and i'm still waiting for a life that never was
Elizabeth’s emotions were easier to focus on than her own, even as they mirrored the seer’s. Joy mingled with sadness, not only for Sascha’s loss, Alys felt, but for Alys herself and the pain she was experiencing. ”Is it?” she asked, laughing once more, but this time it was a hollow, pitiful thing that sounded nothing like the true laughter of the moment before. Despite Elizabeth’s words, she couldn’t help but feel like laughing meant letting go of some of her mourning, and she wasn’t quite ready to do that.
It felt… like a betrayal, somehow, even if she logically knew that Sascha wouldn’t have wanted her to grieve like this forever. She thought she knew the little ursur well enough to know that she’d have wanted just enough sadness to prove she’d been loved - but then she’d have wanted Alys to keep on living. And living meant feeling all of her feelings, even the happy ones. Logically, that was all true. Emotionally, though… Alys just wasn’t prepared for complexity in her grief.
”Things just feel… empty, without her. And it’s… hard, being around people. Especially people with companions. Even with Tal, I -“ She cut herself off, swallowing hard. ”Sometimes I’m jealous,” she whispered, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she admitted to her darkest thoughts. ”I would never wish this on him, but I’m jealous that Boreal’s still here and Sascha isn’t. And then I’m horrified that I have those feelings, because it’s not me.”
It felt… like a betrayal, somehow, even if she logically knew that Sascha wouldn’t have wanted her to grieve like this forever. She thought she knew the little ursur well enough to know that she’d have wanted just enough sadness to prove she’d been loved - but then she’d have wanted Alys to keep on living. And living meant feeling all of her feelings, even the happy ones. Logically, that was all true. Emotionally, though… Alys just wasn’t prepared for complexity in her grief.
”Things just feel… empty, without her. And it’s… hard, being around people. Especially people with companions. Even with Tal, I -“ She cut herself off, swallowing hard. ”Sometimes I’m jealous,” she whispered, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she admitted to her darkest thoughts. ”I would never wish this on him, but I’m jealous that Boreal’s still here and Sascha isn’t. And then I’m horrified that I have those feelings, because it’s not me.”
Alys
Minor powerplay allowed without permission.
Feel free to use force/magic on Alys.
Emotional Telepathy | The user can read deep emotions of those within a 5 foot radius at will. Control is excellent. Note: "Deep emotions" include anything written in a character's narration in a post.
Emotional Perception | The user can read surface level emotions of those within a 15 foot radius. Control is moderate. Note: "Surface level emotions" include anything written in a character's narration in a post.
Feel free to use force/magic on Alys.
Emotional Telepathy | The user can read deep emotions of those within a 5 foot radius at will. Control is excellent. Note: "Deep emotions" include anything written in a character's narration in a post.
Emotional Perception | The user can read surface level emotions of those within a 15 foot radius. Control is moderate. Note: "Surface level emotions" include anything written in a character's narration in a post.
