Sing to me, I am not doing well
Getting tired of my own words
Ah, she seemed to be getting through now. He was listening as always but Maea thought he heard her in a another way, now. And once again Hadama surprised her with his patience and tolerance. Relieved, she found it heartening to be talking about solutions, about fixing the problem rather than just adjusting to it. Getting tired of my own words
Maybe she needed to do both, to an extent. But it was difficult to embrace self-love and acceptance when you were afraid of yourself.
This time she examine the question far more open-minded, enthusiasm rekindling along with hope. "It's awareness, isn't it? I know I have the potential to become dangerous. Like you said, I can take precautions. While I can't eliminate the potential för mistakes, with less than changing the nature of this race - " she pointed to herself, indicating the Ancient in her " - I can attempt to minimize risk. Maybe... not isolating all the time, but at least when the bloodlust comes on? I can go where others can't. To the Climb, to some volcano, off into the Wilds. And... perhaps, if it isn't too much to ask... I can ask my friends for help... so I learn to better understand myself, learn the limits of my control...?"
She looked up at Hadama, noting and worrying about the weariness in his eyes, and what it meant. Where did it stem from? Was she the cause, another burden to bear in mind for someone already struggling? It made her sad to think of. Determined too; it wouldn't do to keep going the way she had. If she was serious about doing as little damage as possible during her remaining existence, it was high time to start accepting responsibility and stop looking for excuses to remain in this limbo of inaction.
Perhaps it wouldn't be an entirely comfortable existence... but who, in truth, lived without some form of struggle? Not even the gods.
Sing to me, cause I can't hear myself
through the loudness of my own hurts
through the loudness of my own hurts
base inspired by Odd <3
