Zavien
Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times
He didn't think death was supposed to hurt like this.
As he'd given into the throws of death, he'd felt peace and acceptance as the world seemed to fade to nothing. Did he have regrets? Perhaps. He would have liked to smile more. To kiss Lena more. To do more. Yet he'd come to terms with his own life. It'd been happy and full of love, full of people. And when the time came, he'd done what he could to help the others. Maybe Remi had found a way to send reinforcements to finish the yeti. But even if he hadn't, Zavien had come to accept that he'd done all he could. He'd lived with integrity and honor, fighting for those who couldn't protect themselves.
A thud sounded in his head, rattling the thoughts of peace to ones of pain.
He wondered if maybe the gods had disagreed with his self-assessment. Had they decided he deserved to suffer even in the afterlife? Should he have provided more offerings or saved more people? Did Safrin hate him for wasting her vital assistance?
Thud.
It felt like a stab to the heart, yet when he reached for his chest, he felt nothing. That made sense, souls didn't have hearts. The logical side of him seemed to understand, but Zavien couldn't grasp why everything hurt.
Thud.
It came faster.
Thud.
The restarting of a dead heart trying to beat.
Thud. Thud.
Like the quickening of a drum that slowly brought him back with every beat. It pulsed in his brain, until it built to a crescendo, slamming him down into his broken body with the gentleness of an asteroid hitting an ant into oblivion. At first, just the pounding of his heartbeat filled his ears, consuming every ounce of his existence. Then, like he'd been held underwater for too long, his lungs expanded to their limit, sucking in a desperate gasp of air. Each clawed breath of valuable oxygen slowly brought him back deeper into himself.
Zavien could feel the pain, but he couldn't tell if it was a memory or his reality. Was he destined to relive his death for eternity? A groan left his still-bloody lips, weak and full of the fear that had finally caught him. He refused to open his eyes, scared of what he might find. A yeti's arm reaching for him. His innards strewn in the snow. Anything he thought of was worse than the last. Meanwhile, each sense seemed to awaken. His ears caught voices. His mouth tasted the coppery residue of blood. His nerves ached with pain. And the subtle scent of lavender reached him through it all, easing him into a fitful sleep.
As he'd given into the throws of death, he'd felt peace and acceptance as the world seemed to fade to nothing. Did he have regrets? Perhaps. He would have liked to smile more. To kiss Lena more. To do more. Yet he'd come to terms with his own life. It'd been happy and full of love, full of people. And when the time came, he'd done what he could to help the others. Maybe Remi had found a way to send reinforcements to finish the yeti. But even if he hadn't, Zavien had come to accept that he'd done all he could. He'd lived with integrity and honor, fighting for those who couldn't protect themselves.
A thud sounded in his head, rattling the thoughts of peace to ones of pain.
He wondered if maybe the gods had disagreed with his self-assessment. Had they decided he deserved to suffer even in the afterlife? Should he have provided more offerings or saved more people? Did Safrin hate him for wasting her vital assistance?
Thud.
It felt like a stab to the heart, yet when he reached for his chest, he felt nothing. That made sense, souls didn't have hearts. The logical side of him seemed to understand, but Zavien couldn't grasp why everything hurt.
Thud.
It came faster.
Thud.
The restarting of a dead heart trying to beat.
Thud. Thud.
Like the quickening of a drum that slowly brought him back with every beat. It pulsed in his brain, until it built to a crescendo, slamming him down into his broken body with the gentleness of an asteroid hitting an ant into oblivion. At first, just the pounding of his heartbeat filled his ears, consuming every ounce of his existence. Then, like he'd been held underwater for too long, his lungs expanded to their limit, sucking in a desperate gasp of air. Each clawed breath of valuable oxygen slowly brought him back deeper into himself.
Zavien could feel the pain, but he couldn't tell if it was a memory or his reality. Was he destined to relive his death for eternity? A groan left his still-bloody lips, weak and full of the fear that had finally caught him. He refused to open his eyes, scared of what he might find. A yeti's arm reaching for him. His innards strewn in the snow. Anything he thought of was worse than the last. Meanwhile, each sense seemed to awaken. His ears caught voices. His mouth tasted the coppery residue of blood. His nerves ached with pain. And the subtle scent of lavender reached him through it all, easing him into a fitful sleep.
