It never felt like enough. Nothing ever did. Ellyra tried not to dwell on it—it felt indulgent and messy--but the thought lingered even as she decided to move from Stormbreak to King's End. It was easier for the lioness to disguise her moving away from the city with the void-bound leadership, rather than why she always feel so unmoored. Everyone else seemed to have something that anchored them. A home, a purpose, a someone. Even Lena had the Celestine. Something solid and real to hold onto. She had tried to find hers, or at least convince herself she had, through the clinic, but...
It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful. She knew how lucky she was. She’d had good things, good people. But none of it ever filled the hollow space in her chest. It was as though a piece of her was missing, something vital she could never quite name. But she couldn't get that out in words. Instead, she was able to mask it in fear and trepidation of what might be to come and her own weaknesses in that fight--which she wasn't even a part of, and did not want to be. She was a nurse, not a warrior.
She tried to break a smile when Lena gave her reassurance, even though it was quiet. "I don't think so...but if you need anything, you can write me! And I'll write you to tell you about how its going in King's End."
It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful. She knew how lucky she was. She’d had good things, good people. But none of it ever filled the hollow space in her chest. It was as though a piece of her was missing, something vital she could never quite name. But she couldn't get that out in words. Instead, she was able to mask it in fear and trepidation of what might be to come and her own weaknesses in that fight--which she wasn't even a part of, and did not want to be. She was a nurse, not a warrior.
She tried to break a smile when Lena gave her reassurance, even though it was quiet. "I don't think so...but if you need anything, you can write me! And I'll write you to tell you about how its going in King's End."
ellyra
head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour
