Lift off your arms and I'll get the coffee
It's not a smiling matter, though if she could manage one it would be wry and bittersweet anyway. "It's not bad - at least, I hope not," she clarifies, heart heavy to see him so tense when moments ago he'd been half-asleep and comfortable on their couch, their son on his chest and candles in the windows. But that's exactly why she wants to talk about this.
As she follows in his wake, she sits on the arm of one of the plush chairs - perches, really, given how her socked toes idly scuff at the rug underfoot. "I've been thinking a lot this year. About the boys, our family, our home..." the Evergreen glances around, expression warm and wistful. He's always understood her in the years they've been together, but he's not the only one stewing in worried what-ifs. "Since Erebos was born I've mostly been handling the paperwork and advising side of things for ruling. It's largely what I was doing anyway - we both have our strengths." It's not an appropriate time to wink or tease, but her dimples deepen like hints of what might otherwise have been.
Sucking in a quick breath to steel herself, her eyes nevertheless drop down to her hands which have found their way to tangle atop her thighs. "I've been thinking that I...I think I want more time here with the boys. I know we accounted for me being on light duty for the first year with Erebos but -" her voice cracks, a flush of pink coming to her cheeks as her hands tighten, fingers wringing each other until her knuckles are snowy. "I think I want more kids. And I think - I think it would be a disservice to Halo to hold the title of Warden if I'm not planning on going from light duty back to what I used to do." Sure, another child might not have to be a tomorrow thing, but until Erebos is a little older...Evie bites her lip. "Even...even just until they're older?" Her voice is a timid murmur now, self-conscious. Amhran has the body of a man but his mind is still so young, and she's only had him in her life for the same amount of time as their newborn. Maybe when the maternal urge fades she'll feel more comfortable taking up the mantle in full again, but she'd never anticipated falling so fully into motherhood in the first place so she isn't sure when that will happen if it hasn't already. She hadn't expected motherhood to fulfill her in the way it did.
Yet she's nevertheless scared to somehow disappoint or fail him; her husband who has always been the perfect protector of their land, the best co-ruler and partner she could have asked for. "I don't want it to change what I do or how I help. Maybe that means I'm your advisor, or general, or whatever you think is best. I just want more time to enjoy being a mom." Evie doesn't hold her breath but they still come shallowly as she stares unblinking at her hands, shoulders tense.
As she follows in his wake, she sits on the arm of one of the plush chairs - perches, really, given how her socked toes idly scuff at the rug underfoot. "I've been thinking a lot this year. About the boys, our family, our home..." the Evergreen glances around, expression warm and wistful. He's always understood her in the years they've been together, but he's not the only one stewing in worried what-ifs. "Since Erebos was born I've mostly been handling the paperwork and advising side of things for ruling. It's largely what I was doing anyway - we both have our strengths." It's not an appropriate time to wink or tease, but her dimples deepen like hints of what might otherwise have been.
Sucking in a quick breath to steel herself, her eyes nevertheless drop down to her hands which have found their way to tangle atop her thighs. "I've been thinking that I...I think I want more time here with the boys. I know we accounted for me being on light duty for the first year with Erebos but -" her voice cracks, a flush of pink coming to her cheeks as her hands tighten, fingers wringing each other until her knuckles are snowy. "I think I want more kids. And I think - I think it would be a disservice to Halo to hold the title of Warden if I'm not planning on going from light duty back to what I used to do." Sure, another child might not have to be a tomorrow thing, but until Erebos is a little older...Evie bites her lip. "Even...even just until they're older?" Her voice is a timid murmur now, self-conscious. Amhran has the body of a man but his mind is still so young, and she's only had him in her life for the same amount of time as their newborn. Maybe when the maternal urge fades she'll feel more comfortable taking up the mantle in full again, but she'd never anticipated falling so fully into motherhood in the first place so she isn't sure when that will happen if it hasn't already. She hadn't expected motherhood to fulfill her in the way it did.
Yet she's nevertheless scared to somehow disappoint or fail him; her husband who has always been the perfect protector of their land, the best co-ruler and partner she could have asked for. "I don't want it to change what I do or how I help. Maybe that means I'm your advisor, or general, or whatever you think is best. I just want more time to enjoy being a mom." Evie doesn't hold her breath but they still come shallowly as she stares unblinking at her hands, shoulders tense.
There's sleep in your eyes, I'll pull the curtains back gently
Evie
