it together, will you? Sure, you've been abruptly reminded of the other girl who dumped you for a twink, but that doesn't mean we can fall apart on the street. You're better than that, Koa.
Right?
Thus flows some of the internal monologue currently blasting in the Dragoon's head, a war between stubbornness and a wounded ego unsettling his already rattled thoughts. Nails bite into the palms of his hands as he shoves his fists deeper into his pockets; he can feel the tension shoving into his spine, thrumming through his shoulders like the string of a guitar. "They're good," he's quick to answer Soh, distracted, clinging to this benign topic with desperation and relief. "Dad's threatening to retire, which he's done at least once a season since the dawn of time. Noe's got some big commission keeping her busy. I think she's mad I haven't been spending much time at home, so I'm glad she has Jude---"
Oh.
Right.
Fuck.
Abruptly Koa bites his tongue, but it's far too late. Awkward cat is out of the bag, and gods, as if things weren't weird enough? Doing his best to keep his voice from sounding too strangled, Koa clarifies: "Oh...Yeah, I guess- Jude's staying with us. Has been since the end of the season. Moved in after his dad died." Does Soh know about his dad? Has she spoken to the third spoke in the convoluted love polyhedron that Koa's somehow been trapped inside? He can feel his sanity slipping slowly, hysterics at the absurdity of their situation clawing up his neck. He doesn't dare look at Sohalia. All that's needed now is for her to be Jack's ex and the tenuous thread keeping him together will snap beyond repair.
Right?
Thus flows some of the internal monologue currently blasting in the Dragoon's head, a war between stubbornness and a wounded ego unsettling his already rattled thoughts. Nails bite into the palms of his hands as he shoves his fists deeper into his pockets; he can feel the tension shoving into his spine, thrumming through his shoulders like the string of a guitar. "They're good," he's quick to answer Soh, distracted, clinging to this benign topic with desperation and relief. "Dad's threatening to retire, which he's done at least once a season since the dawn of time. Noe's got some big commission keeping her busy. I think she's mad I haven't been spending much time at home, so I'm glad she has Jude---"
Oh.
Right.
Fuck.
Abruptly Koa bites his tongue, but it's far too late. Awkward cat is out of the bag, and gods, as if things weren't weird enough? Doing his best to keep his voice from sounding too strangled, Koa clarifies: "Oh...Yeah, I guess- Jude's staying with us. Has been since the end of the season. Moved in after his dad died." Does Soh know about his dad? Has she spoken to the third spoke in the convoluted love polyhedron that Koa's somehow been trapped inside? He can feel his sanity slipping slowly, hysterics at the absurdity of their situation clawing up his neck. He doesn't dare look at Sohalia. All that's needed now is for her to be Jack's ex and the tenuous thread keeping him together will snap beyond repair.
Koa
No other version of me I would rather be tonight
And, Lord, she found me just in time
And, Lord, she found me just in time
