HOTARU
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
Her frown twitches at the corner, belying the clearly suppressed desire to worsen her expression. She hadn’t lingered at the Festival after finding Sunjata - now she regrets that she hadn’t. It changes…well. Too much.
It’s why she lapses into uneasy silence. A vague noncommittal hum meets his denigration of the Family’s evolutions as her eyes drift time and again to Flora. Her eyelashes - so faint in the daylight without coatings and colors - glow in the light cast from Hotaru’s skin. There are new freckles on her daughter’s face in places she doesn’t remember. She is a familiar stranger. When did that happen?
She knows, Hotaru.
It’s so damning that it’s equally a blessing Remi isn’t touching her lest he feel the devastation that occurs in her chest. What is there to fear indeed if he is so certain in his ability to provide where Hotaru cannot? What is the purpose of her presence here, her efforts to prevent Flora from being corrected by the Family again if the answer is so simple in Remi’s mind? Just never be too late. Never falter.
Oh, how she’s tried. But as he said - Flora knows. She knows she can’t rely upon Hotaru to be the one to save her. Maybe that’s why she refused to see Torchline as unsafe or to envision leaving it - because Remi and Ronin wouldn’t be nearby. The fact Hotaru would be wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t assure more meaningful safety.
Her tears dry tacky in diagonal trails across her cupid’s bow and the bridge of her nose as her unblinking stare unfocuses and turns Flora’s features indistinct. Sunjata is grieving a love so great he can’t be near her. Her daughter hides beneath the safety of plentiful parental wings without needing the inclusion of her own. Hotaru holds the answer to safety in her hands and yet…because she hesitated, because she trusted Remi and believed she was skilled enough to maneuver this scenario in a way that would preserve everyone’s collective happiness, she can feel the opportunity slip through her fingers.
Fine. Ru can protect them even from arm’s length. It just requires her heart being the one sacrificed. That’s hardly a new thing, right?
“I doubt Frey can make one, but perhaps something else. A long-distance exchange of sorts, a trading of places…” her voice is musical and placid in the glow reflecting against the underside of Remi’s wing. A cocoon of light that feels darker than anything she’s known so far. “If you remain close…then maybe she’s right. Maybe it is safer.” Hotaru smiles, but the corners of her eyes draw down to paint a tableau of grief. Her eyes rise to Remi’s and manage to hold at last. If there’s one thing Hotaru can do it’s lie. “It was selfish of me to think of bringing her to the Refuge. I wasn’t thinking straight - I wasn’t thinking at all. I just knew I had to get here as fast as I could.” Place the blame on her shoulders. Distract with vulnerability Remi has always found uncomfortable. Blind him with empathy through the freshness of his own feelings about Flora’s death. “It’s hard to feel on the outside. Like I can’t offer her anything she doesn’t already receive…like I’m giving all this space and time for her to find herself and being forgotten in the process.” Cue the watery eyes. A hiccup of a breath, the slightest shake of her head as if she’s caught herself being too transparent and regrets it immediately. Wouldn’t the prideful Valkyrie do that?
Muster a smile. A touch of a wobble to it. Withdraw - like she's tired and defeated, not actually avoiding the possibility of him reaching to console her. "I think I'll just...go home? Get my thoughts together enough to tell her she was right and that I'm sorry." It will be easier to deceive Flora through parchment; she wonders if her daughter can read her any better than Remi can and aches anew. "Just...try not to paint me badly when she wakes?" Her lip trembles naturally this time. "I love her. I tried to do this right." Regret gnaws at her stomach. She never should have hesitated. She never should have given weight to Flora's desires or Remi's cooperation. But that ending would have been just as painful, weathering their combined hatred and distrust until she could convince them of the Family's safety. This way, only she has to know the truth. They can hate Dahlia and the Family in her stead until the final moments where they will be forced to evolve regardless. Then they can be together like this again.
Hotaru only has to wait until the end - and do anything in her power to hasten its arrival for the sake of her own selfish heart.
It’s why she lapses into uneasy silence. A vague noncommittal hum meets his denigration of the Family’s evolutions as her eyes drift time and again to Flora. Her eyelashes - so faint in the daylight without coatings and colors - glow in the light cast from Hotaru’s skin. There are new freckles on her daughter’s face in places she doesn’t remember. She is a familiar stranger. When did that happen?
She knows, Hotaru.
It’s so damning that it’s equally a blessing Remi isn’t touching her lest he feel the devastation that occurs in her chest. What is there to fear indeed if he is so certain in his ability to provide where Hotaru cannot? What is the purpose of her presence here, her efforts to prevent Flora from being corrected by the Family again if the answer is so simple in Remi’s mind? Just never be too late. Never falter.
Oh, how she’s tried. But as he said - Flora knows. She knows she can’t rely upon Hotaru to be the one to save her. Maybe that’s why she refused to see Torchline as unsafe or to envision leaving it - because Remi and Ronin wouldn’t be nearby. The fact Hotaru would be wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t assure more meaningful safety.
Her tears dry tacky in diagonal trails across her cupid’s bow and the bridge of her nose as her unblinking stare unfocuses and turns Flora’s features indistinct. Sunjata is grieving a love so great he can’t be near her. Her daughter hides beneath the safety of plentiful parental wings without needing the inclusion of her own. Hotaru holds the answer to safety in her hands and yet…because she hesitated, because she trusted Remi and believed she was skilled enough to maneuver this scenario in a way that would preserve everyone’s collective happiness, she can feel the opportunity slip through her fingers.
Fine. Ru can protect them even from arm’s length. It just requires her heart being the one sacrificed. That’s hardly a new thing, right?
“I doubt Frey can make one, but perhaps something else. A long-distance exchange of sorts, a trading of places…” her voice is musical and placid in the glow reflecting against the underside of Remi’s wing. A cocoon of light that feels darker than anything she’s known so far. “If you remain close…then maybe she’s right. Maybe it is safer.” Hotaru smiles, but the corners of her eyes draw down to paint a tableau of grief. Her eyes rise to Remi’s and manage to hold at last. If there’s one thing Hotaru can do it’s lie. “It was selfish of me to think of bringing her to the Refuge. I wasn’t thinking straight - I wasn’t thinking at all. I just knew I had to get here as fast as I could.” Place the blame on her shoulders. Distract with vulnerability Remi has always found uncomfortable. Blind him with empathy through the freshness of his own feelings about Flora’s death. “It’s hard to feel on the outside. Like I can’t offer her anything she doesn’t already receive…like I’m giving all this space and time for her to find herself and being forgotten in the process.” Cue the watery eyes. A hiccup of a breath, the slightest shake of her head as if she’s caught herself being too transparent and regrets it immediately. Wouldn’t the prideful Valkyrie do that?
Muster a smile. A touch of a wobble to it. Withdraw - like she's tired and defeated, not actually avoiding the possibility of him reaching to console her. "I think I'll just...go home? Get my thoughts together enough to tell her she was right and that I'm sorry." It will be easier to deceive Flora through parchment; she wonders if her daughter can read her any better than Remi can and aches anew. "Just...try not to paint me badly when she wakes?" Her lip trembles naturally this time. "I love her. I tried to do this right." Regret gnaws at her stomach. She never should have hesitated. She never should have given weight to Flora's desires or Remi's cooperation. But that ending would have been just as painful, weathering their combined hatred and distrust until she could convince them of the Family's safety. This way, only she has to know the truth. They can hate Dahlia and the Family in her stead until the final moments where they will be forced to evolve regardless. Then they can be together like this again.
Hotaru only has to wait until the end - and do anything in her power to hasten its arrival for the sake of her own selfish heart.
singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
