how do I mourn what never lived

Sing to me, I am not doing well
Getting tired of my own words

Growing up, there had only been one or two places like these in the Hollowed Grounds. Maea recalled Amalia's family bakery as the followed Elizabeth to the chosen table and began peeling off her layers of warm clothing, down to the crimson lined black dress that was her staple. It had been a place as warm and fragrant as this one, but the sortiment paled in comparison to what she found on the menu. Food overall har been scarce, the servings small, the population always one crop fail away from starvation... and they happened more frequently as the years went on.
Stagnation. Life in a bubble, where nothing could enter or leave. Not even the wind, or rain. Sometimes it staggered Maea to think about it. How much had changed since those times. It was ten years in the past, but she wondered if she would ever truly be free of them. The memory was vivid enough; only faces came and went, names and details fading into a blur.

The waitress set a mug of mulled cider and a fruit tart dusted with powdered sugar before her. Maea wrapped her hands around the scalding cup and felt the heat seep into her bones. "I have become stuck," she admitted quietly, "and I don't know how to start moving again. I was killed, earlier this year. Ronin was kind enough to pull me back to life, but... so many things keep tripping me up that I can't do anything."

Pale fingers tightened around the vessel, showing the strain of forcing words to spill that would rather remain locked up in her chest. When breathing deeply didn't ease the tension, Maea raised the cup her lips and sipped, hoping the brew might do for her instead. It did, somewhat, and she managed a brief smile towards her company. 
"What of you? Have you been well?" It was always the hardest question. The one where you decided on what level they would be speaking. Casual, frank or surface level - whatever suited ones fancy, really.

Sing to me, cause I can't hear myself
through the loudness of my own hurts

base inspired by Odd <3