Zavien
Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.
Tal's shock told him enough about how much he knew. Apparently, Alys and Mel hadn't told many people, which he was simultaneously grateful for, and not. It meant that he had to be the one to break the news to people, to decide who he told and how. Other than Tal and Lena, he hoped to tell Koa at some point, but others...? He didn't know if he was ready.
Zavien accepted the hug, returning it as well as he could from the angle he was sitting. The contact was like a burst of sunlight breaking through his troubles, casting aside doubts and fears with the ease of a gentle breeze against the lingering morning fog. His inhale was lighter, the constant tightness of his throat weakening even as his breath shook. A single tear broke through the dam he'd worked to build, but he swiped it away as Tal withdrew, determined not to break completely. There were too many things to discuss.
His head nodded in agreement with Tal's assessment, trying to fuel the hope that he had nurtured, the hope that he hadn't ruined it all. There were certainly signs, considering she hadn't pushed him away completely, but the fear still clung to him like a detestable odor, making him hesitant to believe that they'd weathered the storm. Zavien just didn't know if their fledgling relationship could withstand his new trauma, or the threat of prolonged separation.
He also couldn't say he believed in her fighting capabilities after their multiple training sessions, but her willpower and determination were enough to stand against any foe. It was one of the reasons he loved her. So the question made him perk up, almost offended by the thought. "Of course I trust her." Pausing, Zavien shook his head emphatically, gesturing to the floating island in the distance. "But I don't trust them." The purple monsters who were infecting his city, and the rest of Caido, in some sick desire to control them. It made him nauseous just thinking about how they'd shown they were willing to do anything to those who didn't agree with them. Soh and Flora were just the examples he could think of (that he knew of at least).
A tremble started back in his fingers, quickly spreading to his spine. "Tal, I don't have any family left. If they wanted to hurt me or send me some warning, they would go for her." His breathing quickened, panic making him fidget, kneading his hands and shifting the snow with his boot. All the anxieties seemed to flood back. "And I don't know if I could live with myself if - " He let Tal finish the sentence with all the grisly possibilities that he'd thought of in the last week. Grinding his teeth, Zavien sucked in a breath. "How do I protect her if I'm not with her? Should I stay in Stormbreak and possibly draw their attention? People have been getting infected left and right. I worry that it will only be a matter of time before every Breaker is infected - including Lena - and I have no way to stop it." And even if he was with her, or in Stormbreak, he'd proven himself too weak to protect even himself. It just made him more hopeless that there was any way out, which felt like something so foreign and strange to his optimistic mind. He had to prop his head in his hands, trying to slow the racing of his heartbeat with slow breaths. He'd promised Lena a dance, he couldn't fall apart now.
Zavien accepted the hug, returning it as well as he could from the angle he was sitting. The contact was like a burst of sunlight breaking through his troubles, casting aside doubts and fears with the ease of a gentle breeze against the lingering morning fog. His inhale was lighter, the constant tightness of his throat weakening even as his breath shook. A single tear broke through the dam he'd worked to build, but he swiped it away as Tal withdrew, determined not to break completely. There were too many things to discuss.
His head nodded in agreement with Tal's assessment, trying to fuel the hope that he had nurtured, the hope that he hadn't ruined it all. There were certainly signs, considering she hadn't pushed him away completely, but the fear still clung to him like a detestable odor, making him hesitant to believe that they'd weathered the storm. Zavien just didn't know if their fledgling relationship could withstand his new trauma, or the threat of prolonged separation.
He also couldn't say he believed in her fighting capabilities after their multiple training sessions, but her willpower and determination were enough to stand against any foe. It was one of the reasons he loved her. So the question made him perk up, almost offended by the thought. "Of course I trust her." Pausing, Zavien shook his head emphatically, gesturing to the floating island in the distance. "But I don't trust them." The purple monsters who were infecting his city, and the rest of Caido, in some sick desire to control them. It made him nauseous just thinking about how they'd shown they were willing to do anything to those who didn't agree with them. Soh and Flora were just the examples he could think of (that he knew of at least).
A tremble started back in his fingers, quickly spreading to his spine. "Tal, I don't have any family left. If they wanted to hurt me or send me some warning, they would go for her." His breathing quickened, panic making him fidget, kneading his hands and shifting the snow with his boot. All the anxieties seemed to flood back. "And I don't know if I could live with myself if - " He let Tal finish the sentence with all the grisly possibilities that he'd thought of in the last week. Grinding his teeth, Zavien sucked in a breath. "How do I protect her if I'm not with her? Should I stay in Stormbreak and possibly draw their attention? People have been getting infected left and right. I worry that it will only be a matter of time before every Breaker is infected - including Lena - and I have no way to stop it." And even if he was with her, or in Stormbreak, he'd proven himself too weak to protect even himself. It just made him more hopeless that there was any way out, which felt like something so foreign and strange to his optimistic mind. He had to prop his head in his hands, trying to slow the racing of his heartbeat with slow breaths. He'd promised Lena a dance, he couldn't fall apart now.
