I heard you screamin' that you want me dead
The only sentiment that doesn't feel painfully hollow and far too late is the strong, guttural, I've got you. Only that feels true, and only because Luka can verify it with his own eyes and body. Safety, hope, optimism - those are concepts darkened and shattered by the violation of his childhood haven, his body, his mind. The godlike image of his father as the man who could fix anything and everything has been shattered and discarded. What Luka had once thought was a visage carved of granite is now revealed to have no more resilience than a sandcastle when compared against an entity as grand as the ocean. Or maybe it is Luka who is made of sand and soil, pitiful and formless and scarcely strong enough to be worth treading on.
He sits half-curled in the tub, lanky legs askew and eyes unblinkingly fixated on the way the water darkens and turns into muddied shades of rust. Soap bubbles collect on the surface in jarringly cheery antithesis to the bloody depths they accent. He flinches each time his father's hands cross paths with wounds that exist only as faint but extensive scars now, bracing for pain that doesn't come. Hysterically, he wishes magic couldn't mend so quickly. It doesn't feel like his mind can come to terms with the fact that so much agony had transpired and is now simply gone. It makes the wounds in his mind all the more discordant.
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If Luka was ripped apart until he felt Ludo's rags brushing against his spine but nobody saw it and his body doesn't show the evidence, did it really happen?
He blinks hard to bring himself back into his body, uncertain how long he was...wherever he was. His skin and hair are clean now and the water is still lukewarm which is a positive sign. "I don't wanna go back to my room," he croaks, and he can't even blame the hoarseness on having screamed so much. It's only weakness. "I can't. Please." He's not sure he can sleep in that bed ever again. Rising on coltish legs from the bath, dripping water and aimless in his sudden need for movement, Luka clambers out gracelessly and reaches for the towel beside the clothes his dad had conjured. He's not certain of anything right now, but he knows his dad will help him through these next steps. Not just getting dressed, but whatever else may await in the bleak, sunless days that lie ahead.
He sits half-curled in the tub, lanky legs askew and eyes unblinkingly fixated on the way the water darkens and turns into muddied shades of rust. Soap bubbles collect on the surface in jarringly cheery antithesis to the bloody depths they accent. He flinches each time his father's hands cross paths with wounds that exist only as faint but extensive scars now, bracing for pain that doesn't come. Hysterically, he wishes magic couldn't mend so quickly. It doesn't feel like his mind can come to terms with the fact that so much agony had transpired and is now simply gone. It makes the wounds in his mind all the more discordant.
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If Luka was ripped apart until he felt Ludo's rags brushing against his spine but nobody saw it and his body doesn't show the evidence, did it really happen?
He blinks hard to bring himself back into his body, uncertain how long he was...wherever he was. His skin and hair are clean now and the water is still lukewarm which is a positive sign. "I don't wanna go back to my room," he croaks, and he can't even blame the hoarseness on having screamed so much. It's only weakness. "I can't. Please." He's not sure he can sleep in that bed ever again. Rising on coltish legs from the bath, dripping water and aimless in his sudden need for movement, Luka clambers out gracelessly and reaches for the towel beside the clothes his dad had conjured. He's not certain of anything right now, but he knows his dad will help him through these next steps. Not just getting dressed, but whatever else may await in the bleak, sunless days that lie ahead.
Is that what the voice says inside of your head?
Luka
